BACK IN BLACK

Aright bitches, been a bit busy at work but that is o.k. because I need the money so bad that it hurts. A lot of things happening all of a sudden, funny how it all happens at once. We got a new Teacup Chihuahua from my niece two days ago. Her husband found it wondering the streets a couple of weeks ago and picked it up then took it home. I don't think this dog has been being fed properly for a long time because he's pretty skinny and he is a small dog. This little guy is so tiny that we named him just that, Tiny. He's the most lovable little dog I've ever had, I'm not fucking with you! God, what a stroke of good luck, he's a great dog. I have to add this before I post this. Miranda and I just discovered that this dog will not respond to any given name we have thrown out to him other than Killer. Funny but true. I think Tiny just became Killer. Not my choice but he seems to respond to this. Very funny anyway. I wonder why someone would let this dog just wander around and not feed it or take him to a shelter or something. He has already gained some weight and is eating well now. On the other hand Nala, our Labrador mix is sick and I think we are going to have to put her down soon. Josie doesn't want to but Nala has cancer on her nose and it's getting worse. The vet told us nothing could be done. Her poor nose hurts her bad enough and if she starts to act real sick I'm not going to let her suffer. When that happens this room is going to be converted to a bedroom office for yours truly. Right now it's the dogs room and my computer room. I love my wife but I also love to sleep by myself. She knows where to find me for all that hot sex action that you read about in Penthouse magazine anyway so don't you fret! She came home early today from work and this is how it went:

Dear Penthouse,

I have to share this story with you and please let your readers know this is a true account of my passion, not just some steamy story dreamt up for your avid readers. This morning I was doing a whole lot of nothing. I live in the desert and it's been raining for two days now so there wasn't much going on for me on my day off from work other than listening to music and watching television. I decided at one point to get up and clean the house so that my wife would find it to her liking when she got home from work. This was an easy task seeing that my wife is a clean freak and I only had to straighten up and do some dishes. As soon as I had achieved this small task I decided to take a shower. I put on some music relatively loud so that I could hear it above the splashing water in the shower. I started to lather my body up with a rather nicely scented men's soap, slowly working the silky suds all over my body. The hot water caressed me from behind as the steam seemed to penetrate my every pore. Suddenly a voice from beyond the shower curtain whispered "I'm home from work already, are you ready?" My wife emerged naked from behind this curtain. She gazed into my eyes as her fragile hands grasped at my nine inches of manhood.....

Now it really did happen this way up to the part where my wife walked into the bathroom and announced she was home early. And why does the guy always have a nine inch cock in those stories? Needless to say, I got lucky this morning and it was whole lot of fun being able to have sex without any kids knocking on locked doors or being afraid of making a little noise and waking the kids up. I may be hearing things but I think my wife called me Captain Carl at one point. I need glasses.

INSTANT MESSAGE I JUST GOT

Darcy76543210211:

Hey shyven1666,

Gay men who do the nasty on a bus! This site is a MUST see!!!!

Ah..... Gee...... Thanks?

WORK

Dana Carvey was the entertainment last night at the dinner we served for Information Week. Hewlett Packard was the sponsor for last nights dinner and they spent some major bucks. Last year they had Bill Cosby. Anyway, Dana Carvey was hilarious, the meeting planners told me I rocked, and I had it out with one of the old hags at work so it was a good day. I told an old lady to mind her own business and that I was more than capable of doing my job without comments all day. That's all I said, now she isn't speaking to me. Praise Jesus!

SONGS DU JOUR

Morrisey - We Hate It When Our Friends Become Successful

Crybaby Soundtrack - King Cry Baby

Little Richard - Long Tall Sally

Ween - strap on the jammy pac

The Beatles - I Dig A Pony

King Diamond - The 7th Day Of July 1777

Skinny Puppy - Yes He Ran

Mortiis - Parasite God

Kraftwerk - Antenna