PHONES RINGING

I want to apologize to the phone solicitor that called my house. I know your just trying to make your minimum wage by calling up busy people and trying to sell them the local paper, but you need to hang up when the person on the other end fucks with you. I'm sorry I asked you to come over and fuck me up the ass. I'm sorry I mocked your seven day - thirteen week special, and that I said it would be special if you came over and fucked me, but really, just hang up when you get flustered. I'm sorry I accused you of wanting to come over and do me like a schoolgirl when you asked for my address, and that I lied and said my name was Ted Johnson. I'm also sorry you called in your supervisor and that I told him you were trying to date rape me. Next time just hang up, or do yourself a favor and remove me from your precious little phone list. Oh, I also lied when I said I'd been had by the entire U of A football team, I'm just a tease.

I HAD GAS

O.k. this is the lowdown, the gas company came to my house and turned off my gas. My pipes were corroded and dangerous I can comprehend that, but why the hell do they come to their customers and try to rape them in the process? Seriously, $700 to fix a gas line? Well, I've been talking to people who can do this job and they are telling me that the gas company is trying to do me up the ass without any lubricant and failing to give me a well deserved reach around in the process. So Luis and I started digging the trench this evening and we will finish it in the morning. I have a plumber coming to give me an estimate in the morning to put the pipe in. So it should end up costing me less than $300 in the long run. So I feel better about that. My car on the other hand started making the worst noise in the world a few nights ago. On the way to the mechanic it stopped making the noise and seems fine now; He's going to take a look at it to see if the belt is just loose or not. I hope nothing is wrong, I just couldn't afford it. Are there any millionaires out there that have any spare cash they want to throw at a helpless blatherskite? I need it if you don't want it, seriously!

POPPIES WILL MAKE THEM SLEEP

I've been sleeping better than I have in a long time. I have been getting to bed around ten or so and getting at least eight hours of sleep for a change.  Why? Who the hell knows. I'm going to enjoy it while it lasts.