CAR TROUBLE

I'm so angry I could piss nails. I just spent the last hour and a half trying to get home. On the way home tonight my car decided to play dead. It's got to be electrical because the lights went dim, then no power. So I was going to try and thumb it into the city but being on the upscale side of town nobody wanted to stop and give me a ride. Remember, this is outside of town in the foothills and it's pitch black out there at night because there are no street lights. I started walking, thumb stuck out at some feeble attempt to attract attention (don't try this at home kids, it doesn't work) when after about half a mile later I gave up and approached someone's home and rang the door bell. Let me tell you something, these people were the nicest most genuine people I've met in a long time. I'm not just saying that because they helped me, they were super nice, all smiles, talked about the Resort because they saw the logo on my shirt, and offered help without looking bothered. They lent me their phone to call Josie then gave me a flash light and a ride back to my car to wait for her. Josie wasn't too thrilled about what had transpired so I told her to blame Jesus, because all things work to glorify him and complete his will. Yeah, whatever. So I returned the flashlight and made it safely back home.

SO IT WAS...

Tom is going to pick Josie up and give her a ride to work in the morning so that I can have a car. Tom's good people. Tom sounds a bit like a disgruntled and yet semi-retarded Jimmy Stuart. I'm not kidding, that's just how he sounds. I remember the first day I worked with him and the rest of the crew about eleven years ago. Everyone was doing that Jimmy Stuart voice, mocking the way Tom speaks but I didn't know, I just thought it was some new "in" thing that the general herd did to amuse themselves. So here I am talking back that way to Tom, thinking he too was in on the fun and games but not realizing that it was mockery. It wasn't until I did this again in front of Tom and a host of others that I was pulled aside and let in on the dark secret. Poor Tom. Tom slowly drove me insane for the next couple of years until I changed positions at work and started working the food service side of banquets. I also have to tell you about his signature move! To do it just do the voice saying, "So it was," while you make your hand like your hitching a ride (common theme tonight,) invert the thumb and jab your thumb into your ribs just under your armpit. He does this a lot, who knows why. It's like a nervous habit. Anyway, he's a good guy. God I'm still angry!