Monday, November 17, 2003


It's been a while since I've had a weird dream or nightmare or whatever you want to call it but after taking the kids to school today I went back to bed and woke up at noon after having this dream:

I went to see my physician Dr. Perrian in my dream. I was feeling weak and had been breaking out with cold sores and some lesions on my face. After feeling the glands under my chin he tells me I'm going to die. I get one of those tunnel effects like in a horror movie when something bad has happened and I'm totally thrown for a loop. I start sobbing and can't believe I'm actually going to die. I ask how long I have left and he tells me it's less than a month. Now I really loose it. I start explaining how Josie won't be able to do things without me, I don't want to leave my kids behind. He's trying to console me and takes me to a special room that is like a bedroom that he stays in when he's working late but it's not working. He asks me if I know what caused this form of lymphatic cancer. I say no and then he goes on to tell me it's from eating Three Musketeers candy bars. I have a hard time understanding how I could eat so few of these and be effected like this. All of a sudden I'm at Harrison Hills (now Pantano Vista) mobile home park where I used to live before the new millennium. The home we live in is very nice, not the same one I lived in but in the same lot. I've told Josie I'm going to die and she is taking it like it's no big deal. I have relatives over eating and hanging out and I just can't be inside with them so I go for a walk. I'm crying the whole time and I work up the courage to go back. I find a younger version of Brandon and tell him I love him and ask him if he understands that. He tells me yes. This woke me up instantly.

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