DUBLEYAH

It's sickening that the powers that be are censoring Michael Moore's latest movie because it shows you know who for who he is. Wouldn't want to mess up our tax breaks, would we? Free speech, yeah. So that's the reason we need to keep this buffoon in office? Things have just been peachy since he got into office, and they are getting so much better. I'll stop there, not going to make this a political blog, there are enough of those out there. I'm so sick of the right wing pushing their ideals on us. I spit on your pseudo morality, false fucking half wits! What does W have up his sleeve? He's going to pull something real soon, mark my words!

I BROKE FREE

I called in sick yesterday and I got canceled off of work for today. I was a mess yesterday! An ear infection had my equilibrium all messed up and I couldn't hear well or stand for very long. I slept till 2:00 p.m. as well. The antibiotics kicked in today though and I feel better. So I ended up with three days off and got some rest. I'm so glad I got some time off from work and was able to watch a movie with the kids at home tonight. There are still some nasty days up ahead though. At least I'll have money this summer when there isn't any work at all. Then you'll all have to listen to me bitch about being bored and poor.

THE DEVIL

My wife has been possessed by the devil! A very naughty devil that is!! I have no idea what has gotten into her but I like it what ever it is. Maybe I should stay away from home more often. Very naughty indeed!

ON AND ON.....

Work has still been busier than I would have like it to be. I even kicked two shifts and ended up with almost 60 hours. The combination of long hours and the general environment at work has sucked the life from me, not to mention that the mesquite pollen made me violently ill as well. The doctor gave me a shot of cortisone and that has helped tremendously. Brandon has been getting into some trouble at school all of a sudden. I think he's acting out because I haven't been around the past few weeks. It isn't going to let up until after Mothers Day. Anyway, I'm officially cooked. I need a night out or something. I'll promise to write more on here soon, I just need to get some free time back.

I'M STILL HERE

Oh, it's over! That stretch that nearly killed me at work is finally over! I put in way too many hours at work last week. I feel ill and spent. The mesquite trees pollinating isn't helping things either. I feel like I got ran over just after I smoked about 10 packs of cigarettes. Tonight is the last function of this group that has been in house for the past two weeks. It's been good money but I'm glad to see them go. I want some semblance of freedom back in my life. I want a full day off.

DREAM WEIRDNESS

It's been a weird road down dreamland. Lot's of Christian tainted dreams as of late. Also a butt load of doomsday dreams. One of the dreams I had a couple of nights ago was a nuclear blast that caused parts of the mountains to skid into Tucson and wipe out entire city blocks. I just kind of calmly stood by and thought that this isn't a good thing.

WHAT'S THAT?

Take a look at the Interactive Multi-Lingual Demo. Type in sentences and the computer will speak it back to you. Pretty funny! You can even have it speak in Spanish. I've been calling my friends and leaving weird messages on their phone machines.

NEAR DEATH

Got some sleep last night. This working from 4:15 a.m. to 11:00 p.m. is for the birds. This better be one hell of a tip pool. We have a lot of groups spending a ton of money so it's got to be a good one. The sad thing is that I jump right back into this working all day thing again in about six hours. I will get to sleep Saturday night though. Next week is going to be brutal as well. It's good though, it wasn't so long I was typing here about how poor we were getting from lack of business.

DREAM WEIRDNESS

All my dreams were off the wall last night. The only one I can recall is the one were I was sitting in this huge church with my family. The sermon was about transsexuals and how their sin would damn them to hell. There was a moment of silence and I yell out, "Knock knock!" The preacher asks, "Who's at the door?" I answer back, "I'm a transsexual, can I please come in." Everyone was embarrassed and I was asked to explain why I did this. I told them how hypocritical they all were and they needed to let transsexuals attend their church. This lack of sleep is messing me up mentally.

FUCK ME FREDDY!

Triple shift #1, I'm toast. I have a triple shift tomorrow. I can't imagine how they expect us to do a good job at work in these conditions. So be it. I'm only as good as I can be. Tomorrow I'm going to suck, Wednesday I'll be shit. I worked with the new little Japanese girl tonight. Holy shit! I just gave up at one point. She has no clue what she is doing. I'm off to bed to get my three hours of sleep. I'm toast......

PIMA COUNTY FAIR

Went the fair two nights ago! As you can see it was pretty empty. This picture didn't come out so well either. Opening night isn't the prime night to go I guess. Brandon went on some rides, Miranda didn't want to do anything. We ate nasty food that gave me the shits real bad. We actually ate in the employee area, it was pretty funny. They didn't kick us out and they sold us discount sodas. I ran into a girl I used to work with at Ventana Canyon Resort about 13 years ago. Her name is Robin and she was operating the Karaoke machine in the beer garden. Too funny!

WORK AND HELL

I have more shifts to work starting tomorrow than I've ever had before. I have to be back to work in less than five hours so I won't be sleeping a whole lot tonight. I will be sleeping tomorrow in the afternoon because it will be the last chance for me to get more than a couple of hours sleep until Wednesday! I have a feeling some people will either drop dead at work or get fired this coming week. One of the people I thought would get fired before now almost did the job today. I'm hoping next week is the week this person does themselves in. I will post as often as I can this week. Oh, it's going to be ugly!

D DAY

Spent Tuesday (my day off) with Dennis. First time I've spent any time with him since he got fired. We had a good time shooting the shit, went bowling and I bowled horribly. I bowled 118 for my first and last games and 126 for the middle game. Horrible. I blame my posture for most of it, and the lanes were too oily and I couldn't get my ball to hook properly. Then we went to the mall to people watch and look around at Boarders. I bought Stephen Kings Dream Catcher and The Green Mile. We ate over priced mall Chinese food, that sucked, then I had to run home and pick up Brandon from School. Then it was off to take Josie to see the Doctor for a routine checkup. He's my doctor as well and gave me a lecture on being overweight and eating smaller portions. I know all of this already, I know I'm overweight, I know I don't exercise enough, I know all of this. Hey, I work around food all day just about every day. It's great food too, it's not your run of the mill hotel food, or even resort food as far as it goes. The food at work is excellent, my wife doesn't cook so I enjoy great food that I don't have to cook when I have the opportunity! I do need to loose weight though.

MILITARY

Who out there is reading this blog that is in the military? I keep getting hits on this blog from a navy computer. Identify yourself!

MORE AND MORE DREAM WEIRDNESS

The weird dreams continue. I was trying to find a clock in my dreams the other night and every time I did the time read different. Spent a long time doing this. Also had a dream where they were making porn movies. The deeper my sleep was the better the movies were, every time I was about to wake up they lessened in quality. Now, there wasn't any porn action in this dream, they were printing the movies to sell. Weird. I will say this one thing, I'm friends with a lot of hot chicks in the dream world, so I've got that going for me.

HAPPY DAY OF
THE LIVING DEAD

Was it Jesus who came back from the dead or was it this guy? Isn't he dead yet? Man, it's got to be check out time, seriously! This is one of the last people I'd hand my kid over to. That poor little kid.

TUCSON DRIVERS SUCK

I've almost gotten into serious accidents twice in the past two days. Last night I was driving home from work and some asshole with California license plates cuts me off and almost causes me to smash into the median. I was going to post his plate here but I got back at that fucker. I got ahead of him at the next light then slowed down and wouldn't let him pass. I know I got back at him because he tried to follow me home after that. Good fun. Then on the way home today I'm going down far north Craycroft heading south. There is only two lanes and some fuckoff thought it was a good time to pass a car and came at me head on. I had to hit my breaks and go into the dirt or it would have been a head on collision. I so wish I could have turned around and followed that car to the next light! Some motherfucker would have gotten bitch slapped!

DREAM WEIRDNESS

Make it stop! What in the fuck do these aliens want? It's been just about every night as of late. Very weird dreams, too weird to post.. No, no anal probing or anything like that, more like end of the world stuff.

FRESH HOLES

So the FCC is turning into Big Brother. They don't want Howard Stern talking about minty fresh pie holes or anal sex. George Bush and his ilk are using the FCC to play the part of Big Brother, how lovely. And to think that a little nipple started this landslide. I can't believe there are so many people that are offended over this shit. Hell, why don't you all just crawl in a hole with your bibles and wait for the end? Wouldn't it all be better that way? I'm tired of this bullshit pseudo morality. If you don't like it, turn the goddamned channel! It's a lot like my blog, if I offend you then you shouldn't be reading this because I'm one of the godless heathens. You might be lead astray by reading this and you will die a nasty eternity in a fiery pit created by a loving god. Now nobody take that personal! That's only directed at the frightened rabble.  If I were Howard I'd move to satellite and internet radio.

DREAM WEIRDNESS

Boy, very weird. I dreamt that I was sucking up to the cooperate heads over at FUSE for some reason? Maybe it's because I want Juliya Chernetsky in a big way and this was the only way to get her. Who knows. I also had a dream that Paul Numan and James Cahn were in a new movie. They were wearing facials and talking about canning. Now, either I've fucking lost it or I'm being forced to watch way too much Lifetime for women television. The gray aliens have been at the center of my dreams a lot as well.

UNDER CONSTRUCTION

We started ripping out all of the carpet and chiseling out the old 1950's style tile that cascades throughout the house underneath it. Ugly, ugly tile! It's this horrid gray color with speckles in it. Ugly! We bought a southwest style of ceramic tile that is going to be placed down and make the house look a whole lot nicer. So we are going to live in a construction zone for the next couple of months. Josie has no idea what she has gotten herself into.

WTF?

In traffic yesterday I look over and this skinny bearded guy next to me at a red light is simulating oral sex on a straw. What in the hell is that all about? Seriously! I wanted to yell something out my window but I was too flabbergasted to say anything.

LUNCH

I'm invited to a luncheon with the managers of the resort on Friday. I'm being recognized for something, not sure what just yet but I have an idea. I will write about it after the fact.

DICK

Found this song DICK IS A KILLER via Idle Type, one of my favorite blogs. It's the President doing the vocals for this nifty little dance tune. Funny how you can manipulate words and phrases to say entirely different things. Anyway, the song came from THIS web site.

TIRED

Lack of sleep, you know all about it if you have been reading this blog for a while. It's 10:00 a.m. and I'm going to go take a nap.

THAT'S WHAT YOU GET

I'm laughing my ass off at CNN, FOX, and MSNBC for spending hours on this story about Audrey Seiler being abducted. It serves them right for exploiting the hardship being experienced by everyday people. I'm sick of the breaking news attitude adopted by the media in the United States. I'd say 95% of the time their breaking news is pure crap! Audrey Seiler your a loony, but your my hero!

WAR

The war at work trudges on but I'm keeping my mouth shut and my nose clean. I'm going to let the nasty people do themselves in. They are doing a good job of it.

RAIN

We are being pelted with rain! It's chilly, it's rainy, and this should keep me from having to work outside tomorrow. Thank you mother nature!

BREAKING NEWS!

I'm done posting for today. I'm going to go take a shit now, film at 11:00!!!

CLICK LINK BELOW TO GO TO CURRENT PAGE!

CLICK HERE!!!!!

Click above to find MY BLOG PAGE!!!

57 WAYS TO LEAVE YOUR LOVER

It's hard to use ketchup or even Heinz 57 sauce because of my dad. Every time I went to use either of these lovely condiments I got a lecture about how to properly extrude these substances from their glass containers. Not almost every time, but EVERY time! If you were here I would show you how to do it, but your not so try and imagine if you can me holding a bottle of ketchup a little less than horizontally. Now, hit the bottle in the side facing down, NO! NOT LIKE THAT! I'm happy as hell my dad wasn't around while I was wiping my ass because I don't think I could have done that right either.

ROCK STAR UPDATE

Miranda is playing with the guitar quite a bit. Lessons will be in order soon. It's getting to the point where headphones will be necessary soon because the same notes being played over and over are almost maddening!

THE PASSION

I'm listening to audio tracts taken from the movie on a radio show. I'm failing to see anything passionate about knocking the shit out of someone. I'm thinking of making a short film of myself taking a dump and calling it THE CANDY STORE.

SMALL TOWN, USA

This is a picture of people in the town where I grew up in Nebraska. Is it any wonder I almost went mad? Take a gander at the modern style and fashion. Even after 20 years of not living there I'm still thankful I took a gamble and moved to Tucson without ever being here before. It paid off!

ROCK GODDESS

Look at what Miranda got yesterday!  I'm investing in my retirement. She makes it real big, I get to retire early.

STICKY FINGERS J. ICE

That's my new pimp name. This page here is where I was given my new name. I found it via the blog called Idle Type which you can find on my blogroll. J. Ice in the hizzouse!

DREAM WEIRDNESS

I'm dreaming about work a lot again. Two nights ago I was stuck on Grant Rd. where the old TanqueVerde swap meet used to be and this caravan of East-Indian people were looking for rides. They were being transported on two large flatbed trucks which had both broken down. I tell them I'm going two blocks, they want rides to New York. So all of a sudden we are on walkie-talkies calling out for 47-Gary. That's radio talk from work. I was in dream land trying to hail a banquet captain for help. I'm loosing it! Then last night I dreamt I was at a meeting with the General Manager and some of my co-workers. I went to say something and the evil ones tried to talk over me. I just talked louder and ended up in the front of the room giving a speech. The GM was sympathetic with me but told me later on in the dream that there was nothing he could do about the nasty ones. I knew I had to do something about all of this.

WTF?

I'm horny and craving roast beef! What in hells great name is this all about?

THIS IS AN OLD POST, FOLLOW NEW LINK!!

CLICK HERE!!!

ROCK

Miranda wants an electric guitar. She totally wants to do the rock 'n roll chick thing. I told her that she needs to learn to play that thing, get really good then find three other chicks to form a band and I'll front it. I've got the heavy metal voice and how many bands out there have four teen age chicks in a band being fronted by an old bald white guy? It's got to work! We'll call ourselves GRANDDAD AND THE STEPSISTERS or something like that. We're going to be famous! Bring on the champagne and hot chicks!!!

WHAT THE....?

I'm truly baffled! The number of people visiting this page daily dropped sharply about two weeks ago. I was lucky if 20 even stopped by for a glance, and it even dropped down around 10 quite a few times. Now, all of a sudden the hits are back up to around 50 or so a day. Weird.

BRAIN DEAD

Yesterday I had a humorous post dreamt up for today. Today I can't for the life of me remember what it was. Only thing I can remember was that it involved my dad when I was younger. I've tried to remember what it was all day to the point where I'm almost going mad. Total brain fart, I can't remember....

FREEDOM

I made it out for a change! Went out and ate sushi, had some drinks, and even talked the band that was playing into letting me get up on stage with them and they let me sing a song! It was totally rad I tell you! I got great props from the people at the bar as well, even though it didn't go as well as I had hoped. My friends said I kicked ass. Then I started feeling real sick. May have been the wasabi interacting with the alcohol plus I smoked a few cigarettes (I don't smoke often) on top of all of that. So, I went home and did the Pepto thing and fell asleep. I think all the Tucson bloggers should get together and do Karaoke one of these nights. Oh, it was also Josie's birthday! I got her a nice arrangement of flowers, a card, and $30. She was pissed off that I didn't take her out anywhere. I told her she was lucky that I even got her anything seeing she hasn't even told me Happy Birthday in years, let alone gotten me anything. Sushi, motherfuckers!

DREAM WEIRDNESS

Twice now I have dreamt that Josie and I are at the adult store. Nothing really happens, just browsing. The funny thing is that Josie would never go into a place like that even if you paid her! Been dreaming about the greys (aliens) again.

WORK

It's going to slow down this week so I have a chance to write here. We have a cast of new on-call workers that is breathing some life into the department. I also have something new on the horizon at work, will type about it when it comes about. I also thanked one of the guest for being at the resort. I do it all of the time, thank them for their business. I guess this impressed one of the meeting planners for the group that was just in house dropping loads of money. So I got some positive feedback from management. It's still weird at work with the people getting fired recently. I have very little to say to some people. I'm mainly only speaking to people I consider my friends at work. There are two people I try to avoid at all costs now. I have a gut feeling things are going to get much better there soon.

I TURNED INTO MY DAD!

It's true, I'm my dad now. I repeat all the things I hated my dad saying to me as a child. I have the same temperament as well. Josie calls me by my dads name a lot because she even noticed this. My brothers have said the same thing. How did this happen? I on the other hand am still a rock and roller through and through. I'm still a huge metal head. I'm going to be a scary old man, shitting himself and listening to metal. Euthanasia better be legal when I'm older.

BEST BUY

What's up with the hot black chick following me around at Best Buy? She wasn't the prettiest thing in the world but man was she built for speed, and she was following me around the store.  I'm serious, maybe she digs older white dudes, or maybe she caught me checker her out and enjoyed the attention. It was weird. I was buying GameCube stuff, there she is. I walk over to the DVD section, there she is. Car Stereo, there she is. Even followed me to the check out line where she proceeded to whip out a large roll of $100 bills. That whole trip to Best Buy was just weird.

AFTER THE FALL

Talking to Dennis as I type this, pretty negative chat. He's thinking about working in a book store or someplace quiet. I'm also finding out how hard it is to type and talk at the same time. Funny how things work at my place of employment. The shit stirrers get treated well and the hard workers get shit on. Life is grand.

CALLING DR. LOVE

I know I should call Dennis seeing he got fired a few days ago but I'm going to hold off. I have enough to worry about and think about without listening to him go over the same thing about seven times or more in one conversation. He's one of these people who will beat a subject to death even when you said your going to hang up now and then keep you on the line another 30 minutes. I think it sucks that he got fired, and I think the people who headed up this little lynch mob are vindictive, but one has to watch what they say and who they say it in front of. I'm being super quiet at work and not saying a whole bunch. Tomorrow is a departmental meeting and I'm sure the shit will hit the fan in one way or another. A lot of things are going to swing in my direction, but in a positive way. It's time things change for the better at work.

COVER SONGS

These are a few songs I'd like to hear famous people cover, even if some of them are dead:

Bob Dylan - Karma Chameleon
(Culture Club)

Ethel Merman - Whole Lotta Love
(Led Zeppelin)

Jimmy Swaggart - Rubber Biscuit
(The Chips)

Tiny Tim - I Wanna Dance With Some Body
(Whitny Houston)

Carol Channing - Hey Ya!
(Outkast)

This summary is not available. Please click here to view the post.

ALL OUT WAR

It's war at work now. It's an all out power struggle against the old faction and they are going down. Things are unbearable there and I'm being forced to basically live there at the same time. I'm making lots of money so that's alight. One of the alcoholic drug addicts decided to get in my business yesterday, this person is a repeat offender and is going down next. Wish I could say more but I can't. We had one person fired last week, more to come soon. I'm hanging in there, and it's not pretty.

FUNNY STUFF

It's hard to remember the funny things that have been happening because of the immensity of the negativity at work. Some guest with funny names this past few weeks were Mike Hunt and Ed Zeppelin. I'm not making this up. Two nights ago while offering coffee to people a gentleman asked if he could get some tea. I asked if he had any preference and he said he liked the hot Asian type. I told him I like hot Asians too, but was curious about the kind of tea he wanted. This guy about fell off his chair from laughter. There is a ton more but I'm tired and have almost zero recall. I need to start writing this down at work as it happens.

UPDATE!!

My best friend at work just got fired!!!!!! This is getting scary!!!!

BLOG

Maybe I'm just tired but the desire to keep this blog going is waning. If you read this blog, please give me some good reasons to keep it going! I'm having trouble finding any myself.

I KNOW WHERE WALDO CHUMLEY IS!

Anyone remember the post last year from June 24th? Well, it's taken quite a while but the drug addict known as Chumley did himself in today. I don't know what he was on but security had to escort him off property and he refused a drug test. I called it when I said it was going to be a rough year. Two of the drug addicts from that post are gone, two more to go. Tomorrow is the triple shift from hell that everyone is upset about. I'm going to take it all very slow. Life goes on. I'm already tired as hell, but this tip pool is going to rock! HELP ME!

LOW

This hits on this page are at an all time low. People like it better when I talk about masturbation and stuff like that. I don't know why but but the last time I talked about that subject my hits went up for two weeks. I know most guys do the mambo but a lot of girls either don't do it or are afraid to admit it. Why are we all still so afraid of sex? Anyway, most people have some kind of fetish. Mine happens to be Goth Asian Women in stockings




like you all wanted to know.

TIRED

I'm tired, I'm living at work, it's busy, that's good and bad. The money is great so I won't bitch. Drama at work is on overdrive, so over the top that one of the old ladies caused herself to have a heart attack! So how do you deal with it? Well, the gossip league seems to think our boss caused it but it's the simple fact that she isn't a healthy person. The schedule for work came out and we are busy as hell, this person is on a hour restriction due to bad health, on the day where every body is working three shifts she got scheduled for a triple, but in three hour shifts. So she has to work nine hours where the rest of us have to work at least 17. Some of the other old ones got her riled up and she had either a mild stroke or heart attack. My advice is that it's time to move on. If I were that ill I would find something that isn't going to kill me. There are a lot of people who need to move on. One of my best friends at work is one of those people, and he has been saying it himself. So I would say, GO! I'm tired of the drama, it used to be such a fun place to work. I have faith that it can be that way again someday. Maybe I will work some magic and win the lottery. Maybe I'm so tired that I'm babbling like an idiot.

Tonight we had an Indian (as in East Indian) wedding. I'm tired so I will keep this brief. Beautiful women. I got complements from the people in my section, they told the meeting planner so that was good for me. It was a royal pain in the ass as far as work goes, I was lucky and got to go home at midnight while others are still there working. I got home and couldn't find another uniform to wear tomorrow. I asked Josie if she had seen one and she got short with me. I walked in here and noticed that Brandon wasn't in his bed. I asked Josie where he is, she got short with me again over a simple fucking question. I blew up and told her not to be such a bitch. I'm going to sleep in Brandon's bed seeing it took an argument just to find out that he is staying the night at a friends house. I am way fucking tired and don't need this shit. I swear, this is behavior stemming from her mom living here and all that. I think it's time for her to go. I won't stand for this!!!

ASHOURA DAY SALE!WE'RE SLASHINGCHILDREN PRICES!

Let them know the comfort, the love, the sheer madness of religion! And people think I'm a whack nut! I don't think I've ever done anything like this to my children. Sure, I've made them sit through Monty Python, I've made them listen to Frank Zappa, and I've even hugged them and told them I love them, but I've never hit them on the head with a sword and made them bleed! Wonder what they do on Hemorrhoid Day? Put down the knives you silly bastards!

MARS

Looks like there is or was water on Mars. Probably means life exists or existed there. I think it's their way of inching us towards the "first contact" scenario. Seven years or less, I'm telling you. I heard a guy from SETI say he thinks a minimum of 25 years. We shall see.

SPAM

What in the fuck is going on with spam? Either retarded people are sending me spam or someone who has no idea how to spell is doing it for them. I got this in my E-mail today:

fabuklous!



I took the only one pijll of Cialgs and that was such a GREAT weekend!



All the girls at the party were just punch-drungk with my potentiagl

I have fged all of them THREE times but my dgck WAS able to do some more!

Cgalis - it`s COOL!!! The best weekend stuff I've ever trgied! Haven`t you tgried yet?

SMELL

Nobody can smell up a house like Josie's mom can! Damn, you would think that chemical spray would mask it but it only intensifies the smell in the long run. I always felt proud being able to putrefy our humble surroundings and send the kids running, but I have been shown the error of my ways. I no longer find it funny seeing that I've been beaten at my own game. Holy shit, what in the hell does one eat to produce that acrid nastiness?

THROW NANA FROM THE TRAIN

I told you being a nice guy would bite me in the ass! I allowed Josie's mom to move in because I didn't want to be a bad guy, I wanted to help. I knew that this would turn on me though because I know how her family operates. I have a full time job as does Josie. I have two children that I have to make sure get an education, food, and a decent existence. Josie's family have criticized us for not baby sitting her mom 24 hours a day. She isn't that feeble and doesn't need that kind of care. Also, family members are showing up on a daily basis asking for money for beer and hanging around to get fed as well. It's now starting to effect my marriage and I'm afraid things are going to degrade to the point where Josie's mom will have to move out and live with someone else. Josie and I talked about this tonight and she agreed that if others think a better job can be done then they can step forward and take over. I was very clear at the beginning of this venture that I would not let this come between my family and I. Stay tuned, it's going to get worse before it gets better.

MY BLOG

Simply put, I will not be censoring my blog after much thought. I'm not here to offend the reader, and understand if I am having a rant that is against Christianity then chances are I have a reason behind it so don't take it personally unless I have your name attached to the post. Also understand that this isn't a country being run by people of the Left Hand Path but rather Christians, so if you don't want me to fight back, then get those that attack my very existence daily to stop attacking me. Start with our lovely president and his idea that we need to amend the constitution. Try walking in my shoes for one day, I've already walked hundreds of miles in  yours. No hard feelings towards anyone, I just want to keep this blog honest, no matter how bizarre it may seem to the average person. The purpose of this blog was and still is a place for me to jot things down that are effecting me on a daily basis. This included all the strange shit that happens to me and some times it helps to type it out to relieve stress. If you have questions or wish to send me IMs I'm willing to talk to anybody about the subject of the paranormal or even religion. And again, this blog is a type of therapy for me, don't take the things I say here personally.

DRINKING

I went out and got drunk for the first time in a long time a few nights ago after work with the guys. I never seem to get out anymore and I'll tell ya that I had a blast! I think I might have taken it to far by playing a lot of Journey on the jukebox, but it was balanced out with Black Sabbath and various other rock tunes. Big Red got toasted, and ended up hugging and kissing everybody and telling them he loved them. I got to hear about how I worship Satan and am damned as well, but I'll save that subject for later.

NO REST FOR THE WICKED

Just haven't been around to write this silly little blog as of late. And for the people who come here and think I'm personally attacking their religious beliefs you need not fret, it's not attack against the reader. It's usually in response to an E-mail or comment made to me at work. Trust me on this one, I have a very good one worked up for here but I will not type it out, even though that is what this blog was intentionally set up for, my little rants. You also have to understand that a person like myself is beat down on a daily basis by Christianity, how can I not dislike it? I don't go out and look to start arguments about the subject, but I'll be damned (as most of them think) if you think I'll stand idly by as people slam me for not being one of the chosen. But anyway, I'm not in the mood to get all lathered up about the subject this morning. So if your offended, I'm sorry. But then again, so am I! Maybe I'll set up another blog strictly for the subject.

THIS BLOG

I'll try to keep the posts short and happy-go-lucky. I will post a warning from now on if I might offend somebody. Like I said, I'm not attacking the reader here, I'm only responding to people from any given day that have attacked me and set me off. I respect you all coming here, even though it feels like I don't have that many people coming here. Keep the comments coming though, at least I can tell how you all feel when I'm pissing you all off and can respond.

ONE YEAR!

Wow, it's been one year of blogging! This started as an experiment and I didn't know I would still be doing this a whole year later. I have got a ton of positive feedback about this page over the past year, a very few negative. Someone wrote me an e-mail a few days ago after they read this and told me it wasn't too late to turn to god and be saved. Well, sorry honey! I've been there and done all that, and it made little to no sense! So sorry I haven't written a whole bunch as of late, felt I would take a week off and start back up as soon as the anniversary date came around. Thanks to everyone who reads this, to the friends I've made this past year because of this blog. I really do enjoy and treasure chatting with you guys when I'm home and able to do so. I hope this next year produces just as many great friends as I have made this year. Rock on you motherfuckers!

WHAT HAPPENS?

I got a huge response about the remote viewing post I put up about a week ago. A lot of people either commented, e-mailed me, or sent me an IM about this. A lot of people wanted to know about the alien thing. This is what I have been told, and I don't mean to be cryptic or anything but I can't talk about how or why I know. What I was told about six years ago is that the truth about alien civilizations would be revealed by the summer of 2005. This was the ultimatum given to our government. I read elsewhere that this was the plan but it's been pushed back, and a remote viewer said this would come to pass within the next seven years. Do I believe this? I won't say yes, and then again I don't think I would be very surprised if I turned on CNN tomorrow and saw huge ships hovering over some major cities like in the movie ID4. Life goes on regardless. If I had to put money on it I would say the chances of a civilization greater than ours making contact with us surpasses the chances of Jesus coming back.

WORK

Work was pretty lax this past week. I was given a full plate as far as scheduled work goes but ended up giving about 25% of it away so that I could keep my sanity. At the monthly meeting we were told the word "HAG" will not be tolerated. The boss read the definition and I had to bite me tongue to keep from laughing. Hey, if it looks like one, and it acts like one, then chances are it is one! One of the groups in house has a guy by the name of Michael Hunt. No lie! One of my friends at work said, "Hey, how's Mike Hunt!" Michael didn't find this funny seeing that this has been going on his whole life. I again had to bite my tongue. Also, a friend of mine at work who tends to stretch the truth, no wait, lie a lot came up with some whoppers this past week. I love the guy, I really do! But it's insulting as hell when he does this. I want him to stop and will more than likely confront him about it soon, but I don't want to hurt his feelings. I don't need my intelligence insulted so if your reading this, and you realize I'm talking about you, then please stop! Your a good guy but your full of shit! Nobody believes anything you've been saying, trust me on this one.

STEAK PLEASE!

This is the latest thing the media seems to be beating to a pulp. Mel Gibson's movie about Ted Johnson (real name Yahshua, but people call him Jesus because names don't matter, even though the bible tells you they do) who is put to death on a cross (people who really know their religion and have actually studied it know he was put to death on a living tree) and then arises magically three days and nights (do the math, Easter Sunday doesn't compute) to be seated at the right hand of himself (this schizophrenic shit should throw up a red flag for Christians) for all eternity. Who cares! I hope Gibson does a movie about the holocaust next because that subject hasn't been touched either. Then maybe he and Peter Jackson can collaborate on Jackson's rendition of KING KONG! Drop King Kong and move straight on to THE HOBBIT for god's sake! You know, back to the Jesus thing, it's funny how he's still being portrayed as an effeminate white guy after all of these years. Too bad Andy Warhol isn't still alive, he was an effeminate white male, as was Divine:

which would have been better because they need keep portraying this guy as both effeminate, white, and divine. I personally want to make a movie on the life of Satan and have him portrayed as a red guy with horns, a tail, who hisses when he talks. Charles Nelson Riely:

would play Satan of course, seeing how diabolical he is. Okay, I'll shut up now because I know this will piss off about 90% of the people who read this blog.

REMOTE VIEWING

Was listening to a remote viewer talk on the  radio the other night. This guy is retired at age 30 or so! What does he do for income? He wins lotteries by remote viewing the winning numbers! In laymen's terms, he's a psychic, one of the best. How real is remote viewing? So real that the government sponsored and trained people to do this. I'm not shitting you, do some research! No, he's not a John Edwards "I'm speaking with a dead relative who's name begins with a K or W, and is a man or a woman, and had a mother and a father, once drove in a car, and likes chocolate" type of psychic, he's the real thing. Anyway, after listening to him talk for an hour or so I dozed off, but what he was talking about didn't sit very well with me. Things don't look too bright in the near future for any of us. I hope this guy is wrong, but from what I understand that he was trained by one of the governments top remote viewers and is himself very accurate. We do have the power to change the future though! He confirmed what I have been saying on this blog for over a year now, humans need to evolve now and move beyond religion. It's not advancing us, and never has. He also confirmed one of my theories on the origins of our species, and some pretty far out ideas about advanced civilizations that have interacted with our own. You probably think I'm a loony crackpot who is delusional. Then again, I don't base my morals and life on a book filled with talking donkeys, evil talking snakes, incest, pimping out your daughters to an angry mob to protect angels,  glowing heads, bears sent by god to rip children apart, raining frogs, and emulate conception. If one of my sources and this remote viewer are correct, then you have less than 7 years to go before you get the shock of a life time.

TRASH

We have a ton of stuff laying around inside the garage that serves us no purpose anymore, mostly simi-broken furniture. So I kept telling Josie that we should just stick this stuff out on the corner of the street by our house and that it would be picked up people driving by. She wouldn't let me do this, wouldn't believe that people would just pick up our garbage off the street to have as their very own. Well, Josie (I'm calling her OCD now as a nick name) was on one of her cleaning missions, and it overflowed from the yard into the garage. She gave me a ration of shit about all the stuff that was cluttering up the garage so I  got Miranda to help me put some of these items on the curb next the street where the ally meets up with it. The first item was gone in less than 30 minutes! Josie couldn't believe it. Then I sat two more items out. About an hour later they were gone too! It was at this time that I realized that the old water heater we replaced in December had been taken as well! Funny, but I'm almost afraid to leave my car in the driveway at this point!

SMORGASBORD

Oy! Man, it's just one of those weird nights and weird stuff is coming to mind so I have to type it out before it's gone. So who remembers that kid from the 70's named Mason Reese? He seemed to be a regular on The Mike Douglas Show as well as doing those damn Underwood commercials that trained me to hate the word "smorgasbord." Their commercials also featured that damn devil that scared the shit out of me. My parents had taken it upon themselves to teach us the fine beliefs of the Christian religion and I was scared to death of the devil. How could people eat this stuff that was endorsed by Satan himself?

RANDOM WEIRD STUFF

I'm having a flood of weird thoughts tonight. I had a recurring dream up till the age of five or six of these little hooded guys coming through the wall in the closet via a void or portal of some sort. They would threaten to take my toys if I didn't do what they wanted. I can't remember what they wanted me to do, but I remember the portal as if it were right here beside me. Remember, I was about four when this happened. I've also run into somebody who had the same thing happen to them at the same age who is my age as well, down to the last detail! This person told me about this without me telling them my story, ever! Weird as anything I can think of, honestly. I also had this weird recurring dream involving this lady and a force field made of some kind of power. This one lasted up until I was a teenager. Like my brother says, there is this weird vortex that surrounds me. I'm going to be honest now, this isn't grandstanding or making up shit to get attention but I have no way to explain a lot of this weird shit that happens to me on a regular basis. The little guys that came through the closet, me drawing UFO's on the wall at the same age, seeing huge eyes in the dark a few years later. How did I see these eyes in the dark? They were reflecting the little bit of light that was coming from the window. All the weird paranormal shit I've witnessed. Me blurting out sentences for people before they had the chance to say them. This happened just a couple of days ago. I actually had one girl tell me she wished I would stay out of her head. It happens more with some people than others. How do you explain these things and try to remain sane? Seriously! I remember a time about 30 years ago when I was at the river swimming with a whole bunch of other kids. This older kids glasses fell off. He yelled, "My glasses!" I was about ten feet away from him and I reached down and grabbed his glasses out of the murky water as naturally as if someone had tossed them at me. Not only was the water so murky that I wouldn't have been able to see them but I was turned around in the opposite direction and had no idea where he had dropped those damn things. I'm not going to entertain the idea of being possessed or demons being attracted to me because to me that seems crazier than any of the things that I have just mentioned. I shouldn't post any of this. I've already posted some of this, and there are people who read this blog that know about these things. I guess this is the reason I created this blog in the first place, to be able to work through these things, try to find some rational explanation for some of these things. Weird shit happens to people all of the time. It's a fact.

DREAM WEIRDNESS

Anyone ever hear someone calling their name when they are sleeping or just dozing off? I have a lady who does this all of the time. She did it this week again. Now and again the voice will be made up of bells. I also hear a screen door lightly tapping against it's frame, paper rustling, tapping (from elsewhere, not in this dimension, this one is hard to explain), and the occasional loud boom (hasn't happened in the past four years). There is a lady who holds a silver strand in dream land, and I heard someone talking about this on television with in the past three years on the television. Anyone else have this kind of dream weirdness? I still have the recurring dreams about tornadoes, snakes, flying, my parents house, Corona Ranch, and even driving off of bridges. I know this was a pretty whacked out post, but I have to get it out of my system or I won't be able to sleep tonight! I swear to you I'm not making any of this up.

VALENTINES DAY

Spent last night with Josie, alone! No kids! We spent the night at Corona Ranch. We stayed in this room here:

I just happened to live in this very room in the 80's and lost my virginity here to a girl from El Salvador. I smoked a lot of dope here back in the day. I also spent a lot of lonely hours in this room. It was almost like going home. Josie enjoyed it anyway! I have to go get the camera tomorrow, I locked it by accident in the room. No, no sex pictures! So what we did last night was this. We went out and ate Mexican food, then we went to see the latest Lord of the Rings movie. A lot of people told me they didn't care for the last one but I thought they did a great job! Then we spent time together out at the ranch. We did the nasty, with no interruptions, it was fantastic! I just had to share that!

UH....

I walked into the bathroom yesterday and it looked like a small shit hurricane had blown through. Shit on the toilet, on the floor, in the sink along with toilet paper. I asked Brandon if he had taken a dump in there and he said no, that he had done his business in his own bathroom. True, I remember this. Of course this opened up a line of questioning from Brandon. Why did I need to know? What happened? Etc. Miranda was at the mall, Josie was outside, and I was on the computer. Josie's mom had been in there just a while before. So, my conclusion is that she shit herself and did a poor job covering her tracks. I don't think this is the first time this has happened either. So Josie cleaned it up, and had a talk with her mom. Looks like someone is wearing depends from this day out.

BIRTHDAY

March 4th will be this blogs 1st birthday! Almost been a year already! Wow...!

GREAT FUCKING DAY

Holy fuck I'm in a great mood! Having the past two days off and getting rest after a hell week really did the trick. Then tonight we had a gig for a bunch of the corporate heads and they had one hell of a spread set out for them. I got to eat my weight in shrimp tonight and I can hardly move! Just a ton of great food and tons of great comments all the way around. I put in a ten hour day with about three hours off in between sifts so I got to get off of my feet for a little bit. Today most certainly kicked ass, I wish you all could have been there with me to enjoy it!

FUCKING COCKS

I'm at work all day and wild shit happens. Isn't that always how it is anyway? Take a look at this about Bill O'Reilly. I can't fucking believe it! Are these people finally going to wise up about this? I try not to get too political here but holy shit, finally, and of all people it's Bill O'Reilly! Let's get this bastard out of office! I don't need another four years of this smug asshole claiming to be my leader and spouting shit about TERROR. He can't even pronounce the word nuclear correctly. Time to move on America!

AND YOUR POINT IS?

I've been stating THIS for years and years. The bible never states three wise men. It talks about the Magi, and they are from Persia. Any idea where Persia is and what these guys may have been into? And as for the mindless fucking Christians at work today spouting bullshit, well, FUCK YOU! Go ahead and condemn gays in the name of your worthless Christ. Go on living your life as mindless sheep. I have no respect for anything in your head, or your bullshit document that you cherish so much. You're all mindless sheep.

ARE YOU GOING TO BURN?

This is a funny test. Click on THE HELL TEST to see if your going to make it or not. I might still have a chance because I scored 133. I think you have to score at least 200 to go to hell. They didn't ask many questions about Jesus so I think I got off on some kind of technicality. It's going to be hard to fit in when in heaven so I'm sure I'm going regardless. At least there will be wild women and cool music!

TIGHTWAD

I was listening to one of the hardcore Christians talking a couple of nights ago on the way to a cater out function. He was talking about how frugal his family is. They don't buy stuff from the isles of grocery stores, they only shop on the perimeter of the store so they won't be "tempted" by the garbage inside the store. He won't allow his daughters to buy hairspray, because it's overpriced junk, so they have to take Elmer's Glue All and water it down and spray that on instead. They only order pizza from places like Little Ceasers or Peter Pipper because he doesn't believe in spending more than $6.00 for a pizza. This is a guy who believes that being stupid, non-questioning, and a domestic servant is the proper place for a woman in the home. This guy also spent like eight years with UP WITH PEOPLE. I guess it's UP WITH PEOPLE but DOWN WITH YOUR FAMILY! I on the other hand let my kids experience their own lives, make choices for themselves, eat Pizza Hut pizza and I preach abstinence is the best method, abstinence from the Church that is.

BEAT TO A PULP

I spent my life at work last week! I wasn't home to type on this lovely little journal at all, sorry. I had yesterday off but spent the majority of the day resting and sleeping. I put in just over 70 hours for last week and the tip pool was kick ass so I'm happy that I worked like a slave.

T&jAnet

I'm just totally shocked that we as Americans are so offended at this Janet Jackson tit incident. I've seen far worse on television, you've seen far worse on television so why the outcry and the outrage? It's a breast for gods sake! You can gun down sixty people on a prime time show, murder this or that person on prime time, you can have an affair with somebody's spouse on prime time and it's all good. Then comes along the most evil of all evils, the breast of a black woman exposed with a the nipple covered for less than a second and it's the end of civilization! The Antichrist must be alive and well this very day for this was a sign of the Apocalypse! No, it was a boob being flashed for a mere second. If you truly want to be offended turn on TBN for an hour and listen to those blatherskites ramble for about an hour. A boob flashing for an instant vs. my eternity in a burning nasty fiery pit of nastiness? I'll take tit's and ass please!

LONG AND WINDING ROAD

I don't even know where to start! So I guess I'll start with what is fresh in my mind. Dana Carvey was the entertainment a few nights ago. He was funny as hell. Go see him live if you ever get a chance, you'll laugh I guarantee it! I was standing close to some people wearing kippahs on their heads. I don't think they thought he was all that funny, and proceeded to act stuffy and offended. I'm glad I'm not involved with any religion that would ever cause one to become offended at the drop of a hat, or kippah in this instance. There is a lot I'd like to post about this week but won't because I don't want to offend anyone because I poke fun of stereotypes. The one thing I will say is that rich people from the east coast (no matter what ethnic background) are just plain lazy, clueless, and narcissistic. Anyway, I put in a 15 hour day that day. That has been my life this week, making a lot of money  but tired as hell. I've been called into work tonight which is my only day off and I have a 15 hour or longer shift tomorrow. I asked for Sunday and Monday off and I better get it or I'll be pissed!

BACK TO  NORMAL

I should be back to posting, and will be around to chat with all of you who usually send me IMs. I just wasn't home at all this week! I did sell that piece of shit car for $700 "as is" this week. A friend of mine insisted that I sell it to him even after I explained the condition of the car. So be it. Anyway, my life returns to normal after tomorrow.

TRAPPED!

I'm trapped in this endless cycle of going to work, going home, going to bed, and getting up to go to work again. I'll post tomorrow, I promise! I will say that I think I have a boyfriend! No shit! This guy has been so nice to me this week, and it's too bad I'm not a single gay guy because he's got bucks!!! Didn't say anything to anybody, not even Josie. Not that I'm afraid to but Josie is jealous as hell and the last thing I need people at work thinking is I have guys after me. He really is a nice guy, very weird that whole thing. Tomorrow, I promise! I'm just so tired it's hard to even type at this point...

12 HOUR DAY

Yep, I just finished a 12 hour day at work with no breaks and I'm beat. The people we have in house are the elite beautiful people you see in television shows. The only difference with these rich people is that they are stupid. Simple things elude these people. I'm talking simple every day tasks! I'm thinking having hired help to do their every day menial tasks hasn't helped them one bit. They are beautiful though, if not down right hot! Last night they had a comedian that was so bad that just about everyone got up and left. The little bit that I did comedy in the 80's I never had that happen to me. I had four people come up to me and tell me I should have been up on stage. I will agree with them only because she was so bad that there is no way I could be any worse. Dana Carvey is going to be their entertainment in a few days. I've seen him live at work once before and he is funny as hell. Anyway, I have to get up and work so I will type more tomorrow. I'm sorry this post was random but I've had a couple of drinks and I'm beat. Stay tuned!

EVIL ONES

Well the backlash started just as I knew it would. The evil ones even recruited meth addicts to join it, and that got squashed quickly. This guy was with them the next day and I was walking by, not saying anything. He says in a real smart ass like tone, "Don't harass me!" I turned around and told him to watch it. I was willing to let it die at that but they ran to the office and said I was starting things again. So later as my boss was asking me what was going on and why were people running to the office the guy who made the remark happens to walk by and was stopped. He was asked to explain his remark and he denied that he had made it. I told him he was lying. This is a guy who's been claiming to be a born again Christian a lot as of late. Anyway, after all was said and done I was told they knew he was lying and that this whole issue should be dead now and I have nothing to worry about. We will see

DREAMS

I dreamt that I was loosing my teeth last night and the roots were turning to black sludge. Not very nice. I also had a dream where a pimple on my chest was growing a huge tuft of hair out of it and I was trying to pull it out with pliers. Of course I had my shirt off and I was at work in front of clients when all of this was happening. All my dreams were on this level last night, just couldn't sleep well.

VH1 BANDS REUNITE

Just watched this show on VH1. Saw A Flock Of Seagulls play together for the first time in about twenty years. That was very cool. I'm going to have to go and buy their CDs now. Think they had two out under the original line up. They were records though back then. I'm tempted to buy a record player so that I can buy some old hard to find records and record them as mp3s.

SLAVERY

Today begins a long week. Today being second easiest, tomorrow third and Friday being my only day off. The rest is going to be spent living at work. It's going to be ugly with the hag factor in place but I'll survive. I will try to type here every day, and I'm sure this week will produce some lovely stories. Stay tuned and wish me luck.

WRECKING BALL

I'm tired, but just got home from work and can't sleep and it's just past midnight. What do you do in such a predicament? Well, you make a giant mug of iced tea and play a game of Wrecking Ball! How do you play you might ask? Well hold your fucking horses and I'll tell you. What you do is find a chat room on IRC, something like #bible or #lesbian_love. Next you go in and be quiet for a good long while and observe things, or if people start talking to you then just chime right in and chat back, but be polite and let them think your in there to chat with them about the chosen topic or theme of the channel. Next, you start to deviate slightly by saying loony things that just don't quite jive with the conversation. Here is a sample of what I'm doing right now in a channel called #Christian_chat:

Falchion: the #christian channel, why is it in that state?
chalcedny: what about it?
Shyven: Iowa?
chalcedny: it's an evangelism channel
chalcedny: non-christians are welcomed
Shyven: Oh evangelism, it makes great things good
Shyven: I like Robert Tilton, he is the epitome of evangelism
Falchion: the bot boots you after apparently idling for an hr
Falchion: no one talks, and generally no ops around for abusive people :/
Shyven: what if your Billy Idol
Shyven: that's a life time of being booted
Falchion: ...?
Shyven: or Eric Idle of Monty Python
Shyven: both constantly being booted in there
Shyven: an eternity of being booted....

That's kind of the gist of the whole thing. Hard to play and type this all at the same
time. I'm also chatting with friends so I'm multitasking.

MIRANDA

Miranda got an award for being Student of the quarter! This is the second time she has done this! She got it last year too. So she get's to pick where she wants to eat for dinner. Looks like we are going to the Olive Garden.

EVIL

Tomorrow is going to be backlash day at work. I went and told people what the wretched ones did. Everyone thinks that they over did it by claiming harassment. I just wanted to let people know that they are hypocrites. So people know, it will get back to the Gorgon , and it will try and bite back! Games on! Hold on to your panties!

ATTACK!

The evil ones at work tried to get me yesterday. Alas, they failed. It was all over a simple blunder of people not knowing where their assigned work section was, of course assigned by me. When they attacked me and tried to make me feel about three inches tall I stood my ground. I didn't mess anything up, they simply couldn't count tables and find their section, causing another group of people to work harder when they had to pick up their slack. After all was said and done they accused me of harassment simply because I wouldn't back down. So they want to play games, fine. It's on baby, it's on!

SLEEP

Got the sleep I needed but the stress from yesterday is giving me a headache. Life goes on. Next week is going to be murder, and with those wretched ones on my back it's going to be a challenge. I will try and post as much as possible but I am literally going to be a slave to work and not home a whole lot. I need the money anyway. I'm sure there will be tons to write about next week with all the added stress, it's going to get ugly. Hold on to your panties!

TIRED

Lack of sleep is catching up with me and I'm working a double today. I need sleep bad. Not a whole lot happened today that was worthy of writing about. Got back on IRC to chat with old friends and that has been a lot of fun. Going to get back into reading Tarot cards so that I can become real good at it. The card above is out of my deck. I'll write something more interesting later tonight when I get home. Sleep!

FUNNY SHIZZIT

I found these via other blogs so I will not take credit for finding them. Bush in 30 Seconds is a website with 30 second film shorts made up as painfully truthful advertisements about our dearest friend. They are funny, and yet they are not. You really want another 4 years of this shit? The second thing I will post is this Backstreet Boys spoof. Makes ya want to do the nasty thang!

AMERICA THE RETARDED

I accidentally left the television on earlier when I was watching the local news. I passed by the television again just a few minutes ago and a soap opera called "Passions" just happened to be on. I was compelled to stop and watch it for about two minutes due to the bad acting. I have to wonder to myself, have Americans become so dull witted and vacant that they find a need to supplement their every day existence with this tripe? The people in charge of this country really have been successful in lowering our standards of education. It's starting to show. This is why we as parents need to be just that, parents. Make sure your child is being educated and not just becoming bloated on the ideals our fast food hip-hop society. Read to your kids, get them some computer software that will help them succeed in their studies. Take away their play station or game console or even go so far as to unplug the television for a while. I'm afraid of our future as Americans. If you need to ask me why I say this then you are a   success story. Don't expect me to defend things like ebonics either. A liberal namby pamby approach to things will never solve or resolve a single thing in our country. Sorry for the rant. I'm not a genius but then again I'm  not so stupid and blind that I can't see what is going on. Wake the fuck up America!

Captain Kangaroo

Bob Keeshan known to many of us as Captain Kangaroo died today. I personally am sad about this seeing how important this show was to me as a kid. We will miss you Captain!

80'S MUSIC MASTURBATION

Was talking with a female coworker today about a wide variety of topics today. She brought up the point that she started masturbating when she was in 3rd grade! I was blown away. She also said she thinks most females are lying when they say that they never masturbate. We talked some more and then we started talking about music and about how it can bring back memories of things or places. I stated the fact that music does this to me a lot. I told her how every time I hear "Brass In Pocket" by The Pretenders I think of masturbation.  It just happened to be on the radio the first time I masturbated as a teenager, probably around 1980. Some guy was talking about jacking off one day after football practice in the locker room. I had thought jerking off was a stupid idea. Well, a few days later I was bored and in my bedroom and nobody else was home at the time so I decided I was going to see what all the hoopla was about. Boy, what a surprise that was! At the moment of climax, another huge surprise, the song on the radio just happened to be "Brass in Pocket." O-kay, enough of that.

THE REVEREND JOE

I'm ordained as a minister! Seriously! I applied at an online site and it's official. The place is called The Universal Life Church and it's even based out of Tucson of all places. I will be able to perform marriages and funerals. This will become handy as I will be able to do this legally for atheists or even people who are Left Handed such as I am. I am trying to get a certificate as a High Priest of The Left Hand Path. The Christians at work are going to love this!

MISTAKEN IDENTITY

A funny thing happened at work today when I walked in. As I walked by a table of my peers, a friend of mine says, "What's up Shop!" I was confused but kept on walking. I needed something to drink so I went and got an Iced Tea. Well, it was almost time for our pre-service meeting and everyone took off but I needed to kill my thirst so I stayed behind. Another friend walks in and says, "Yo, what's up Shop?" So I asked what was up with this shop thing. Big Red just smiled and said, "Whatever dude!" He takes off and I run to catch up with him. I say, "No, really, what is up with this shop thing?" He just started laughing and said to quit fucking with him. So obviously we were both confused at this point. So I forced him to tell me what the hell he was talking about. This is what happened, Big Red and Shambam were playing Half-Life online and someone going by the name of SHOP bopped into the room they were playing in and started a conversation. This person knew Big Red, his wife and kids and other personal stuff. I'm basically the only other person that plays this game with them that knows anything about them so they thought it was me. Well, it wasn't! I haven't even played this game in months, and neither had Big Red until today. So this person got personal with both he and Shambam and said some degrading things to them. They both thought I was fucking with them. It took everything in my might to get Sham to believe me, and he finally did. Anyway, it was very awkward situation. And don't get me wrong, I love a good mind fucking! But I wouldn't bring a persons kids and wife into something like this just for my own amusement. I really would love to know who it was.

WARREN MOON

The football player Warren Moon spoke tonight for the group in house. I didn't listen to any of the speech because I was busy doing mundane tasks and shooting the shit with the other guys. I did stand next to him for a bit and he smiled and said hi. I know nothing about sports so I didn't even try to start a conversation with him. I'll give him major props for being one of the first African-American quarterbacks. Oh, tangent time! Speaking of African-American, a friend of mine at work told me tonight that he had a child with a girl from Alabama who is African-American but is just now getting around to telling people about it. Has nothing to do with her, it's just the rumor mill at work and how they like to tear people apart. Cute kid! I told him he is now an official member of the race mixers club. I'll tell you something about us race mixers, we produce some of the coolest and best looking kids you will ever meet!

NEW COMMENT BOX

Sorry about the comment box not working. I was using BlogOut, or also known as ShoutOut. What a piece of shit! I know, it's free and I basically can't bitch about something that is free, but it's always in a state of ruin and it's just not reliable. So I changed the comment box to HaloScan. Anyway, leave me a comment even if just to say hi so I can tell it's working. I also added four new people to the blogroll. Frozen Ice Queen, Enigmatic Musings, Deep Thinks, and Cindyisms.

LAZY

It's 2:00 p.m. and I just drug my lazy ass out of bed! Everybody is sick here and I think my body is fighting it off. I just couldn't get up this morning, I would roll over look at the clock then just go back to sleep. Even at 1:15 p.m. I couldn't do it. I feel a bit off kilter. I don't need to be sick with a busy work week coming.

UPDATES AND THE PROCESS

Updated a few of the sigils on the right hand side of the page. They are all more authentic. A few people have asked about "The Process" and to those of you that have the answer is no, I do not belong to the movement of the late 60's that called themselves partially by that name. Did they have any connections with Charles Manson? I'm sure they knew of each other, and I'm sure Manson stole ideas from them, but other than that I'm sure they were smart enough to stay away from him. It was "The Family" that supported Manson at his trial, not the Church of the Final Judgement. I think it's kind of like saying the Beach Boys were a part of Manson's movement. Just because some loony decides he wants to hang out with you doesn't make him a part of your organization. Many like minded philosophies spring out of that movement, but seeing that I don't believe in Jehovah, Jesus, Satan, or Lucifer I doubt I would hardly qualify as a follower. They were into a lot of things I would never agree on. I identify more with the movement that sprung out out of the early 90's with people like G.P.O. of Psychic T.V. and Ogre of Skinny Puppy. The basic philosophy is that you control your life by the power of your own will, you shape and mold your process to fit yourself. That's the readers digest version anyway.

T&A
(TITS AND ASIANS)

Tonight was wild, crazy, sexy, funky, weird! I was working a party for a bunch of firemen and their guests that involved an amateur country and western band and three kegs of lite beer. Oh, the keg beer was hosted as was about fifteen bottles of wine. Everything on top of that was cash, and people proceeded to get properly fucked up. One of the guests was a lady wearing a very low cut blouse with no bra. Here is the catch, this lady had some of the pointiest little tits I've ever seen. Yes, that I have seen because one could see them plain as day. Her blouse didn't fit, it hung off of her neck and she didn't have the proper boobage to support such a blouse so all in all her little pointy bananas were there for all to see. And to be serious, this was almost as disturbing as the guy who had hair coming out of his ears a few nights ago. I'm not trying to be offensive or gross, this was my night. Anyway, there was an Asian fraternity party downstairs and Kathy gave me a heads up because she knows how much I love Asian girls. I went down to see what was going on and there were about 50 Asian girls hanging out in the foyer. The guys had kicked their dates out of the room while they performed some kind of secret fraternity ritual. I was in awe! There wasn't an ugly girl anywhere, no lie. And as far as secret ritual goes, well, secret ritual means sneaking in bottles of liqueur (properly disguised as presents) illegally and forcing younger frat members who are not of age to do shots until they vomit all over the room. They didn't advance to GO or even collect their $200 but they did land on chance, and chance would have it that they got their asses booted out of the resort four hours early.

YESTERDAY

I failed to mention yesterday that while at the burger joint I witnessed something slightly disturbing. There was a lady there who was so obese that she had to wedge herself into the booth between the table and the seat. She didn't fit. I could have had three people sitting on my lap and we would have all fit just fine. I'm not making fun of this morbidly obese lady. I'm not a skinny guy, I weigh more than I need to and the last place I need to be hanging out for lunch is at a fast food joint that sells bacon cheese burgers. The point I want to make is this, Who in the fuck do you think your kidding lady? You super sized your whole meal, added a few items and yet you chose a diet cola. Diet cola? Is a diet cola going to make any difference? No, go for the sugar! It tastes better and it's not as harmful as that chemical sweetener your ingesting. Also, at your weight I don't think any diet anything is going to make a difference. O.k. I know I'm babbling, I'll shut up now!

DAMN!!!

It was a long day. Bought a new car as you can see. The 2004 Santa Fe by Hyundai. I had no choice or say in this matter. Anyway, I get the Elantra and that KIA can go to hell. Miranda and Brandon were excited about the new car. All I know it that it's not what I would have chosen.

INSOMNIA

I know it's been a while but I just can't sleep tonight. Josie doesn't feel well so she hasn't slept much yet. She can't understand how I can stay up so late. She still doesn't understand that this isn't a choice. Watched Gangs of New York. It was pretty good. I know it's loosely based on the era and that it kind of happened that way.

WEIRD DAY

It was a weird day. Bumped into a lot of people I know all over the city. Highlight of the day was the girl at the burger place who was filling the ketchup holders. She would literally sit down to place one packet of ketchup in a holder. Honey, get well acquainted with minimum wage!

OY!

Sorry, my comment box isn't working and it was causing the page not to load. Not quite finished running around today. Will have a real post in place of this one within three hours. It's been a long day!

LEMON CURRY

Wow, thanks for all of the instant messages people! Got quite a few new people added to the buddy list on AOL and MSN. I also got E-mail yesterday from a very dear old friend that I went to high school and even dated back in the day. I hadn't heard from her in about four years due to her family moving and my family moving. So glad to have you back in my life Laura!

THAT DEPENDS

I think Josie's mom shit herself, no lie. Something is foul in her room and I don't think it's the corpse of Jimmy Hoffa, I don't think it's Karen Carpenter, and I sure as hell didn't bury any bodies in the house in true John Wayne Gacy fashion. Josie won't say anything so I guess it's burning incense until tomorrow. Miranda grabbed the little dogs kennel so that they can sleep in her room. She said they would die breathing that all night. Dog's eat their own shit, I personally don't think they care. I think someone is getting depends if this happens again.

JESUS FUCKING CHRIST

Do you think I give a shit about Jesus? Seriously, I have made my self clear to the people at work that I do not believe their god, their messiah, or their dogma. Why do they insist on coming up to me and spouting this irrelevant bullshit. I personally could give a shit about what "god" thinks about me or even homosexuals. As a matter of fact, your messiah is a fisher of men, not hot chicks, go figure. And on a parting note, do you really believe that your Jesus would forgive you of your constant drug abuse and you insulting behavior and not over look a man who desires the love of anther man? "Do what thou wilt shall be the whole of the law," seems more reasonable. Hail yourself!

SHAVE IT!

I'm not grossed out by much. I've seen a guy decapitated by the sunroof of a car, I watched my youngest child born via c-section, I've stepped in fresh dog shit, I've even sat through those "Lord of the Dance" commercials and not much seems to make my stomach turn. But tonight I got fucking grossed out pretty badly. I was working a reception for a medical group and an Asian looking gentleman walks in. I notice something hanging from his ear but he wasn't close enough for me to see what it was. He turned around and the other ear was the same. "What in the hell could it be?" I kept asking myself. Well he got close enough for me to see and it was hair! This guy had huge tufts of hair growing out of his ears. Don't ask me why this bothered me, but it just did.

CARS

My car is fucked. I don't have the money or desire to fix that bitch either. So Josie and I are going to go car shopping on Friday for a new car. Hopefully we can find a deal where we get cash back or move the remainder of our loan with Josie's car onto this new one. Either way, I'm going to be driving a semi-new car now. That KIA is done. I'm going to donate it and write it off on my taxes or trade it in. Now I need to find a new SKINNY PUPPY sticker to decorate my next ride, that or an inverted pentacle.

TODAYS COOL TUNES

Flock of Seagulls - Wishing (If I had a photograph of you)
The Cramps - Let's Get Fucked Up
Switchblade Symphony - Bad Trash
Love and Rockets - Life In Laralay
Hot Hot Heat - Talk to Me, Dance With Me
The Rentals - Friends of P
Gary Numan - Cars
David Bowie - Ashes To Ashes
Ohgr - minus

PIECE OF SHIT CAR

My car just broke down as I was going to work. Lucky it happened here on our street and not five miles up the road. I'm stuck here until Josie comes and picks me up and takes me to work. I'm too broke to fix that piece of shit on top of all this. It's time for a new car, Josie has less than eight months to pay on her car anyway. Man, what next?

THE LIFE OF A SLAVE

I've been living at work for the past four days. Don't get me wrong, I need the money and I want a new computer so I have to force myself to stay and get hours I want a P4 with at least 80 gigs of hard drive space. Anyway, I haven't done anything exciting and nothing exciting has happened. I've been forced to eat a shit load of awesome food though! I forgot how good it is to be able to eat like that and not have to do dishes. I'm going to be gaining my weight back that I lost if I keep this up. One funny thing did happen this morning. Josie hasn't seen me for the past few days so I guess she kind of misses me. This morning she decides she wants to do it. Yeah, IT! So it starts happening, and it's the really good kind too, and then I get a fucking cramp in my leg! All this standing for the past few days has taken it's toll, were talking standing for over 13 hours a day for the past four days or so. Anyway, I know you don't care but that didn't stop anything. I needed to get laid, plain and simple.

SHE LOOKS LIKE HER!

O.k. you all know who Fran Drescher is right? The Nanny, Old Navy, the girl in the movie The Hollywood Knights. Well, today I was working a function that was for the Women In Government group. I had the head table on the stage in addition to my section on the floor and it was an easy lunch. This one lady at the head table looked a lot like Fran Drescher. So I'm thinking to my self that she could pass for her sister, but she isn't as hot as Fran is. Things are moving along and the speaker for the group gets up and they are talking about HMOs and medical stuff then she announces the special guest for the day, Fran Drescher. I guess the lack of makeup and tight fitting cloths threw me for a loop. She was there to talk about cancer of the female type. She had some form of cervical cancer and beat it. So anyway, Fran goes on my list of famous people I've served. Oh, Fran doesn't like making eye contact.

PHONES RINGING

At work tonight I got a call on the cell phone. I see it's my home phone number so I pick it up and say something stupid that I picked up from one of those GI JOE cartoons I linked to a few days back on this blog. Anyway, it's Brandon on the phone. Everyone was outside and he was inside the house by himself and decided he was going to call me. So he found the cell phone number and called to see how and what I was doing. I felt bad for being at work, Brandon missed his daddy and just wanted to talk. Without being a total sissy I do have to say this really touched me. So I have to do something special for him not only because of this, but because he got a great report card. Miranda got a great one as well. She averaged all A's for the first semester. I'm really proud of my kids! I have to do something special for the both of them.

THIS BLOG

I'm living at work until Wednesday so I haven't been home to write here the past couple of days. I'll be around and will try to post something. Oh, and Jett, Miranda told me you chatted with her on the IM tonight. Funny! I must have added you to my buddy list at some point but I don't ever remember seeing you on. I think she thought you were Erin from Sheets and Blankets. If anyone ever wants to chat my IM on aol is Shyven1666 and on MSN it's shyven@hotmail.com and on Yahoo it's Shyven or shyven@yahoo.com. Don't IM me unless you really want to talk because I'm pretty chatty on the instant messenger.

THIS IS HANK!

This is a great story. The name of it is KISSING HANKS ASS. Most of you will not find this funny, but I laughed my ass off.

WORK

Not much happened today. Work was easy today so nothing to report other than I got my annual review and got an extremely good one. That's all I'll say because I don't want to incriminate myself.

FUCKING KICK ASS TUNES

KISS - Only You
Hole - Violet
Fugies - Ready or Not
Marilyn Manson & The Sneaker Pimps -
Long Hard Road Out Of Hell
Alice Cooper - I Like Girls
Tricky - Christiansands
Madonna - Frozen

CHANGE YOUR WHAT?

Had the day off today. I purposely got very little sleep last night so that I could get myself back into "school-work" mode. By that I mean being able to get to sleep at a semi-normal hour and get up so that I can get the kids to school. If I didn't sleep today I should be able to sleep tonight. I have been staying up until 4:30 a.m. and sleeping until noon for the past two weeks. I have to get up at that time tomorrow morning and go to work so hopefully I can get to bed by 9:00 p.m. or so tonight. I neet to successfully change my sleeping patterns.

INTERNET RADIO

Listened to internet radio shows mostly all day. Found a station called RADIO FREE SATAN on LIVE 365. Everything from interviews to music are included on this channel. I heard interviews with Ronnie James Dio, Penn Jillette (Penn &Teller), Gidget Gien (ex-Marilyn Manson guitarist), and someone else that is slipping my mind. Penn Jillette is one smart cookie! I heard music from bands like The Cramps, Cradle of Filth, King Diamond, Puffball, and The New Bomb Turks. Over all it was pretty entertaining. A couple of shows I didn't care that much for, but I was able to sit here, read, and listen all at the same time. Other than that I did a whole lot of nothing. I did make chicken fried steak, green beans, and mashed potatoes with gravy for this evenings meal. Very Midwest but very kick ass! I'm off to bed now.

WEDDING

Last nights wedding was a bit odd. They had a shot of vodka for everyone as they came in the room, a first. They all drank a lot. There was a lady in my section who was just blitzed. It's funny watching really drunk people try to eat. She was trying to eat a piece of wedding cake and she was either really enjoying it or she was pretending to. Regardless, it was fairly comical because she looked like she was caught somewhere between stubbing her toe and an orgasm. Watching her on the dance floor was also comical, you can tell someone grew up in the late 60's early 70's by the way they dance. I don't think dancing under the influence always a good idea. There is something unholy about an intoxicated 60 year old woman shaking her groove-thing to the Rolling Stones. An extremely bizarre moment was when this really nerdy looking young teen age girl was trying to dance with this older 40 something gentleman. She was very klutzy and he was trying to help her dance and not look like an idiot. He would spin her around and she would almost fall over and start dragging him down in the process. This is where it got odd, because he would try to recover from one of her little maneuvers he would end up groping her. I think some of it was on purpose. Then I had to learn a lesson about eating in the cafeteria at work. I say it all of the time, I'm not going to eat the food in there! But then I do and I regret it later. Seven hours later I was sicker than a dog. I have basically been off for two weeks, and felt fine, but the second I go to work and eat the food in the cafeteria my intestinal tract becomes possessed by the devil. I'll spare you the details, they are interesting but unnecessary. Anyway, that last hour was difficult but I made it through. I got home at 1:30 a.m. and then watched the uncensored version of American Wedding. I was laughing harder than hell. I'm a sucker for potty humor. The bachelor party scene was just beyond funny. Anyway, I got to get ready to go back to work now, going to be anther long night! I swear I'm not eating at work tonight!!

BACK TO WORK

I'm thrilled to death because I'm going back to work! Business picks back up today and then it's back to a regular paycheck. I'm working a wedding tonight. I'm sure I'll be bitching and moaning real soon about how tired I am or how busy we are. A whole lot less things should break down this year I hope. Both Dane and little Billy both decided to drop down to part time so our crew is now down about five people. That should mean more work for me. I might actually be able to see the new Lord of the Rings movie in about a week.Wish me luck this year, I'm going to need it.

NEW BLOG

Added a new blog to the blog roll today. It's called The Dumbass Daily and it takes and exposes some idiot on a daily basis. Just click on the link on the right side of the page in my blogrool.

FENLSER'S GI JOE

Anyone seen the parody cartoons of the old G.I. Joe cartoons that Eric Fenlser did? God, I watched these over and over until I almost pissed my pants. You can find a few of them here at Heavengallery which is the official page. The most I found in one page was RIGHT HERE. You can find more of the same, and a few others HERE from the eBaum's World funny media page. Book mark that one because it's loaded with funny stuff. I also found more in this directory on the internet. The #2 .avi in that directory is the Pork Chop Sandwiches clip. There's a file of that clip on one of these sites that you actually have to have a divx player to see it, but this one works fine in Winamp or Windows media. Yet MORE of these at Rip-o-Lot. I found a hard to get one AT THIS place. It's the House Fire clip. After you have watched them and want to know what the clips were originally about you can click THIS PAGE for an explanation of each cartoon. I hope you enjoy these half as much as I did, and if you enjoy them as much as I did let me know. I'm serious, I would love to know what you thought of these clips. I am actually making a song based on The Computer clip, it's not as good as the one you find on Fenlser's page, but it's turning out pretty good. My favorites are Pork Chop Sandwiches, I'm A Computer, The Reggae Bus Ride Song, and The Frozen Ice. I'm a strange cat though and this is what tickles my funny bone. Well, I did a lot of homework for someone out there because a lot of people are looking for these clips of GI Joe by Eric Fenlser and I did better than most, finding about 14 out of the 25 he originally made. I even have the Gay Sailboat clip! Enjoy, I'll update if I find any more, unless you know where I can find the rest, please E-mail me if you do. Check back here often!!!!

HAPPY NEWYEAR!

Happy new year to all of those who read this page on a regular basis, and to those of you who are coming here for your first time! I tried to post yesterday but between Blogger acting weird, and my computer crashing I kept loosing my post. I lost it three times! The third time I just said fuck it! What was wrong you might ask? Well as far as my computer goes someone installed Gator on it and it kept crashing on me. Well, I have spybot search and destroy and it took care of that damn gator!

WINAMP 5.0

Something I did install that I like is the new version of WINAMP. It's pretty sharp! I've been watching internet t.v. and listening to internet radio on it. No, I haven't been watching the porn, but I did check it out. Pretty weak. Anyway, there is a skin called MMD3 that works real well with it, Something I also learned is that Winamp won't play an entire C.D.all the way through! It only plays the tracks separately so you have to install a plug-in that kind of cuts out the gap between the songs (like on Pink Floyd albums) where there normally isn't one. I found the best way around this is to choose the direct sound output, then turn on crossfade and have it set at level two. It's not entirely smooth but works good enough until Winamp pulls their head out of their asses an makes it a standard. I'm trying not to use Microsoft Media player anymore than I have to.