Wednesday, May 19, 2004


Small clip of the kids I made with a bad web cam and my new computer!




Wow, I'll say it again, WOW! Last night was as surreal and unorthodox as it gets. First thing was that the function I worked just happened to be a working dinner meeting for a local medical group and pharmaceutical company. We were expecting the pharmaceutical representatives to get  up and sell their product but we had no idea what the drug or topic would be. Well, we started putting down salads and dressing them for the client as they came it. The  group was only about twenty people. One lady came in smelling like yesterdays shrimp cocktail that had sat out in the sun all day. ICK! So I prayed she would sit down and politely consider a nice douche. She sat down and I have no idea if she considered the douche or not. The presentation begins, and what they were selling is some kind of estrogen therapy and a new type of vaginally inserted birth control device. That's fine, no one likes a vagina more than I do, but the graphic nature of the dialog that ensued was kind of, I don't know, inappropriate for dinner banter. All was fine and dandy, vagina this and vagina that, dry vagina, wet vagina, bloody vagina, and then a power outage. All went dark. Things were strange enough with pouring people glasses of wine while some 50 something lady talked about everybody's vagina, but then the power outage happened. I even looked around at one point to see where the hidden cameras could be and how long it would be before Allen Funt came around the corner but the power came back on and things were returned back to not so normal. The salad got picked up and we moved on to the entree. More dry vaginas were discussed as well as libido and rubbing viagra cream on ones skin to get you "there" as I drizzled a chile orange reduction sauce atop the filet of beef being served. All of a sudden the speaker started talking about inspecting ones vagina in great detail and talked about how just this very morning she had got out one of her little compact mirrors and inspected...... At that point Shaun and I hightailed it out of the room. It was already a Saturday Night Live skit gone awry but this had topped the cake. Shaun and I giggled like little schoolgirls in the back pantry as their discussion progressed. We made a pact that we were not going back in there until it was time for desert. That portion of the evening had concluded and we went in to clear the room and set up their little desert buffet. In the process one of the ladies came up to me and asked if I had learned anything. In my best Jerry Lewis voice I replied, "BOY! Did I!!" They loaded up on the deserts and proceeded to form small discussion groups. I was on my way out of the room and happened to over hear a sixty year old woman say, "I've noticed that while I insert this into my own vagina I..." I exited the room and didn't go back in.

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