Tuesday, December 30, 2003

NEW LOOK UPDATED!



Tweaked the feel of this page just a tiny bit and added a third column to even things out. Also updated my favorite C.D.s page and added six more albums that I enjoy there. Just click on the favorite C.D.s button on the left side to access that page. What are some of your favorite albums? Comments damn it! Leave some!! Other than that I'm bored and broke as hell!

Monday, December 29, 2003

NOT MUCH TO REPORT



It's been a pretty dull day mostly spent in front of my computer reading. I did take Brandon to the park today  so he could ride his bike and play with other kids. While there a van full of day care kids showed up. One of them was an eight year old boy who was beyond effeminate. Someone had already cornered the market on the whole drama queen persona at a very early age. Brandon is staying at Christians house tonight so it's basically been two days without kids fighting seeing Miranda spent last night at Lakota's house. So basically I spent the day reading about everyone from Aleister Crowley and Anton Levey to Friedrich Nietzsche. So I learned that syphilis and drugs are bad, as is mental illness. I've also been listening to new wave music the entire day. I had to transfer a whole disk of 80's MP3s to a new disk because the first was spinning poorly in the CD ROM making it sound like it was either about to orgasm or take a dump. Everything is fine now.


WHO IS JESUS?


Brandon earlier in the day made a comment about Jesus. I asked him if he knew who Jesus was. He said, "Yeah, he's that weird guy a lot of people believe in." I asked him if he believed in him. "Nah, he's too weird." Hey, don't blame me for his impression of Jesus, I don't even talk about him in this house unless someone else brings it up! I would have to agree though. Who else would impregnate his own unwed virgin mother in her teens in order to be born as a god who is also a man, and then have himself be put to death so that he could ultimately spare people from his own wrath? You don't even want to know Miranda's impressions of that religion.


TUNES THAT KICKED MY ASS TODAY


Genisis - Mama
Cameo - Word Up
Cabaret Voltaire - I Want You
Altered Images - Happy Birthday
Don Henley - Dirty Laundry
Bronski Beat - Small-town Boy
J Geils Band - Love Stinks

Sunday, December 28, 2003

UPDATED!!! 6:00 P.M.


I updated the bottom portion of todays blog simply because I have the tenancy to ramble and leave things out. Sometimes I don't finish sentences even though I'm thinking it in my head so I added a sentence here and a word there.

OH MY GOD!



The Suburbs "In Combo" is out on C.D. and I'm just about ready to shit myself! Do you know how many time I've looked for this on the internet, in record stores, and in second rate whore houses? You simply have no idea. I can't believe they finally released this on C.D. after all these years! This little gem came out in 1980 but I didn't hear of it until 1985. This is probably my favorite new wave band of all time! O-kay, maybe Gary Numan is too, and DEVO, but The Suburbs really didn't get much recognition outside of Minneapolis. CLICK HERE! to hear some clips off of the songs from the album. Tiny People, Goggles On, Cows, Black Leather Stick, Cig Machine, DD 69, Chemistry Set, Underwater Lovers, man talk about a great album full of quirky post punk! I'm too broke to buy it just yet, but I guarantee your sweet little ass I'll have this bad boy in less than a month! Yes, I'm pretty easily excited.


NEW BLOG ADDED


I added a new blog to my blog roll. It's called "The Street Satanist." Before you have a knee-jerk reaction (or leave an idiotic piece of tripe in my comments section) you should read up on what Satanism really is, or even better just don't go there if your offended by such material. Being of the Left Hand Path I'm technically about as close to being a Satanist as one can get. I've gone over why I'm not a Satanist on this blog before and if you want to know why I'm no just ask me. I want a wide variety of blogs on my blogroll and I have Atheists, Christians, Buddhists, and now Satanists. If you know nothing about Satanism other than what you've been taught by your local church or seen on talk shows then educate yourself. If you need help educating yourself don't be afraid to ask me questions. Remember, I don't believe in god nor do I believe in Satan, and don't believe in Zimmerman or even Bob Dylan (joke), and believing in a dead hippy (John Lennon, not Jesus) is simply silly.

HAGS



I'm so tired of being assaulted by bitter old hags at work. One snapped at me tonight but for no reason. I'm letting the office handle these old hags from now on, I'm finished with them. Being nice has gotten me nowhere! Fuck you, fucking bitter old fucks!!!


MUSIC FROM THE ELDER



I'm listening to KISS "Music From The Elder" right now. Most of the critics though it was shit, as did I when it first came out. I was totally Mr. Metal Head at the time and though it was sappy. My opinion now is that it's one of the best records they ever did. I'm still Mr. Metal Head but minus the raging hormones. Anyway, KISS rocks no matter what.


OTHER COOL TUNES TODAY


Emerson, Lake, & Palmer - Lucky Man
Donna Summer - I Feel Love
10CC - I'm Not In Love
Gary Wright - My Love Is Alive
Led Zeppilin - No Quarter
Head East - Never Been Any Reason
Pink Floyd - Time
Rush - Cygnus X1
Spooky Tooth - The Mirror
Steve Miller - Fly Like An Eaagle
Styx - Put Me On
Yes - I've Seen All Good People
Todd Rundgren's Utopia Freak Parade
Frank Zappa - A Token Of My Extreme

Friday, December 26, 2003

MORE MEXICAN PLEASE!



Three days of eating Mexican food can be both good an bad. I love Mexican food! On the other hand I have become this foul smelling individual that nobody wants to be around all of a sudden. Josie's mom finds it all very amusing though. She has learned of the power that I wield and how I can send people running. I never pushed for Mexican food three days in a row though, it's not my fault!!! I'm making fried chicken, mashed potatoes with home made gravy, and some kind of vegetable tonight for dinner. Very non-threatening colonically speaking.


THE DAY AFTER


Yesterday was a tad busy so today I got to put together bikes, shelves, and other assorted Christmas gifts. I said "FUCK!" at least 100 times today. Between smacking my fingers with a hammer, a wrench letting loose off of a nut and my hand slipping into sharp metal, and things generally not fitting or being poorly explained by manuals, I would have to say I faired pretty well seeing that I didn't have a mental breakdown. Did I mention the fact that kids were fighting and so forth during all of this? And Miranda, princess of the house, is being a little bitch. Brandon was nice enough to spend his own money and bought her some nice Lisa Frank stuff for Christmas and she basically told him she didn't want it. He took it back and it hurt his feelings. Brandon decided that if she didn't want it he was going to make good use of it. Well, Miranda wasn't expecting that so all of a sudden she wanted it and Brandon told her no. She started in with major attitude and I sent her to her room.  She really disappointed me today. Brandon on the other hand, who is always spastic and trying to send me over the edge impressed me when he took the present back then stood his ground when she demanded it back. I hope she learns a lesson about giving. Now Josie needs to learn a lesson about giving! Sorry...


WORK


One day of work this week. One day of work next week. How in the fuck can one pay bills this way? I'll be bitching in no time though about how busy it is so forgive my cranky ass.


MOVIES


Watched Jeepers Creepers II last night at Lina and José's place right after we ate more Mexican food. It was much better than I though it would be, both the food and the movie. I must say though Victor Salva's penchant for young boys really shows through in this movie. I can see one or two guys running around with no shirt on, but a whole busload of teenage boys? It was left wide open for a third installment, surprise! In the next movie I want a hotel full of hot Asian chicks to be taunted for two hours. Now that would be rad! On the other hand we had to watch The Hulk on DVD because Brandon got it for Christmas and demanded that we all watch it together. It was a bad movie when I took him to the theater to see it, and it was even worse yesterday sitting at home watching it. I liked Spiderman, but I told Brandon I wasn't watching The Hulk ever again.

A NEW LOOK!



Yes, I went ahead and did it, I gave the page a make over. I think it gives the page a cleaner look and yet remains virtually the same. I had a bitch of a time figuring out how to manipulate css to make it all work. Well, many hours later it's done. With a few tweaks here and there all will be fine. Let me know how you fill about the new look. DO IT! Don't be shy!!!

Wednesday, December 24, 2003

LOOK WHAT I FOUND



CLICK TO SEE CHRISTMAS CARD


I forgot about this, but this is the Christmas card I sent via e-mail last year. Have a sense of humor about it, not many people who received it did.


FARTS


I have to share this even though it happened about four days ago. A small group of us were working the other night in a pairing of smaller meeting rooms. Three of us working one room and three others in the other. The rooms are connected by a pantry. While in the pantry talking to a co-worker one of the older lady co-workers passed by, goes to open the door to the room she is working in and then pauses. Out came this huge butt ripping fart! She subtly turns around and says, "Oooh, excuse me." I was shocked and said, "Yeah I guess so!!!" I've heard tails (pun) of this happening with her butt (pun) this is the first time I've been exposed to this. I was in shock as were the others sitting there. I'm glad I wasn't drinking mild because it would have shot straight out of my mouth!


EXPERIMENTAL MAYHEM


I've spent about the last 24 hours or so researching electronic music pioneers from the 1940's through the 1960's and came up finding some really cool clips on the internet. Here is just a few of the people I have been reading about all day: Karlheinz Stockhausen, Robert Moog, Raymond Scott, Leon Theremin, John Cage, Pierre Schaeffer, Pierre Henry, Bebe & Louis Barron just to name a few. I found some clips HERE if you want to get a taste of very early experimental music. Listen to them all, even if it drives you a bit batty, it really is beautiful. I can see where groups like Nurse With Wound and Skinny Puppy get some of their influence. Symphonie pour un homme seul is a must listen! Anyway, I've learned a lot of history and it blows my mind that these people were so creative and yet our culture thrives on the vapid tripe thrown at them by the recording industry giants. I know why I'm drawn to more experimental stuff, because it's imaginative and otherworldly. Doubt me? Then go fucking jack off to Coldplay! Trust me? Then go find some Stockhausen, Kraftwerk, The Residents, Ramond Scott (yes, you've listened to him a million times and don't even realize it), or John Cage. It's not all electronic, some of it is piano or tape loops. Oh, and if your looking for some modern experimental stuff then get your hands on Dead Voices On Air, Not Breathing, or even that first Daft Punk album. I thank Señor Jesus de Queso every day for groups like We™, Squarepusher, Apex Twin, Autechre, Download, and Howie B.


COOL TUNES DE JOUR


Spooky Tooth - The Mirror
Hyperdriver - Wasted Prayers
Robert Fripp - 1988
Kraftwerk - Radio Activity
Shizuo - Punks
Laziest Men On Mars - Invasion Of The Gabber Robots
The Residents - Bach Is Dead

Tuesday, December 23, 2003

TUCSON CHRISTMAS TRAFFIC



Traffic was just off the wall crazy today! Everyone is out trying to buy last minute stuff and it's fucking ugly as hell. I'm not leaving the house until after Christmas! The worst traffic moment today was the lady parked in the middle of Broadway heading east about 500 yards away from the Broadway and Kolb intersection. She was just sitting there casually talking away on her cell phone while traffic was backed up by a good 26 cars or more in the right hand lane. I thought she was having car problems at first but I think she was just to busy talking and didn't want to be bothered. She caught up with us before the light and was speeding like a demon, still on her phone! People are fucking crazy.


ONE VOTE WINS!


O-kay only one person said anything about the layout so I guess I will keep it the same. I was toying around with the lay out because I was bored. Thanks Keith!


SURGERY


My mom had her back operated on today but I am not sure how it went. Will have to call her tomorrow and see. Hope everything is fine with her, wish her well!!!


BURWELL NEBRASKA AND BARTENDING


I added some pictures to the PhotoBlog today of the movie theater I hung out in just about every Saturday night from age 10 till I was 18 years old. Also added an aerial photo of the elementary school I attended. I have dreams about both of those places quite frequently. Speaking of dreams, last night I dreamt that I was applying for work at Ventana Canyon and they were going to hire me as a bar tender. It was a pretty long dream that went nowhere. I was excited to be working there again though.

Saturday, December 20, 2003

A NEW LOOK?




Thinking about changing the look to this page? Click above and leave a comment below and let me know if you like the current layout or if I should change it.



The link to this no longer remains, the format did change on this page

Friday, December 19, 2003

ONE OF THOSE DAYS




I'm coming down with something, feels a bit like a cold. I guess I'm due for some kind of illness. I knew I was coming down with something yesterday but Josie tried to convince me I was hung over. Wrong! I know hung over, trust me. Even though I rarely drink anything anymore I will never forget the many times I felt like my head was going to slide off of my neck and my innards were going to bubble up through my throat. So I would still put money on a cold seeing this is day two of the blahs.


HE SAID SHE SAID...


I guess people are already spreading rumors and misquoting me from the other night at the employee holiday party where I won 1st place in the karaoke contest. What I said was, "Are you ready to Rock' n Roll?" Not, "Are you ready to party?" Who gives a fuck about how many drinks I had, I'm a lightweight and it takes virtually nothing to get me drunk. If I had eight beers in two hours I would be so gone that I wouldn't be able to walk! Also, who fucking won that contest? I did! Why? Because people were board stiff and I got them to participate when it was my turn, I didn't just stare blankly at that little t.v. set where they lyrics were being regurgitated up like everyone else did. I took a lifeless party up about two notches and got things going and was having a blast doing it. That does not make one drunk in my opinion.


WHAT NOT TO DO


Yes, it was my wedding anniversary two nights ago and I had to work. I went and sang for my peers instead of going home to watch t.v. with my wife who is comatose after 8:00 p.m. every night of the week. I got in trouble for this and I take full responsibility for this, I should have known better but in my defense I will say this, and have said this (how many times did I just say "this"?) to my wife. Josie falls asleep on the sofa every evening around 8:00 p.m. watching television no matter what day it is. I could be the horniest guy in the world, and who's to say I'm not, and I couldn't budge her from her death like state. What good would have it done for me to come home and watch her sleep for a few minutes then head in here so that I could be with my beloved computer? I rest my case. I've promised something nice for next year, and I know what it is already. I will tell you this though, no matter what it is it will not be good enough for her. That has always been the case on birthdays, Christmas, anniversaries, you name it. I gave up trying years ago so I do not feel one bit guilty about two nights ago. I had a blast!

Thursday, December 18, 2003

I FUCKING ROCK!



Sure, I worked a double shift today. Sure, it was my wedding anniversary and I got off of work early. Yeah, it was the employee holiday party tonight with a d.j. and lots of food and a karaoke contest to boot. What did I do? Dennis came down to the function I was working and said, "Dude, are you still working? You have to get upstairs and sign up for that karaoke contest, they only have two spots left open and you have about five minutes till they close the contest for entries." So I was off of work and headed home, but the whole idea of going upstairs and singing a song in front of over 200 people was just too inviting so I ran upstairs and got second to last spot for the contest. I'm not going to say everybody was lame because that isn't true. But what everyone was doing was staring at the little t.v. screen and singing to the t.v. and not the audience. It was my turn and I had a beer in hand, held it high and said, "Are you ready to rock and roll???" Every body cheered, then Paranoid by Black Sabbath kicked in and the room fucking went wild! I worked the crowed and even had people dancing on the dance floor. One more person sang after me then they called everyone up. They eliminated almost everybody. It was down to three people, two girls and me. They asked the crowd if they liked the first girl? Cheers. They asked if they liked the second girl. Room went wild!! I'm beat, I just knew it. They started chanting her name, Sarah... SarAH... SARAH!!! And then they announced me and the crowed turned on that dirty bitch Sarah and it turned into, JOE... JOE... JOE.... JOE!!!!!!!!!!! Yes, I won! And what is so great about all of this? The fact that the General Manager and the Assistant General Manager of the resort were in the room chanting my name and holding up drinks. This is far superior to the time I got employee of the month two years ago out of a possible 500 other employees. That is only 12 people out of 500 for the whole year. No one chanted my name then, I only got a hand shake and lunch for two at the resort bistro. I fucking rocked the mic tonight, don't forget that motherfuckers!!!!

Tuesday, December 16, 2003

GIVING THE FRENCH HEAD


turt.jpg (21634 bytes)


We all know Saddam has been caught so I  don't need to go over the details but I though I would include this picture I found over at the Jeff Rense page. I have nothing to do with this page or the views expressed there so take it for what it is. What are my views on this situation? I'm glad they caught him and I'm sure the world is a better place without this dick head being in charge of my local Denny's franchise let alone an entire country, but even if he does have any important information of any type they are only going to be able to drag it out of him with torture. I don't believe things are going to be any better over there because they found him. It makes Bush look better in the long run but I'm not a dick sucking republican so this is only going to further fuck us all in the long run. I wouldn't vote for this guy even if your were threatening to shove a watermelon up my ass. I'm glad I'm an independent and have the common sense to realize there are more than just republicans and democrats floating around this morbid little stage that we call reality. Who do I endorse at the moment? I really couldn't make a choice at the moment. I wish Jello Biafra was running for president. Jello was the lead singer for The Dead Kennedys and currently does mostly spoken word albums and some punk music. You can listen to free clips of his albums at Alternative Tentacles Records and you can also use a great resource knows as the All Music Guide to find out more about him, The Dead Kennedys, or any of your favorite bands. But as far as this whole war on Iraq goes, I'm dead set against it. I honestly don't think they are achieving anything good in the interest of the U.S but only fattening the pockets of those who already have fat mattresses. My nephew may be being sent there soon but that is what you get for joining the military. I'll quit ranting now and quietly walk on down the hall...


MEAT


Kudos to John and Lisa at work this weekend!!! They saved the life of a woman who was choking to death on a piece of meat. Lisa applied the Heimlich maneuver but to no avail. The lady soon passed out and both John and Lisa carried her out to the foyer and John was then able to dig the piece of meat from her throat and clear a breathing passage. The lady resumed breathing, threw up, and was then fine. She declined medical attention when the paramedics got there, finished her dinner, and went on to dance and have a great time. True heroes in my book!


VERY KERI AND GOD


Boy, how does one describe the very lovely Very Keri? Vivacious, pretty, loony, vegetarian, activist, loony, flippant, spiritual, new-age, did I mention loony? I used to love Keri a whole bunch, but she just kind of floats off the deep end of non-reality far too often for the likes of me. Keri quit working with us about two years ago and has only been joining us on extremely huge functions like the one on Saturday night. So I had not seen hide nor hair of her in a years length. My first impression of her this year was that she was just gone, checked out, left the building, what ever. She went on and on about how she lived in Keri's psychedelic world and how happy she was all of the time. This went on for about 20 minutes, well longer actually because I was finally able to get away and I know she didn't shut up when I left. She made a fool out of herself at roll call and then started in on her spiritual views. She was talking about her views on Jesus, how she was a Jew, a Muslim, a Christian, a Buddhist, from another planet (she also told someone else that I too was from another planet, thanks Keri!) and all of this offended one of the part time guys named Mark and he threatened to take her to human resources if she didn't stop. I don't think he realized that she doesn't work for the resort but had only volunteered to work with us for the evening. She went on and on. Someone suggested that she was high as a kite. Yes, I would have to agree with this, she had to be higher than a mother fucker! She cried, she vented, she went off on the banquet captains and the manager and they had her escorted off property by security. She called my boss the devil at one point, and called the guy she offended Mr. Sideburns guy. I'm going to have to talk to Mr. Sideburns guy to see where he stands on religion because seeing that I'm an atheist I have the tenancy to jump in on nonsensical religious banter if only to mock it. Example? Well, Sunday someone was asking about my water heater going out and I went on to explain about how a lot of things have given out as of late. One of the Christian guys who I like very much said something very stupid. He said, "What kind of message do you thing god is sending you?" I said, "Well, seeing that god does not exist I would say he's sending no message, but if he did and he was responsible for all of this I would have to say god is a real asshole!" Not even a rebuttal of any sort.

Monday, December 15, 2003

DAY 3 OF 3 AND BEYOND




Crispy fried Jesus am I glad to be home doing nothing! Well, that is a lie seeing I'm in front of a computer typing away and listening to Joe's Garage Acts I, II, and III by Frank Zappa, but it's bliss all the same. Day 2 of 3 of living at work was hell, but day 3 of 3 was worse than I could have imagined it. The other night I had finished typing my blog entry and headed to bed so that I could get a measly four hours of sleep before work started all over again. On my way to bed I had the misfortune of stepping in a puddle of warm water that I mistook as dog piss. Well, it wasn't piss, it was water from my water heater saturating the carpet. Yes, the damn thing had given up and died while making one hell of a mess in the process. I woke Josie up and started cleaning up the water. She was going to work with us on Sunday but someone needed to stay home and get things straightened out. I couldn't because it was the busiest day of the year and I would have been crucified and disowned by everyone at work. Josie elected to stay home because she didn't really want to work with us anyway and someone needed to stay home and get that damn thing replaced. Well, she impressed the hell out of me! She had that damn thing bought and installed before 10:00 a.m. that same day! Total cost? Well, it cost just under $300 for the water heater and free installation courtesy of my neighbor Jerry and my brother-in-law Luis. Do I have $300 to spend on a water heater? Fuck no!!! Anyway, back to work. It was the huge yearly Christmas brunch for the Jim Click (local car dealer) employees. The laundry department forgot to wash the white linens to be used on this particular event. After substituting Christmas colors in place of the white that had been ordered by the client, setting most of the room with red and green, the client showed up and demanded the white that had been ordered. This friends set the pace for the rest of the day. People didn't show up for work, many showed up late, some showed up even later than that, and it was a mad dash to the finish line. The only prize I won in this fabulous endeavor was that I got to carve meat all day instead of the person who was assigned to do so. That is what you get for being four hours late for work. Why is this such a treat? It's a great little job because you get to talk to the client all day and escape the doldrums of everyday banquet serving. The function was a success but I was scheduled for another function at the country club after that. We were promised we wouldn't have to do extra duties by the manager of the country club earlier in the day. That means moving tables and huge stacks of chairs. We were lied to. After 13 hours of work we then had to move tables and chairs around. Well, we brought this to the attention of senior management at the resort and they are going to take corrective action against said manager for making us do this shit after we all just put in three days of double shifts. You see, the country club associates didn't partake in any of the mayhem that weekend, knew that we all had just worked like mad dogs for three days, and chose to not help any of us and then proceeded to go home early, manager included. After work Will and I went out for a couple of beers. After two beers I was about to pass out and headed home. I took a shower and Josie said I passed out in a matter of seconds after hitting the bed. I woke up this afternoon at 12:30 p.m. and went to a meeting with our managers and senior management. It was a two hour bitch-fest for the most part. I pissed some people (fellow associates)off at the meeting but fuck them, bitter fuckers. I'll type more tomorrow about day two of three and little "very" Keri and her journey into insanity that got her escorted off of property two nights ago.

Sunday, December 14, 2003

DAY 2 OF 3




Holy fuck! I'm beat to a fucking pulp and you want to talk about drama! I'll write more later, I have to be back to work in five hours, I need sleep and tomorrow is going to be hell. Yesterday was not so bad, today was hell, I can't even imagine what the hell tomorrow holds. Oh, and you, yes you! People at work are pissed off at you buddy! You pulled some pretty fast shit by calling in like you did today and people are not happy about it. Plus, you missed a coworker getting escorted off of property tonight for being a babbling psychotic mess. Drugs and work don't mix. I need to get sleep now. Fucking A, I don't want to work tomorrow!!!!

Friday, December 12, 2003

DAY 1 OF 3




Today is busy day 1 out of 3. I went into work at 4:45 a.m. today and did a breakfast for about 12 people. After that I gathered things for the event happening tonight. I was lucky enough to get home at 11:00a.m. and took a nap. It's now 2:19p.m. and I have to get back to work. Can you feel the excitement! I'm so excited I can hardly keep from pissing myself. I'll type more tonight if something actually happens. This is going to be a long weekend.

Wednesday, December 10, 2003

LUCKY WISHBONE




Had Lucky Wishbone chicken last night. Damn, I loves me some Lucky Wishbone chicken! Chicken, garlic toast, french fries, and jalapeno peppers, talk about orgasmic! If you don't live in Tucson and have never had it, your missing out. If you live in Tucson and don't like it, your missing out. No Viki, I'm not trying to make you home sick, wink.gif (278 bytes)  I promise! I know you have all heard me rant about Lucky Wishbone before, and it won't be the last!

VASELINE AND SMOKING POT


Here is the story I promised about a week ago. It was late July or early August 1985 during monsoon season and I had only smoked pot once before but I was pretty drunk when I had done it. I was at my future home Corona Ranch visiting my friend Mark. Mark suggested that we get high so I said sure. Mark proceeded to roll three extremely fat joints. I didn't know anything about dope smoking at that point so little did I know that Mark only smoked premium marijuana and rolled fat joints. We smoke all three! Mark put on Electric Ladyland by Jimi Hendrix and started talking. I was pretty stoned and was trying to focus. I started feeling sick and thought I was going to pass out. It was only pot induced apnea, which is a temporary absence or cessation of breathing. So I took a deep breath and felt much better! Then Mark says, "Oh, you have got to see this!" He goes to a closet and takes out a box that is 2' long by 1' wide and about 1' deep. Inside this little gem was a crusty old rag, a stack of the nastiest porn magazines you have ever seen, and a large jar of Vaseline with a big four fingered scoop mark taken out of it. He says, "This.......... is Steve's." Steve was his roommate who I also knew from work. Archetypes for Steve are Norton on The Honeymooners, the character John Candy played in Planes, Trains, and Automobiles, and looked a bit like Ron Jeremy the porn star who is pictured here:



I was flabbergasted because not only was I stoned out of my mind, but the porn magazines were the type that come in a brown paper bag and costs around $50 or so. The one image that sticks in my mind to this very day is this ghastly pail looking 50 year old crack whore being sodomized by this huge black guy with a 12" cock. It was more than I could handle so I made Mark put it away. I was having trouble controlling the muscles in my legs and they kept knocking together. It started to rain outside because it was monsoon season and around 3:00 in the afternoon. Almost as soon as it started to rain the song Rainy Day Dream Away came on. Jimi starts talking and says this:


Hey man,
take a look out the window 'n' see what's happenin'
Hey man, it's rainin'
It's rainin' outside man
Aw, don't worry 'bout that
Everything's gonna be everything
We'll get into somethin' real nice you know
Sit back and groove on a rainy day
Yeah (tokes up) Ump...
Yeah I see what you mean brother, lay back and groove.

Jimi had come back to life and was talking to me. How did he know it was raining? Yes, it was going to be groovy wasn't it! Man, that was one of the most spiritual moments of my entire life. I was still a Christian back then too, so the Christians can save their mockery, I'm being totally honest about this. The whole atmosphere of being here:



in the foothills near the Santa Catalina Mountains during the monsoon with Hendrix playing in the background was just otherworldly. The old adobe wall behind the bride in the picture is all of what is left of where Mark and Steve lived, I would have been sitting just beyond that door. After Electric Ladyland was over Mark put on GESANG DER JÜNGLINGE (song of the youths) and KONTAKTE  (contacts) by Karlheinz Stockhausen. Mind fuck. The whole experience was just beyond wild. A couple of hours later I needed to get going and Mark had things to do so I got in my car. It was an automatic and I put it in 2nd gear instead of drive and drove for about six miles like that. Duh.... I haven't seen Mark in years. He inherited close to a million dollars. I know he blew through the first half of that in three years and I hope he was smarter with the second half of his money.

Tuesday, December 09, 2003

LOCKDOWN




When I got home yesterday my mother-in-law tells me I need to call Josie right away, the kids are not being let out of school. Wow, this is about and hour after they should have already been let out! I call Josie on her cell and she tells me that a bank got knocked over and the suspects are in the neighborhood of the School so it was being locked down for the kids safety, Josie was stuck as well being on campus. So Miranda was stuck inside for an hour and Brandon for almost two. Neither of them were scared so that is a good thing. Both bank robbers were caught.

IMPRISONED


Yes, I basically spent the last four days at work. Not much you can do when your scheduled for double shifts so many days in a row and really need the money. Very few moments to report over the past few days. Worked a brunch on Sunday for a bunch of old people. I saw the worse application of makeup by a human being ever. This lady must have been eighty something and had pale white makeup with bright red streaks across her cheeks. It was very clown like, almost a cruel joke upon herself. He husband was almost dead and started demanding cocktails! We were about 100 yards away from any bar and we just didn't have the capacity to run drinks all day. Other than that, I've basically been going through the paces of working, coming home and sleeping, taking a shower and starting the whole process over again. A blast, it was simply four days of working for the  man.

O.C.D.


I don't think I have obsessive compulsive disorders of any type but yesterday I think I did something bordering on compulsive. I took my computer keyboard apart, every key and washed them, and washed the board itself where the keys rest. Talk about vile! It's truly disgusting what can work it's way between the keys of your computer keyboard in three to four years. Lot's of hair, dust, and crumbs of all sorts. Why did I do all of this? Well, seeing that it was getting hard to type without some keys sticking, and being a bit poor at the moment and not wanting to spend $14 on a generic keyboard, I decided that it would be worth trying to clean this and make it work better. Well, it does so I'll take it as an extra $14 I can keep in my pocket for now. Took almost two hours by the way.

Thursday, December 04, 2003

TERMINAL BITCHINESS




Is it just my perception or are most older people just laden with bitchiness? Take for example the old lady at the doctors office this morning. The office ladies were scanning insurance cards because they have a new system that allows them to do it so that they have a digital document of it, and at the same time they were verifying peoples addresses. They asked this old hag if she was still at such and such address and she says in a wicked evil witch like tone, "What do you think, I've only lived there for the past six years!" I was so tempted to tell her to calm down but the whole waiting room was filled with senior citizens, or is the politically correct term "Old Americans?" Anyhow, I didn't need to start a riot and get my self caned to death for telling some old hag to calm the fuck down. Oh, I was down a pound from six months ago, so that means I gained weight this past six months, then lost it all plus a pound. I need to lay off the carbs and start eating better, that's a given. I also need to dust off the bike and get my heart going a bit. I need to lose about fifty pounds to be totally skinny, and I do mean skinny. Thirty pounds to be where I was before I got married and all sloppy. We shall see.

MONEY


Work will be busier that expected next week, which is a good thing! I'm so fucking broke it's not funny. Why? Because everything decided to break down all at the same time these past two months, fixed up a room for the mother-in-law, and I held Thanksgiving at my house, and bought too much Christmas related materials for my kids. I hate Christmas because society expects you to spend copious amounts of money on your kids. If you don't then your either a bad parent or a scrooge, or low income. Funny thing is that I'm none of these things. I'm not a Christian either, so I should be void of even giving a fuck about this whole holiday. The funniest difference between my kids and I is that I had to wait for Christmas to get cool stuff, and new clothes. My kids get cool shit and clothes all year long! The matrix has me by the balls, where the fuck is Morpheus?

Wednesday, December 03, 2003

SEBADOH




Thanks to DATA JOCKY for turning me on to some totally cool music I missed out on in the late 80's. I know absolutely nothing about this band but I dig the album I'm listening to right now. Thanks man, your the coolest!!!

BROKE


How broke? I have only overdrawn on my account once and that was back in 1985. Well, then and now. That's twice. Seeing how dead it's been at work and all the money I've pumped into this house, add in Thanksgiving and another mouth to feed and yes, I did it! I overlooked one bill and sent myself over the edge by $50, tack on another $25 for going over and there you have it! Let's not forget the few Christmas gifts I bought and buying Louie and Martin some beer. I'm a bona fide dumb ass. I'm blaming this one on Satan just because I'm stupid enough to do it.

PENIS


The word of the week is penis. I just can't get away from penis this week no matter how I try. It shows up in my e-mail, funny video clips I've seen on the web, television, news articles, my coffee, just everywhere. I literally had to beat mine into submission for not behaving properly earlier in the week. Penis, can't live with it, can't shove it in a co-workers face. Hmmmm....

QUEER-EYED




Anyone watch Queer-Eyed tonight? They were making over one of the male hosts of IMX that is on the music channel FUSE. Fuse is a million times better than MTV could ever hope to be, wake up MTV! Towards the end of the show they were showing him on on IMX showing off his new look. There was the lovely Juliya Chernetsky looking as beautiful as ever. Juliya is the hostess of Uranium and on IMX as well. She rocks, and I'm totally in lust with her. The guys on Queer-Eyed didn't care for her much. She still rocks!

Tuesday, December 02, 2003

NEW NEW NEW


I have to pay to keep the old comment box so fuck it! Here is a the old one I had, it's called SHOUT OUT. This is probably temporary.

I left out a part of the dream in the last post. There was a little dream where a guy was singing a song about corn flakes. My mind must be gone.

Monday, December 01, 2003

HO HO EH DER...... HO




All the retardation that Christmas brings is upon us! Not just a little bit, but a lot bit. The snowbirds have arrived in Tucson, traffic is insane even just to pick up the kids from school, and people are being crushed while shopping! Yes, did you read about this? Ah, nothing beats a $29 DVD player! I hate Christmas, I really do. It's nothing but commercialism glorified a million times over. I dig Halloween, but Christmas sucks. Sure, we still do the whole fake tree and lights and all of that for the kids, but I'd rather bypass the whole season. Bah humbug!

THE GREEN MILE


A friend just lent me this movie and I've watched it twice now. I really enjoyed it! After seeing a slew of horrible movies as of late it was good to see something of merit. Now I have to read the book! I quit reading Stephen King after MISERY came out, so there are a lot of his books I need to get and read. I kind of achieved that Stephen King burn out syndrome where you've just read so many of his books that it all starts to seem the same. So I have The Green Mile on deck, Insomnia is in the wings as well. What's your favorite horror novel? I'm curious, may be something I've missed and need to read. My personal favorite horror reads were The Exorcist by William Peter Blatty, The Stand by Stephen King, and Different Seasons by Stephen King. Three out of the four short stories in that book were made into movies. It's funny because I went to go see the movie Stand By Me without knowing anything about it when it came out. A friend stopped by on his way to the movies and asked if I wanted to tag along. So I hadn't heard anything about this movie, had never heard about it and yet as the movie progressed I had a sickening felling of deja vu that was freaking me out something fierce. It wasn't until the scene where the boy is telling a story about the pie eating contest that it dawned on me that it was a movie about The Body by Steven King. I think I got the same feeling the first time I watched Deep Throat.

DREAM


I felt real tired after cooking dinner this evening so I went to bed at six and woke up two hours later. I had a dream about my grandmother who just passed away. I was still living at Corona Ranch and my grandmother was coming to live with me. Grandad was still alive too and he said, "Hi, remember me?" It was very weird. Some of the best moments of my life were spent during the six years I lived at Corona ranch before it was turned into a bed and breakfast. My daughter was made there, my first sexual experience (with another person) was there. First time I smoked pot or dropped acid was there. I wish I could move back, and if I ever win the lottery I'm going to buy it! Remind me to tell you some stories about Steve sometime. There is a story about a box of nasty porno magazines, a crusty rag, and a large jar of Vaseline that had a huge scoop taken out of it with four fingers that goes along with my first visit to Corona Ranch where I was getting high for the first time. I'll write about it tomorrow, stay tuned!!! Oh, and go visit the web site that I linked to and check out the pictures. Truly a cool place!