MEANWHILE.....

I'm sorry, I know I haven't updated this bitch in a week but between my new found love, my new computer, and work I really haven't found time to blog. Plus, nothing exciting happened at all this past week worth writing about anyway. We did have a huge mortgage group in house that was about 65% women. The highlight of the week was seeing the little red head with the wild curly hair in a bikini! Can you say tight. Good, now can you say Brazilian wax job. Tight, I said TIGHT! I'm playing Diablo II again just for shits-n-giggles and it's a solid game, tons of fun. I can't wait for a third version of this game!

iTUNES

I'm legit yo! I'm paying for music at iTUNES and I have to say I like iTUNES a whole bunch. I can rip mp3s like mad and it's pretty quick. If your in Tucson you should come over, bring your music and we will have a ripping party! I'll buy the alcohol and food, you bring your sorry ass and some cool music. Anyway, the one thing I don't like is that the songs I've downloaded so far are in MP4 format and even though I know how to rip them into MP3s I'm wondering if that's the only format you can download onto your computer.

DREAM WEIRDNESS

I was an extremely attractive Arabic woman two nights ago in one of my dreams. It was a very restless sleep I was having and the closer I came to waking up the more attractive I became. Very weird. I also woke myself up talking in my sleep a couple of nights ago. I was praising someone's actions, telling them that they were doing a good job.

TODAY'S COOL TUNES

Cthulhu Dawn - Cradle of Filth
Reptila - The Strokes
Shake Your Groove Thing - Peaches & Herb
Duke of Earl - The Four Tops
Shattered - The Rolling Stones
I'm Free - The Who

MOVIE CLIP

Small clip of the kids I made with a bad web cam and my new computer!

-=-ALIEN MOVIE-=-

TALKING VAGINAS &

   POWER OUTAGES

Wow, I'll say it again, WOW! Last night was as surreal and unorthodox as it gets. First thing was that the function I worked just happened to be a working dinner meeting for a local medical group and pharmaceutical company. We were expecting the pharmaceutical representatives to get  up and sell their product but we had no idea what the drug or topic would be. Well, we started putting down salads and dressing them for the client as they came it. The  group was only about twenty people. One lady came in smelling like yesterdays shrimp cocktail that had sat out in the sun all day. ICK! So I prayed she would sit down and politely consider a nice douche. She sat down and I have no idea if she considered the douche or not. The presentation begins, and what they were selling is some kind of estrogen therapy and a new type of vaginally inserted birth control device. That's fine, no one likes a vagina more than I do, but the graphic nature of the dialog that ensued was kind of, I don't know, inappropriate for dinner banter. All was fine and dandy, vagina this and vagina that, dry vagina, wet vagina, bloody vagina, and then a power outage. All went dark. Things were strange enough with pouring people glasses of wine while some 50 something lady talked about everybody's vagina, but then the power outage happened. I even looked around at one point to see where the hidden cameras could be and how long it would be before Allen Funt came around the corner but the power came back on and things were returned back to not so normal. The salad got picked up and we moved on to the entree. More dry vaginas were discussed as well as libido and rubbing viagra cream on ones skin to get you "there" as I drizzled a chile orange reduction sauce atop the filet of beef being served. All of a sudden the speaker started talking about inspecting ones vagina in great detail and talked about how just this very morning she had got out one of her little compact mirrors and inspected...... At that point Shaun and I hightailed it out of the room. It was already a Saturday Night Live skit gone awry but this had topped the cake. Shaun and I giggled like little schoolgirls in the back pantry as their discussion progressed. We made a pact that we were not going back in there until it was time for desert. That portion of the evening had concluded and we went in to clear the room and set up their little desert buffet. In the process one of the ladies came up to me and asked if I had learned anything. In my best Jerry Lewis voice I replied, "BOY! Did I!!" They loaded up on the deserts and proceeded to form small discussion groups. I was on my way out of the room and happened to over hear a sixty year old woman say, "I've noticed that while I insert this into my own vagina I..." I exited the room and didn't go back in.

NEW COMPUTER

Got my new computer! YAY! Works really good but I still need to install a load of shiznit on it. Half-Life II will be out soon too! I'm pretty damn excited anyway.

DREAM WEIRDNESS

Lot's of weird dreams as of late. I was Vince Neil the lead singer for heavy metal band Motly Crue a few nights ago. Very weird dream were I was singing WILD SIDE and getting the audience to participate. Then last night I dreamt that my dad had bought a new car and I was driving it up in the mountains. Somehow the breaks had failed and it started rolling over a curb and over a cliff. I magically was transported outside the car as it went off and smashed into some rocks. I ran like a raving idiot out to the highway and flagged some people down. I realized as some point that I was dreaming and used the whole lucid dreaming thing to get me out of the trouble I was in. Some guy helped me travel back to the past to save the car, which I did and I drove off after I convinced myself to not park the car near the curb. The current time me drove off but the future me was left stranded in a weird space time continuum paradox. I had to sign contracts to travel in time. It was very weird.

YOU'VE GOT TO GO

Josie's mom has been stirring up some shit. Talking behind our backs saying we have problems in areas where we don't, inviting people who are forbidden to be in our house while we are not around. She's so out in a month it's not even funny!

LIBRARY POSTS

I'll post later, I'm at the library writing this and I just lost the whole fucking post. TURDS!

NEW LOOK!

Yes, got bored with the old look so I'm going with something different. I still
need time to tweak  things a bit but I'm happy with the overall look. Let me know what you think.

VIDEO

I saw the video of that American guy being beheaded. Disturbing, and he didn't see it coming. Don't know what else to say, it's war and that's the kind of shit you have to expect. Very disturbed about it though.

HOLD ON ONE SECOND...

A knock on the door last night, it's a deaf teenage girl wearing a Ramones t-shirt. She needs paper so she can convey what she wants to tell me. She writes that she is looking for her dog. A few seconds later a guy walks buy walking three dogs, two on a leash and one following them. She says that's her dog. Well, the guy tells me he's had this dog for 10 years. After the girl sees the tags she realizes this isn't her dog and they both take off as another person approaches. It's a mentally handicapped person who is looking to ride his bike all the way to the other side of town. I try to explain to him how to get there and he suggests that I follow him all the way over there. Can't do it, Brandon is sleeping and Josie isn't home. He wouldn't listen to me so I just had to walk away from this guy and I go back inside. A knock at the door. It's the guy with the dogs holding a piece of paper saying someone found a small dog. I get the paper, run halfway down the street and give it to the deaf girl. No idea what happened after that but I hope she found her dog.

COMING SOON!

My computer is on it's deathbed. The hard drive isn't working well, it's old, the cpu fan is almost dead as is the power source fan and it's running like crap. So I did what I've wanted to do for almost two years, buy a new computer. Looks nice doesn't it! It's a computer from ABS,  P4 3. OE GHz 800 MHz 1 MB L2 with a 120 Gig hard drive and 512 MB DDR, DVD Recorder, 128 MB Graphics card. Man, I'm stoked! And with Half-Life II coming out soon, oh I'm set!! Envy me beeyatch!

S-E-X

It's funny how whenever I mention sex or anything of that sort the hits on this page go up as well as the comments. I was having a great run this week until the crimson tide rolled ashore! Know what I mean? Things are going to get a whole lot better when Josie's mom moves out and the kids are in school. While on the subject, did I ever mention that the first time Josie and I slept together I was so nervous that my stomach became upset. This gives me gas, always and yes, I farted! I blamed it on the dog who had just wandered into the room. Poor Jo-Jo the dog, always the fall guy, or gal I guess. Well, Josie has never let me live that one down. And the movie that was playing on television was The Tenant by Roman Polanski. Weird movie. Freaked me out because at the time my favorite band was SKINNY PUPPY and they had sampled that movie heavily on their Cleanse, Fold, & Manipulate album. We would be going full speed and some line from the movie would pop up that I recognized and I would freeze for a second. It was a totally weird evening I'll never forget.

COMING SOON II

Well, looks like I'll be back in my computer room before long. Josie's mom is moving out. She wants to go back to a life of random abuse and poverty. So be it, it's beyond my control. No dogs will be allowed in the computer room this time around. It's going to be a clean little den with a ceiling fan, a papason chair, maybe a futon bed, a television set, and a computer of course. I can't wait, I'll be able to listen to the radio and music with no problems. Privacy, I can't wait...

KISS HANKS ASS

Remember Kissing Hanks Ass? Pretty funny! Now someone has made a film short out of it. You can download it HERE but be forewarned it's about 17 MB long so if you don't have broadband it's going to take you a long time to get it.

DUBLEYAH

It's sickening that the powers that be are censoring Michael Moore's latest movie because it shows you know who for who he is. Wouldn't want to mess up our tax breaks, would we? Free speech, yeah. So that's the reason we need to keep this buffoon in office? Things have just been peachy since he got into office, and they are getting so much better. I'll stop there, not going to make this a political blog, there are enough of those out there. I'm so sick of the right wing pushing their ideals on us. I spit on your pseudo morality, false fucking half wits! What does W have up his sleeve? He's going to pull something real soon, mark my words!

I BROKE FREE

I called in sick yesterday and I got canceled off of work for today. I was a mess yesterday! An ear infection had my equilibrium all messed up and I couldn't hear well or stand for very long. I slept till 2:00 p.m. as well. The antibiotics kicked in today though and I feel better. So I ended up with three days off and got some rest. I'm so glad I got some time off from work and was able to watch a movie with the kids at home tonight. There are still some nasty days up ahead though. At least I'll have money this summer when there isn't any work at all. Then you'll all have to listen to me bitch about being bored and poor.

THE DEVIL

My wife has been possessed by the devil! A very naughty devil that is!! I have no idea what has gotten into her but I like it what ever it is. Maybe I should stay away from home more often. Very naughty indeed!

ON AND ON.....

Work has still been busier than I would have like it to be. I even kicked two shifts and ended up with almost 60 hours. The combination of long hours and the general environment at work has sucked the life from me, not to mention that the mesquite pollen made me violently ill as well. The doctor gave me a shot of cortisone and that has helped tremendously. Brandon has been getting into some trouble at school all of a sudden. I think he's acting out because I haven't been around the past few weeks. It isn't going to let up until after Mothers Day. Anyway, I'm officially cooked. I need a night out or something. I'll promise to write more on here soon, I just need to get some free time back.

I'M STILL HERE

Oh, it's over! That stretch that nearly killed me at work is finally over! I put in way too many hours at work last week. I feel ill and spent. The mesquite trees pollinating isn't helping things either. I feel like I got ran over just after I smoked about 10 packs of cigarettes. Tonight is the last function of this group that has been in house for the past two weeks. It's been good money but I'm glad to see them go. I want some semblance of freedom back in my life. I want a full day off.

DREAM WEIRDNESS

It's been a weird road down dreamland. Lot's of Christian tainted dreams as of late. Also a butt load of doomsday dreams. One of the dreams I had a couple of nights ago was a nuclear blast that caused parts of the mountains to skid into Tucson and wipe out entire city blocks. I just kind of calmly stood by and thought that this isn't a good thing.

WHAT'S THAT?

Take a look at the Interactive Multi-Lingual Demo. Type in sentences and the computer will speak it back to you. Pretty funny! You can even have it speak in Spanish. I've been calling my friends and leaving weird messages on their phone machines.

NEAR DEATH

Got some sleep last night. This working from 4:15 a.m. to 11:00 p.m. is for the birds. This better be one hell of a tip pool. We have a lot of groups spending a ton of money so it's got to be a good one. The sad thing is that I jump right back into this working all day thing again in about six hours. I will get to sleep Saturday night though. Next week is going to be brutal as well. It's good though, it wasn't so long I was typing here about how poor we were getting from lack of business.

DREAM WEIRDNESS

All my dreams were off the wall last night. The only one I can recall is the one were I was sitting in this huge church with my family. The sermon was about transsexuals and how their sin would damn them to hell. There was a moment of silence and I yell out, "Knock knock!" The preacher asks, "Who's at the door?" I answer back, "I'm a transsexual, can I please come in." Everyone was embarrassed and I was asked to explain why I did this. I told them how hypocritical they all were and they needed to let transsexuals attend their church. This lack of sleep is messing me up mentally.

FUCK ME FREDDY!

Triple shift #1, I'm toast. I have a triple shift tomorrow. I can't imagine how they expect us to do a good job at work in these conditions. So be it. I'm only as good as I can be. Tomorrow I'm going to suck, Wednesday I'll be shit. I worked with the new little Japanese girl tonight. Holy shit! I just gave up at one point. She has no clue what she is doing. I'm off to bed to get my three hours of sleep. I'm toast......

PIMA COUNTY FAIR

Went the fair two nights ago! As you can see it was pretty empty. This picture didn't come out so well either. Opening night isn't the prime night to go I guess. Brandon went on some rides, Miranda didn't want to do anything. We ate nasty food that gave me the shits real bad. We actually ate in the employee area, it was pretty funny. They didn't kick us out and they sold us discount sodas. I ran into a girl I used to work with at Ventana Canyon Resort about 13 years ago. Her name is Robin and she was operating the Karaoke machine in the beer garden. Too funny!

WORK AND HELL

I have more shifts to work starting tomorrow than I've ever had before. I have to be back to work in less than five hours so I won't be sleeping a whole lot tonight. I will be sleeping tomorrow in the afternoon because it will be the last chance for me to get more than a couple of hours sleep until Wednesday! I have a feeling some people will either drop dead at work or get fired this coming week. One of the people I thought would get fired before now almost did the job today. I'm hoping next week is the week this person does themselves in. I will post as often as I can this week. Oh, it's going to be ugly!

D DAY

Spent Tuesday (my day off) with Dennis. First time I've spent any time with him since he got fired. We had a good time shooting the shit, went bowling and I bowled horribly. I bowled 118 for my first and last games and 126 for the middle game. Horrible. I blame my posture for most of it, and the lanes were too oily and I couldn't get my ball to hook properly. Then we went to the mall to people watch and look around at Boarders. I bought Stephen Kings Dream Catcher and The Green Mile. We ate over priced mall Chinese food, that sucked, then I had to run home and pick up Brandon from School. Then it was off to take Josie to see the Doctor for a routine checkup. He's my doctor as well and gave me a lecture on being overweight and eating smaller portions. I know all of this already, I know I'm overweight, I know I don't exercise enough, I know all of this. Hey, I work around food all day just about every day. It's great food too, it's not your run of the mill hotel food, or even resort food as far as it goes. The food at work is excellent, my wife doesn't cook so I enjoy great food that I don't have to cook when I have the opportunity! I do need to loose weight though.

MILITARY

Who out there is reading this blog that is in the military? I keep getting hits on this blog from a navy computer. Identify yourself!

MORE AND MORE DREAM WEIRDNESS

The weird dreams continue. I was trying to find a clock in my dreams the other night and every time I did the time read different. Spent a long time doing this. Also had a dream where they were making porn movies. The deeper my sleep was the better the movies were, every time I was about to wake up they lessened in quality. Now, there wasn't any porn action in this dream, they were printing the movies to sell. Weird. I will say this one thing, I'm friends with a lot of hot chicks in the dream world, so I've got that going for me.

HAPPY DAY OF
THE LIVING DEAD

Was it Jesus who came back from the dead or was it this guy? Isn't he dead yet? Man, it's got to be check out time, seriously! This is one of the last people I'd hand my kid over to. That poor little kid.

TUCSON DRIVERS SUCK

I've almost gotten into serious accidents twice in the past two days. Last night I was driving home from work and some asshole with California license plates cuts me off and almost causes me to smash into the median. I was going to post his plate here but I got back at that fucker. I got ahead of him at the next light then slowed down and wouldn't let him pass. I know I got back at him because he tried to follow me home after that. Good fun. Then on the way home today I'm going down far north Craycroft heading south. There is only two lanes and some fuckoff thought it was a good time to pass a car and came at me head on. I had to hit my breaks and go into the dirt or it would have been a head on collision. I so wish I could have turned around and followed that car to the next light! Some motherfucker would have gotten bitch slapped!

DREAM WEIRDNESS

Make it stop! What in the fuck do these aliens want? It's been just about every night as of late. Very weird dreams, too weird to post.. No, no anal probing or anything like that, more like end of the world stuff.

FRESH HOLES

So the FCC is turning into Big Brother. They don't want Howard Stern talking about minty fresh pie holes or anal sex. George Bush and his ilk are using the FCC to play the part of Big Brother, how lovely. And to think that a little nipple started this landslide. I can't believe there are so many people that are offended over this shit. Hell, why don't you all just crawl in a hole with your bibles and wait for the end? Wouldn't it all be better that way? I'm tired of this bullshit pseudo morality. If you don't like it, turn the goddamned channel! It's a lot like my blog, if I offend you then you shouldn't be reading this because I'm one of the godless heathens. You might be lead astray by reading this and you will die a nasty eternity in a fiery pit created by a loving god. Now nobody take that personal! That's only directed at the frightened rabble.  If I were Howard I'd move to satellite and internet radio.

DREAM WEIRDNESS

Boy, very weird. I dreamt that I was sucking up to the cooperate heads over at FUSE for some reason? Maybe it's because I want Juliya Chernetsky in a big way and this was the only way to get her. Who knows. I also had a dream that Paul Numan and James Cahn were in a new movie. They were wearing facials and talking about canning. Now, either I've fucking lost it or I'm being forced to watch way too much Lifetime for women television. The gray aliens have been at the center of my dreams a lot as well.

UNDER CONSTRUCTION

We started ripping out all of the carpet and chiseling out the old 1950's style tile that cascades throughout the house underneath it. Ugly, ugly tile! It's this horrid gray color with speckles in it. Ugly! We bought a southwest style of ceramic tile that is going to be placed down and make the house look a whole lot nicer. So we are going to live in a construction zone for the next couple of months. Josie has no idea what she has gotten herself into.

WTF?

In traffic yesterday I look over and this skinny bearded guy next to me at a red light is simulating oral sex on a straw. What in the hell is that all about? Seriously! I wanted to yell something out my window but I was too flabbergasted to say anything.

LUNCH

I'm invited to a luncheon with the managers of the resort on Friday. I'm being recognized for something, not sure what just yet but I have an idea. I will write about it after the fact.

DICK

Found this song DICK IS A KILLER via Idle Type, one of my favorite blogs. It's the President doing the vocals for this nifty little dance tune. Funny how you can manipulate words and phrases to say entirely different things. Anyway, the song came from THIS web site.

TIRED

Lack of sleep, you know all about it if you have been reading this blog for a while. It's 10:00 a.m. and I'm going to go take a nap.

THAT'S WHAT YOU GET

I'm laughing my ass off at CNN, FOX, and MSNBC for spending hours on this story about Audrey Seiler being abducted. It serves them right for exploiting the hardship being experienced by everyday people. I'm sick of the breaking news attitude adopted by the media in the United States. I'd say 95% of the time their breaking news is pure crap! Audrey Seiler your a loony, but your my hero!

WAR

The war at work trudges on but I'm keeping my mouth shut and my nose clean. I'm going to let the nasty people do themselves in. They are doing a good job of it.

RAIN

We are being pelted with rain! It's chilly, it's rainy, and this should keep me from having to work outside tomorrow. Thank you mother nature!

BREAKING NEWS!

I'm done posting for today. I'm going to go take a shit now, film at 11:00!!!

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57 WAYS TO LEAVE YOUR LOVER

It's hard to use ketchup or even Heinz 57 sauce because of my dad. Every time I went to use either of these lovely condiments I got a lecture about how to properly extrude these substances from their glass containers. Not almost every time, but EVERY time! If you were here I would show you how to do it, but your not so try and imagine if you can me holding a bottle of ketchup a little less than horizontally. Now, hit the bottle in the side facing down, NO! NOT LIKE THAT! I'm happy as hell my dad wasn't around while I was wiping my ass because I don't think I could have done that right either.

ROCK STAR UPDATE

Miranda is playing with the guitar quite a bit. Lessons will be in order soon. It's getting to the point where headphones will be necessary soon because the same notes being played over and over are almost maddening!

THE PASSION

I'm listening to audio tracts taken from the movie on a radio show. I'm failing to see anything passionate about knocking the shit out of someone. I'm thinking of making a short film of myself taking a dump and calling it THE CANDY STORE.

SMALL TOWN, USA

This is a picture of people in the town where I grew up in Nebraska. Is it any wonder I almost went mad? Take a gander at the modern style and fashion. Even after 20 years of not living there I'm still thankful I took a gamble and moved to Tucson without ever being here before. It paid off!

ROCK GODDESS

Look at what Miranda got yesterday!  I'm investing in my retirement. She makes it real big, I get to retire early.