Monday, July 14, 2003

Praise Cheese Sauce!!



Deion Sanders just scored a touchdown for Jesus. Oh, it never ceases to amaze me what crazy shit people will do in the name of their poor latinized messiah. The story goes like this, Deion has his 1961 Lincoln Continental convertible taken in to be fixed where he racks up a bill just over $4200. When the car is delivered to the Sanders residence his wife takes the keys and the invoices for the work done and walks into her home and doesn't come back out. Then his bodyguards and housekeepers move their cars around his newly repaired convertible so they can't tow it back. When Sanders pulls up and takes a look at the invoice he writes out a check for $1500 and writes the following: "Praise Jesus, I follow what in my heart I'm told to pay." So, in my heart I'm told I'm to be procreating with hot Asian chicks, but Josie would kick my ass if I even expressed my interest to fulfill gods plan for me. Seriously Deion, give me a break you cheap ass bastard!


SLEEPWALKING


Brandon has a new pastime, and he seems to be doing it mostly around two or three in the morning. He's suddenly become a sleepwalker! Two nights ago Brandon got up then came in and turned on the television in our room. He stood in the corner for a few seconds then he went into our bathroom, climbed up on the toilet, then stared into the sink. We asked him what he though he was doing but he had no clue. We sent him back to bed and he went back to sleep. Last night Brandon does the same thing, he walks over to the television and turns it on. He then walks out to the kitchen and gets the milk out of the refrigerator and starts pouring it on the floor. Josie had just waxed the floor that morning so she got pretty angry about that little stunt. Again he was asked what he was doing and he didn't know. I asked him a little bit ago why he has been doing it and he told me because he loved sleepwalking, and that it was his job. I informed him it doesn't pay well.


TUCSON BBQ


If you've ever been to Tucson in the summer then you know what people mean when they say "fucking hot!" Well, it's been real fucking hot in Tucson, and it seems to behoove morons to leave their children behind and locked inside their vehicles. There have been about four cases these past two weeks where people have done this. It's been around 109ยบF and I can only imagine how hot it gets inside a locked vehicle. A couple of these kids have baked to death because of this. I just can't understand this, it's beyond me.


THE PARK


Brandon is demanding we go to the park. It's just too hot, so I'm going to surprise him and take him to McDonalds instead. Air-conditioned play gym and chocolate shakes! It's better than crack cocaine or even your favorite bukkake video! Got to go!!


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