AAAHOO! WEREWOLVES OF LONDON!

What in the hell is this? It was only yesterday I was dancing around in my basement bedroom listening to The Jackson Five on my eight-track tape player, pretending like I was Michael Jackson. Well, times have changed. If I were to go around acting like Michael Jackson today I would be arrested on the spot! Holy fuck dude, what went wrong? First your the cute pre-teen pop star dancing around and charming the masses with your brothers and then slowly transforms into the shy teenager singing hits like "Ben". Next your singing hits like "Can't Stop Till You Get Enough" and skyrocket into super stardom with the best selling record of all time. The descent is less than palatable when you started hanging out with toddlers and chimps, but the real kicker is the mutilation of your face. Goddamn man, what the fuck happened to you? What kind of trauma could you have suffered to throw you into the dark abyss of what ever the fuck it is your doing? Few things scare me but you my friend not only scare me, you frighten the shit out of me. The deep end buddy, that's where you are! You went off the deep end. Good thing you have money because any average psycho would have been institutionalized years ago. Oh, by the way, happy 45th birthday freako!

THE WEDDING

It started off on a rocky road the night before. Josie has a ton of siblings, a small family of 13 kids including her, and a couple of her sisters were over here criticizing everything during the rehearsal. Feelings were hurt and I made the statement that I wouldn't allow anything like that to happen the night of the wedding. I expected shit to hit the fan but everything went smooth after that. I'm sure word of that got around because the one sister notorious for starting trouble, the one who called and apologized to Josie never even showed up. The other two sisters showed up at the wedding, tried to start shit with several different people but were completely ignored. After acting like spoiled children that had been disciplined, standing at the back pouting, they finally just kind of slipped off and went home without anyone noticing. One of these sisters isn't even talking to her son. He showed up with his wife and little girl and Josie's sister went inside and sat at our dining room table until they left. You want to talk about drama queens! Mostly everyone left by 10:00 p.m. while the rest of us diehards sat under the stars drinking beer and listening to classic 70's rock n' roll. We were all pretty shitty drunk by midnight and called it a night around 1:00 a.m. I would say it was a success! The food was awesome, thanks to the ladies at Mama Lama's, and everyone was well behaved for the most part. I'm surprised none the less.