Tuesday, July 24, 2018


So who needs friends? I guess we all do. I don't have a ton of friends these days. After my heart attack and then transplant I started to push people away. It was just easier to do that with all that was going on. I really began to see just how petty others are. Hey, I get it, we are all shitty in the long run, me included so I'm not being delusional or narcissist. But, the miles of crocodile  tears and false concern I had to wade through was astounding. People publicly crying about my condition were the first to display passive aggressive attitudes with snide comments. People you thought cared really didn't.

So, I just hit round three of trying to die this past few weeks. I survived but at what cost? It was a combination of things that caused this, but depression played into it deep. I feel isolated with no way out, or at least I was. I was bothered by the lack of concern from others on so many levels that I just didn't see why I should have any either. So called friends, family, associates, dealing with shitty insurance. It piled up and it got the best of me.

Today is a new day. I trudge on. Maybe it's time to make new friends and just say FUCK THE HATERS. It's my life, why should I care what shit people think. If you don't like me or my situation, then just stay the fuck away, you were never my friend anyway, no matter how you convinced yourself you were.