Had Lucky Wishbone chicken last night. Damn, I loves me some Lucky Wishbone chicken! Chicken, garlic toast, french fries, and jalapeno peppers, talk about orgasmic! If you don't live in Tucson and have never had it, your missing out. If you live in Tucson and don't like it, your missing out. No Viki, I'm not trying to make you home sick, I promise! I know you have all heard me rant about Lucky Wishbone before, and it won't be the last!
VASELINE AND SMOKING POT
Here is the story I promised about a week ago. It was late July or early August 1985 during monsoon season and I had only smoked pot once before but I was pretty drunk when I had done it. I was at my future home Corona Ranch visiting my friend Mark. Mark suggested that we get high so I said sure. Mark proceeded to roll three extremely fat joints. I didn't know anything about dope smoking at that point so little did I know that Mark only smoked premium marijuana and rolled fat joints. We smoke all three! Mark put on Electric Ladyland by Jimi Hendrix and started talking. I was pretty stoned and was trying to focus. I started feeling sick and thought I was going to pass out. It was only pot induced apnea, which is a temporary absence or cessation of breathing. So I took a deep breath and felt much better! Then Mark says, "Oh, you have got to see this!" He goes to a closet and takes out a box that is 2' long by 1' wide and about 1' deep. Inside this little gem was a crusty old rag, a stack of the nastiest porn magazines you have ever seen, and a large jar of Vaseline with a big four fingered scoop mark taken out of it. He says, "This.......... is Steve's." Steve was his roommate who I also knew from work. Archetypes for Steve are Norton on The Honeymooners, the character John Candy played in Planes, Trains, and Automobiles, and looked a bit like Ron Jeremy the porn star who is pictured here:
I was flabbergasted because not only was I stoned out of my mind, but the porn magazines were the type that come in a brown paper bag and costs around $50 or so. The one image that sticks in my mind to this very day is this ghastly pail looking 50 year old crack whore being sodomized by this huge black guy with a 12" cock. It was more than I could handle so I made Mark put it away. I was having trouble controlling the muscles in my legs and they kept knocking together. It started to rain outside because it was monsoon season and around 3:00 in the afternoon. Almost as soon as it started to rain the song Rainy Day Dream Away came on. Jimi starts talking and says this:
take a look out the window 'n' see what's happenin'
Hey man, it's rainin'
It's rainin' outside man
Aw, don't worry 'bout that
Everything's gonna be everything
We'll get into somethin' real nice you know
Sit back and groove on a rainy day
Yeah (tokes up) Ump...
Yeah I see what you mean brother, lay back and groove.
Jimi had come back to life and was talking to me. How did he know it was raining? Yes, it was going to be groovy wasn't it! Man, that was one of the most spiritual moments of my entire life. I was still a Christian back then too, so the Christians can save their mockery, I'm being totally honest about this. The whole atmosphere of being here:
in the foothills near the Santa Catalina Mountains during the monsoon with Hendrix playing in the background was just otherworldly. The old adobe wall behind the bride in the picture is all of what is left of where Mark and Steve lived, I would have been sitting just beyond that door. After Electric Ladyland was over Mark put on GESANG DER JÜNGLINGE (song of the youths) and KONTAKTE (contacts) by Karlheinz Stockhausen. Mind fuck. The whole experience was just beyond wild. A couple of hours later I needed to get going and Mark had things to do so I got in my car. It was an automatic and I put it in 2nd gear instead of drive and drove for about six miles like that. Duh.... I haven't seen Mark in years. He inherited close to a million dollars. I know he blew through the first half of that in three years and I hope he was smarter with the second half of his money.