PEOPLE ARE READING THIS BLOG WITH GREAT RESPONSE

Can you believe that people are reading this blog? I'm amazed, and everyone has had nice things to say so far. Guess diving into my little slice of reality is semi-humorous for some. Check out this page: Poet and Peasant. Lynn found my page and left a SHOUT OUT.

MY MOM FOUND THIS BLOG!

My mom found my blog and was a bit socked I guess. Don't think she fully understood that I'm not a Christian and this saddened her. People have to understand that not every person on this continent is Christian, or even God fearing for that matter. I just can't buy into it because it's not logical and trust me I have spent countless hours thinking it all out. Then again, I'm glad I don't live in fear and guilt like I did when I was growing up. The fear of God along with the fear of getting my ass kicked by rednecks because I was different was enough to occupy my brain to the point where I couldn't focus on anything other than comedy and music. I'm in a better place now. It's a place for me, and no one else.

SHAVING RYAN'S PRIVATES?

Boy did today go fast! Worked a four and one half hour shift with Yolanda C. Today. Talk about a moody carictor! Never did figure out what kind of mood she was in. Mood swing up and then back down. Mood swing right, mood swing left. Dennis caught up with me at one point outside the Murphey bathrooms. Started talking about Stacy Keibler on WWE RAW last night. I had to go to the bathroom so bad I couldn't help but cut him off mid sentence and assume def con 4 position in stall #2! It was the only reason I was down there anyway. Needless to say I had what I think is called a "back wetter." You know that feeling you get when you ride a bike through the mud and.... Well, you get the drift. Some poor guy came in and sat in handicap stall #1 and must have been freaking out with me reenacting the whole Omaha Beach scene from "Saving Private Ryan" with my anus. The horror... THE HORROR!!!

TRIP TO THE GROCERY STORE

On the way home I stopped at Fry's Grocery Store to get some buns and lettuce for turkey burgers. They look like they are about halfway through remodeling. It's going to look nice when they are done, that's for sure. As I was checking out, some young guy started up a dialog with me about the new Sports Illustrated swimsuit issue. He was ranting about the light beer adds in the magazine and how that you don't want to hang out with hot chicks and drink light beer. I had to agree. He said something about hard liquor and I wanted to say something about his mom being a hard licker (you know how I love Mom jokes!) but I just didn't know him well enough to toss it out at him.

MOM JOKES

I did get Tom Ellis good two days ago during setup for that U of A awards dinner. I had dropped a couple of coffee saucers on the carpet, and Tom, sounding like a retarded Jimmy Stuart (as he always does), does that barking laugh and states the obvious, "Yeah, so you dropped some plates didn't ya, Baharhar... har har." I replied instantly, "Yes, they dropped faster than your mom's panties, didn't they!" That got a pretty decent laugh from the people who were in the vicinity. The scary thought is that I know Tom's mother, and I can't imagine her panties hitting the floor. God take me the day I have to live through that!!!