Do your self a favor and spend a few minutes and go to THIS SITE HERE! Pandora is like a radio station you tailor to your liking with c.d. quality music. You add the groups you like, and it will in turn add artist that are similar to what you have added. If you don't like it, give it a thumbs down and it remembers. You can also get ideas about similar artists you want to add, though this is more of a tedious task of backtracking to the add button. Over all, I'm stoked about my new tailored radio station. It's called Electronic Revolution Inc. and you can listen to it just buy clicking on it. Try it just to get a sense of what you can do with this powerful new web site! And make sure you register to unlock some useful tools, it's free. This is a 10 out of 10 rating as far as web sites go. ENJOY!!!
It's not always so easy to provide entertaining material here. Whether I'm blogging about how much I hate the current administration, my kids, the incredible sex I just had with my wife (yes it was a 9 out of a possible 10, a spanking would have put it over the top...), or even the ooccasional hilarious video you see here, it's not always an easy task. Today I'm strapped for material and yet the desire to blog about something is as strong as my desire to flog myself in the name of Allah draped in a flag,then setting my genitals on fire with the Star Spangled Banner playing in the background. Don't get me wrong, I'm not a religious zealot! This all would only be done in the name of art. I'm still working on this piece by the way, just a few minor adjustments and it will be choreographed perfectly. I'm not sure if I should be flogging my penis or setting it on fire, and same with the idea with the banner we have grown to know and worship as if it were a living breathing figment of our imaginations.
With all that said, let me stated that my stomach aches with such veracity that I did indeed call in sick to work today. I just can't imagine doing what I do and standing for a solid 8+ hours with this kind of stomach ache. Miranda was sick last night too so I think it may have been the sample of shrimp they were giving out at Costco that did it to us. My better judgment told me not to eat it, but my desire to eat shrimp told me that I should put aside any logical thought processes that may be running inside my head. Okay, I'll be quite now.
This is brilliant! And to think this guy doinked one of my girlfriends right after I broke up with her, no lie! Screw the seven degrees of kevin Bacon when I have the one point of Weird Al!! Top that bitches!!
It was 16 years ago yesterday that I was about as nervous as one could be. I didn't have the faintest idea on how do do anything in the form of parenting. 16 years later I think I pulled it off pretty well! Not only is she beautiful, she is smart as well. I'm very proud of you, HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!!!!!!
So what is the craziest part of my dreams from the past few nights, the CIA guy doing gymnastics with a tigers cub in his backpack at a nationally televised football game, Pamela Anderson talking on a giant four foot tall dildo phone, or Aliens assimilating everyone into random colored asexual gingerbread men? Yep, my dreams have been rather fucked up and odd this past week. I don't even know what to say!!! Oh, as a matter of fact, I DO:
My prediction is this, something major before the elections in November, and if not then, I would say right before the end of eight years of G. W. allowing him to extend his reign or even going as far as making this a police state. Call me crazy, but things are about as far in the red as you can get on the fucked up meter. You religious people have fucked up, stand down and admit it! It's not working. In fact, it will never work, ever. ADMIT IT!!! They have something major planned guys, and I have a sick feeling about it all. I live close to the boarder so I'm feeling extremely vulnerable. In conjunction with the first post about dreams, I have to say this, I have had major doomsday dreams over the past 15 years and most of them are dealing with a nuclear event. I've seen the mountains in town sliding into the valley, I've seen the nuclear infected satanic zombies roaming the earth, I've dreamt it all dozens of times. Crazy!?! Yeah, more than likely, but then again, this situation has been in the back of my mind effecting me for most of my life and it's always had a religious twist to it. I've always felt there was going to be a nuclear attack or war over religion. I'm feeling it stronger now than ever. Call me paranoid, go ahead and do it. But, just like pre-09/11 I have the same feeling. And it was just weeks before that I asked some internet friends of mine if they could feel something major happening. The answer from several of them was yes. Cognition, paranoia, or just educated guess? You be the judge....
When I think back to the music that most influenced my ideas on music, or how I approach it even, I think of several different artists. Here are some of the groups that have changed my way I think and feel about music all together. The first band ever was of course:
beatles. I am the Walrus
I can still remember being and my Grandma's house listening to a 45 RPM single of The Beatles thinking, "HOLY SHIT, THIS IS WHAT MUSIC IS SUPPOSED TO BE!!!!"
The next major change came around 1976. I "inherited" a 8-track from one of the neighbors down the street, a guy who was about seven years older than me.
Then the whole New Wave thing hit big, and this guy, of all of them, had the biggest influence on the way I think in terms of music, or how I approach it:
Gary Numan - Praying To The Aliens - Live
Later on, after I was living on my own as an adult, I remember reading a music review in People magazine of all places. It was talking about a band who does "audio sculpture." This, of all bands, deconstructed my views on music.
SKINNY PUPPY - human disease
Anyway, major groups listed here that had the most influence.
I wish I knew what was being said. It's obviously tragic, cause she is in a wheel chair and crying, but holy shit this makes me laugh every fucking time I see it, ad I swear I've watched it a good 20 times already.
To say that I don't love Sarah Silverman would be an utter George W. Bush league lie! I have been in love with Sarah for a long time, and this is why! Not to many chicks are on my level as far as mental illness is concerned.
This is in no way an attempt to make fun of retarded people. I have a nephew who is retarded, friends with downs syndrome kids, and I often have lunch with the mentally handicapped crew that does all the recycling for us at work. In fact, I just about peed myself (a common theme here) two days ago at work because of Ron. Ron is mentally handicapped but is genuinely hilarious! I went to change into a new uniform at work and passed by the bathroom where I could hear Ron in stall #1 giggling on and on. It got quiet, and he says,
"I'm going to hell..........."
Then the laughter started all over again. This process repeated itself a good four or five times while I was dressing. It was one of the funniest things I've heard in a long time, you really would have had to be there to get the gist of it, but I almost couldn't button my pants I was laughing so hard. I would liked to have hung around and ask Ron why he thought that it was so funny, or if someone had told him he was going to hell, but I needed to move on to the next catering function at work. Anyway, the moral of this story is this, if you have a chance, hang out with a mentally handicapped person sometime and get to know them!! They are real people, and you will never find any nicer non-judgmental people like this ever. I enjoy having lunch with these guys, always a treat. Oh, and boy do they know how to ROCK!!!!
I'm sick! I know!! I really find nothing sexy about Bukakke other than the word itself. The idea on the other hand repulses me just as much as scat, or food fetishes do. This song on the other hand not only rocks, but makes me laugh harder than Bob Hopes rotting carcass does.
Is it any wonder that I think the media is stark raving mad? Where else but in our own great country can you be the king of all assholes, get caught and get away with what you preach against and make millions of dollars at the same time? We know he's an addict who has a hard time getting a stiffy!
Fair and balanced my ass! Why don't you go fuck yourself!
Penis length, brain size or mental capacity? I vote for all the above! No spin zone!?!? Are you fucking kidding me? This guy is a pervert, you can tell by the amount of makeup he wears to make him look like he's still alive.
I overheard a Christian lady at a Christian breakfast gathering (I happened to be working) going on and on about how Ann Coulter was so smart and beautiful. Smart? Sure, I'll give here that. I'll also go on to say that she's the psychotic nazi love slave of Hitler. I'd fuck Limbaugh and Pat Robertson before I'd launch my scud missile upon her frozen tundra.
His asshole is so tight that when he speaks it's several octaves above normal. Narcissism, it's not just for breakfast anymore!!!! Fox really isn't fair and balanced, but it is bloated and full of dogmatic bullshit.
I don't know what scares me more, the fact that he is in direct contact with "god" or that his DNA matches
both Hitler and Ann Coulter Eva Braun!
I don't know what scares me more, the fact that he is in direct contact with "god" or that he really belives one of the Teletubbies is gay! I'm beginning to think god has some pretty fucked up ideas...
I feel like I'm Tom Parsons in Orwell's 1984. My kids will surely turn me in for the treasonous act of thought crime, or am I really Winston Smith? I'd say Smith because I see what is going on, and I'm not the mindless dullard that Parsons was. All in all, I'm sure my vacation in room 101 will be a delightful montage of rats, lacerations, champagne enemas, and blunt force trauma unmatched by any game show that Merv Griffin could ever assemble. There is so much more I could have included in this post but I want you to be able to ingest it in a relatively short period of time.
So I guess what happened in this story is that one of these guys:
Stuck one of these:
Into one of these:
Directly into his heart! Freak accident. I'm sure the odds are like a million in one that that could even remotely ever happen!! I knew this guy would end up dead someday from an injury inflicted from his line of work but I always figured it would be from an alligator or snake of some kind. I feel bad cause I know he has small children, but then again, how great is it to die doing what you love and believe in so much! No, I'm not talking martyrdom either.
I look at my daily statistics every day and find that people find their way here searching for free porn! Well, I'm going to provide it for you for the first time ever!!! Look at it, all hot and sweaty, doggie style, on the floor, under the table full on with a gerbil for a touch of unbridled lovemaking that you won't find on any blog page. Pure animal magnetism served up hot and fresh!! Wow, with that said I think I'll go order me some McDonalds. They serve up fruit just the way you like it there now. Maybe not hot and fresh but after a session like that what's better than a blond chick eating a banana? If you say an Asian scat video, I'll beat the shit out of you! Wait, that didn't sound right....
I stayed up till 5:00 a.m. watching this. Holy fuck! I'm going to give it five stars out of four purely for the shock factor!. I never saw the original so I had no idea what would happen. Yes, I know I said five out of four, don't be retarded. It's as brutal as a hack flick gets but it's not your run of the mill teen gore movie, as a matter of fact, it's not even close. Don't rent this if your upset easily. If your a fan of movies like the original Texas Chainsaw Massacre then this will be righ up your ally. A whole lot of blood, gore, cannibalism, and mutants to excite any right wing conservative Christian.