IT'S A WEDDING

Oy Vey! There is going to be a wedding taking place in my back yard tomorrow night, reception dinner and all. It's not like I don't work at least one of these types of functions a week, feeding hundreds of people, cutting wedding cake, being doused with horribly overplayed songs like "Celebration" and "The Electric Slide," but to have it happen in your own back yard without any say in how it's going to be run is another thing. My Nephew and his fiancée are just starting out and didn't have the money to put on a real nice wedding in a extremely nice place. Seeing that I have a huge back yard that is pleasantly landscaped with a view of the mountains they thought it would be a great idea to have their wedding and reception in my back yard. So Josie told them yes. So the first step was to have the yard freshly taken care of so that it would look real nice for tomorrow, and Luis (Josie's brother) volunteered to do that this morning but he never showed up. Later on my Nephew and his parents are coming over to set some stuff up. It's monsoon season and it looks like rain, not sure that is going to work very well. I just hope this thing goes well, I have a weird feeling about all of this. [phone rings] It's Josie's brother, he's on his way over.

FAMILY FEUD

Josie and her sister have not been speaking for months now. Her sister is a liar and a thief. I've helped her out when she was down and out and she repaid me by stealing from us. Last time Josie spoke to her, her sister went off on a tangent about how we think we are so rich and have it all. Well, were not poor but we are not real rich either. I guess if your living on food stamps Josie and I might look like were really rich. Anyway, she flew off the handle and slammed the phone on Josie then never spoke to her again. After that she went around spreading lies about Josie and I telling people in her family that we had been saying awful things about them. She was doing this a week ago and got caught in the lie because she told one of Josie's sisters that Josie had said something awful about her. Her sister said, "That is kind of odd seeing that Josie hasn't spoken to you in about three months." As the story goes her sister is now sorry she has done all of this and called to apologize to Jose. What it really amounts to is that she wants to attend the wedding and the only way she can be here is if she apologizes to Josie. I still don't want here here because I know it's not a heart felt apology but more of a convenient way to attend a wedding she would otherwise had to have missed. The sad thing is that this will start all over again as soon as Josie has nothing to offer her and Josie's feelings will get smashed again, just like it has dozens of times before. It's and endless loop of stupidity. I'm told she is going to approach me with an apology and when she does I'm going to let her have it. I'm going to tell her like it is. Ladies. start your engines!