Monday, November 24, 2003


Why is it that everybody assumes that I'm a god fearing Christian? Is it that I look the part? I'm very confused about this and I don't like telling people that I'm an atheist mid conversation, because then the conversation either ends or turns into a religious discussion. I'm not afraid of telling people about this, I'm just speaking on a level where someone who really doesn't know me well just assumes I'm religious, even when I've never mentioned anything about Jesus or god or who ever. So, people need not to be surprised when I tell them I'm not hip to Jesus and what people think he stands for. I'm not an evil person, I don't kill babies or worship the devil, I'm just a human, same as everyone else. If your going to the candy store when you check out, fine, just don't don't send me to the microwave oven for eternity because I refuse to believe in something that doesn't exist.


Today was one of those "WTF?" kind of days. Got up late because it was Sunday and nobody had to work or go to school. That was great! Even got a little if you know what I mean! That was great too!! Then it all went down hill from there, and I'm blaming Brandon for the most part. He was in one of those "I'm a fucking spaz and I'm out of control" moods. Josie warned him about fifty million times to settle down. Didn't work. She asked me to take control of the situation and I told her that if I did and he didn't listen I was going to spank him. Well, fifty million more times of asking him to mellow out didn't work, even after I cooked him brunch. He continued to bounce off the walls until he got the idea that he was going to heat up a bread stick in the microwave for three minutes on a paper plate. One small fire and a house full of smoke was all it took to break the camels back. I got mad and he got sent to his room where he threw a fit and I got mad at him again. I guess Josie didn't want me to handle the situation after all because sending him to his room after he almost burnt the house down was being mean to him. We're talking sending someone to their room to chill, not a beating! So she started yelling at me and I said, "FUCK IT, I'm out of here." So I got dressed, got in my car and took off for the next five hours. I went out and had some drinks, went to the mall, and to best buy. Was going to go see a movie but nothing was starting soon enough when I got there. I'm such a light weight that after drinking four beers in three hours and walking it off for the next two I basically fell asleep after I got home. I ate first, but I was out by seven. Well, now I'm up and it's three in the morning typing this shit out. I've got a meeting at 10:30 a.m. and I have a feeling it's going to be ugly.


My grandmother is on her death bed, I'll try and write about her tomorrow. I can still smell her kitchen even though it's been years since I've been it it. She made the best ham and beans anyone could possibly make. I love her and I'm sad that her body is shutting down.

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