A NICE DAY OFF

Dead Baby Dress Up Fun!!!

I'm spending my day off being lazy and just plain fucking around. Notice the super hero I created via This Is A Cry For Help under the Super Hero Baby Dress up game. I love this site! Anyway, I'm still feeling a little sick due to this cold. I'm starving as well, I need to go make lunch soon.

MIRANDA

Miranda brought home her first failing grades ever this week. She's been a A and B student, always. Suddenly she misses a test, and some other stuff in Spanish. She also has a crush on a boy but doesn't know I know. His name is Pedro and I'm not telling her how I found out. This shit comes to an end now or I'm going to have to become an un-cool dad and take some things away.

Our house is back to normal. Click on picture for larger view.

THE COMMON COLD

It's been a great four days!

Ah, what can be said of the common cold? It sucks! Started feeling sick Thursday night and was pretty sick all day Saturday. Been working a lot of hours as of late as well. I feel pretty good today though and I'm just about to go to bed to to get a decent amount of sleep so that I can kill this thing.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY

It was Miranda's Birthday today. She's 14 years old now. Fuck, I'm starting to feel old.

JOB

May be applying for a new job within a couple of weeks. Will keep you all posted. It would be a good opportunity for me in the long run. We shall see.

Only had an hour for a break from work and what am I doing to kill my time?

PRAISE THE LORD!

Yes Jesus loves me, the Bible tells me so...

So Paul Crouch, the owner and preacher on TBN, [CLICK HERE FOR STORY] paid some drug addict almost half a million dollars so that he wouldn't sue him and would also keep quite about the gay sex they were having? All I am going to say about this is that I'm not surprised. Have you ever watched this buffoon on television before? Are people really that fucking stupid? Would you really send this pasty douche bag money? What would Jesus do? If I were Jesus I would kick his ass just for pimping me out on a daily basis.

SUPER SIZE ME BITCH!

I wanted a super sized Big Mac meal today but was informed that they no longer give you super sized french fries because some fat guy tried to sue Mc Donald's for making him fat. Give me a fucking break! You have a choice, eat at Mc D's or don't eat at Micky D's. Oh, try and get your fat ass a salad once in a while you fat fucker! I'm tired of you lazy fuckers fucking up my daily existence. I can't have super sized french fries now because of some lazy, greedy, fat fucker. I can't watch Beavis and Butthead say the word FIRE because some little needle dicked no brain dip shit kid lit his house on fire. I can't listen to my favorite music without being warned because Tipper Gore got her twat all knotted up over some Twisted Sister songs. Get some self control you worthless assholes! Stop fucking things up for the rest of us who are smart enough to know better. Now why don't you go and give that Drano enema a try and see what happens, stupid fucks.

3 YEARS LATER...

And who stood to get rich over all this? 

It was three years ago today that I woke up to my alarm clock and a very distraught looking Miranda. I had told her the night before that I needed sleep because I had been working so much and that I didn't care what happen she was informed not to wake me up, under any circumstances. "You had better come an see what's happening on t.v. dad, I think something blew up." I couldn't focus very well, I had only had about six hours of sleep and I was very groggy. "What the fuck is this?" I thought to myself as I looked at the first tower smoking. "Holy Shit! They must  have bombed the World Trade Center again!" I said out loud. Then another angle showed the second tower along with the first, both smoking. "Holy Fuck! They bombed both buildings!" I exclaimed putting my hand over my mouth and kind of not believing anything I was seeing. Then they started playing another tape of the second plain hitting the second tower. I sat down and must have said the words FUCK and HOLY SHIT over and over. I remember telling the kids how bad this was, how this was going to affect the economy. In a haze I remember getting Miranda to school and Brandon to Tia Lina's house because he hadn't started school quite yet. Then getting to work and seeing the horrified faces not just of my fellow co-workers but also of the guest we had sitting in the ballroom watching the news on big screen televisions that were set up for presentations of new technologies, not mass mayhem and destruction. Awe and disbelief covered the faces of the many people sitting there staring while others wept and tried to make phone calls on the cellular phones. I was given the option of going home but chose to stay and try and feed the few clients that had shown up to be fed. I remember thinking to myself, and even telling a few people that this was the best day of Gary Condit's life. He had been the focus of the media and they were relentless. I think I called it when I said nobody would even remember his name after that day. There were a lot of rumors floating around on the news, a lot of confusion, I knew I wouldn't be sleeping much that night. I stayed up most of the night and laid on the sofa all the next day totally in shock. Three years later and I know a few things about our President that doesn't sit well with me. I'm sickened by it to tell you the truth. I'm going to spend the majority of the day watching memorial shows and then later at work I'll be feeding the crew that is setting up a show for a big name car company that is in house that I won't mention, but I will say they make high end automobiles and it starts with the letter V. It's going to be a busy week. Oh, and one last thing (tangent), are you going to be surprised when they wheel out Bin Laden right before the election and pretend that he has just been caught? Call it another prediction.

I'M THE DEVIL!

Mr. Devil to you... 

I won tickets to go see RESIDENT EVIL II: THE APOCALYPSE today. The FRANK SHOW on KFMA was asking people to call in and confess the most evil thing they had ever done. I didn't have anything real evil, but I did call about what I used to do back in the mid 80's when I was really bored. I would call up a certain Catholic church and leave messages on their answering machine with an altered voice. I would use a pitch shifter to make my voice real deep and scary and then would leave a message from Satan about how I really wanted some tasty wafers to go with my Cheese Wiz. I would also call up some place called Carpet Crafts or Carpet Crafters (it's been 20 years) at night and leave messages in the same voice as the Carpet Craft Master. I would tell them to steal the souls of the un-expecting with their weaving skills. I was bored and stoned on a regular basis back then.

TILE

Dining area 

It's finally done! Looks nice, Doesn't it?

FUCK MICROSOFT!

Thanks you Bill G. for crashing my computer and causing the loss of a lot of valuable data. Your latest service pack surely did service me. The next best thing to you servicing me would have been a lightly greased fist penetrating my ass at mach speeds. Thanks for the fist fucking and frustration Bill. Fucking Bastard!

WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?

Well, it goes like this. My damn windows update thing has been bugging the hell out of me about the new service pack update. I decided to give in. Windows then proceeded to change things around, install a bunch of things, and then render my computer useless upon reboot. I couldn't even get a simple DOS prompt (C:\) and after two hours on the phone, most of that waiting to talk to someone, I just gave up and used the recovery disk that set my computer up to the factory settings. Well, this erased everything. Pictures, games, porn, you name it! The kicker in this whole thing is Microsoft tech support is out of India! YES, India!!! The poor lady on the other end had no clue what was going on, could only read what her computer monitor was telling her to repeat, and was absolutely no help. Well, at least the tile work in my house should be done by tomorrow. I've got that going for me!

WAITING FOR THE WIND

By: Joe Oxford
(Written on a BBS around 1993)

Texas corncob built for two,
Week long bike race inside a zoo,
Melvin the monkey isn't quite through,
Waiting for the wind.


Velvet turnpike makes your head spin,
Nocturnal outpost soon lets you in,
Last in the game but your going to win,
Waiting for the wind.


Rain isn't welcome and sky turns to grey,
Things are all wrong but it's going my way,
Sad song blue bird is wasting the day,
Waiting for the wind.


Motionless potion sets a new trend,
Spilt on the carpet invoking a friend,
Soon never comes thus beginning the end,
Waiting for the wind.

RELIGION & POLITICS

It's funny how just about every time I speak about religion or politics that I get o comments and the hits on my page fall. Just an observation. Should I just can it on those subjects? Please comment. It's not that I'm going to censor myself or anything like that but I am curious what parts from my life your interested in reading. And if your my brother reading this, e-mail me or leave a comment with your e-mail in it so I have it. Don't think I have the one your using now.

BORED!

I'm pretty bored. I'm also in need of some really hot sex!!! Any takers? Seriously! Last time I had sex (with a person) was about two weeks ago, but it was pretty intense. I can honestly say that doesn't happen often here. I know you all wanted to hear about how horned up I am but I can't help it. I need to go buy some porn on DVD or something.

HOT NATIVE AMERICAN

I saw the most stunning native American girl ever coming out of the new Starbucks coffee place near my home. Absolutely stunning! That's all I have to say about that...

EXPERIMENT

I get most of my hits on this page from perverts. It's true! Because of my foul mouth and weird combination of words I get hits on this page looking for all sorts of weird stuff. So just to see what more I can attract on this page, here is a random assortment of words. Dick, ice, lube, monkey, ass, hot, pickle, tangy, mom, hole, pruned, sheep, fat, sucking, tits, mountain, piss, canned, anal, price tag, flaming, stripping, Asian, free, webcam, loose, hamster.

TILE

Almost done, man! I can't wait!! Looks nice though.

Sorry to be all political all of a sudden, but the truth hurts! 

Asshole 

WHAT A DICK

His actions are still speaking for him. I have nothing nice to say about this guy other than I can't wait for someone else to take his place. He's fucking us so FUCK HIM! Truly a prick.

WEIRD AT WORK

It was a weird night at work tonight. A major cosmetics company (who I won't mention, but it's one of the big ones) was unveiling their new perfume tonight to local retailers. They got free drinks and hor'dourves and completely doused with this new fragrance.It was very much like a pep rally and it was almost too much at one point. They had two dancers, one female and one extremely narcissistic gay male dancer. Dude, get over yourself! So anyway, right in the middle of their dance routine the fire alarm goes off and stays on for a good five minutes. The sweet smell of this extremely expensive perfume, the herky-jerky dancing enhanced with the fire alarm, and the cheesy early 90's dance music made for one of the most surreal moments I've ever had at work.

Used Condoms for sale at AMAZON!!! 

Did you know you can buy used condoms at Amazon? I took a screen shot, click on the picture to inlarge.

E FUCKING Z 

I don't know what to say about this. I think shaving the words dumb and ass would have been more fitting. Seriously!

Before & During 

Brandon standing in the living room talking with the guys doing the tile. It's turning out really nice, going to be well worth it in the long run. Click on the picture for a larger view.

For Christmas PLEASE!!! 

NICE!!

Yes, I'm easy to please so if you want to know what I want for Christmas you won't have to ask.

BULLSHIT

Have you ever watched Penn & Teller's BULLSHIT!? It's my new favorite show on television. Sure I don't agree with everything they say but they have a lot of good points. The two best shows I've seen so far were the shows on obscenity, and the bible. Check it out if you have a chance.

TILE

The tile is being put in as we speak, guess I'll be stuck in here playing poker and various other games to keep myself occupied. Moving furniture sucks cock! Glad this is the only time I'll be doing this. I'll save money on carpet cleaning and replacement of carpet. I was spending about $400 a year to have it cleaned. Oh no, the loud Mexican radio just kicked in. It's going to be a long day1

The Prince of Darkness! 

WTF?

What in hell's name is up with this guy? Not sure if he was feeling evil or just plain sassy! I guess that's what happens when you have too much free time and a digital camera. Forgive me for posting that picture but I just had to do it, and yes I did censor the naughty bits. Oh, and there wasn't that much to censor, I thought I would add extra cover to give the illusion of a giant vampire penis.

TILE

We are finally getting this house tiled starting tomorrow! Can't wait to have a normal looking house again. What is going to be the hitch in this though? Something always goes wrong. What will it be? Stay tuned...

RedRuM 

FUNNY STUFF

Here are some funny things I've seen recently. The first one was found via The Dark Angel Chronicles. It's Angry Alien Productions. There are bunnies acting out movies in thirty seconds. I like The Shining the best. Also, check out the Happy Tree Friends page. Kind of sick but perversely funny.

FIREHOUSE

Was just about asleep last night when I smelled something burning. My first reaction was, "Shit, the house is on fire!" Then I hear the fire department racing down the street. I got my pants on real quick an walked down the street where a neighbors house was burning pretty fiercely. So I go back home, not much I can do. This morning I go by the house and you can't even tell from the outside that it had been on fire. Weird.

KNEE

My knee is pretty fucked up still. I'm going to need to see a specialist about it. Not to happy about this. I can walk okay but if I bend it a certain way or move just the wrong way it hurts. Not good.

I'M BACK

Nebraska Cows 

Yes, good to be back! Vacation was good, but short this year. Josie even had a good time so that is a good sign. Stayed in the crack house again, and nothing weird happened this year. Saw a lot of people I haven't seen in years so that was good. Played poker with my brothers and just hung out for the most part. Did a little bit of the reunion part on the trip back but was more there to see my brothers and parents and to relax. I also had time to let my knee heal from the fall I had on my birthday. It's pretty much back to normal now. The bad thing about the trip is the 22 hours of driving in either direction. Other bad stuff about the trip is the demands and or pressure that was being put on my mother by others who had no clue they were doing any such thing. I say respect other peoples homes and keep the bitching and whining to a minimum. Also, nobody likes tightwad moochers. If you read this and think it's about you, chances are it is. Start thinking a little and don't be so fucking self absorbed. Maybe you should start offering to pay for things once in a while.Also, if you mooch don't be afraid to help around the house and maybe do some dishes once in a while. Oh, there is just as much talk going on behind your backs about you as your doing about others.

R.I.P.

Rick James is dead as is Julia Child. It always happens in threes so who's next, or am I missing  someone here?

DING DONG THE WITCH IS DEAD!

She's out of here! They moved Josie's mom into her own apartment yesterday but not without a lot of complaining. They tried to make Josie feel bad about the whole thing. Still, not a single one of them want her living with them. We gave her mom a couch and a television, and then her family tried to get us to chip in for groceries. What happened to her food stamps? Oh, Nancy (Josie's half-sister) used all $200 for her own use. I'm so glad this isn't going to be on my doorstep on a daily basis from here on out. As a matter of fact, I'm turning the computer off here in a second so that I can move it back into my den. I'm very happy about having my freedom back. I will not be taking anyone into my home anytime soon.

BIRTHDAY TWIST

The 27th was my birthday and I had to work. Well, I only worked 20 minutes before I tripped and sprang my knee. Happy fucking birthday! So I've spent some quality time sitting down and playing the expansion set of Diablo II. I went to the doctor and he said to stay off of the knee. No duh! I also lost more weight so I'm now at 228 lbs. with 48 more to lose.

NEBRASKA

We are off to the Glendy family reunion this week in Burwell Nebraska. I'll be hanging out with my favorite cousins my brothers, and many people I've never even met. It's going to be a blast! I'm also staying in the haunted crack house again. This time I'll have pictures so that you can see this place first hand. This might be he last post for about a week and a half, stay tuned for pictures and stories.

NICE RAINY DAY!

This was the view from my back yard today. We had a nice little rain and  the most perfect rainbow I've ever seen! Took the pictures with my new digital camera.

I'M A DUMB FUCK!

I stabbed myself by accident today. I have cut myself with a knife before, but neverstabbed myself. I was trying to put a hole in a can to relieve pressure (so the food would come out easily) and missed the can. I now have a hole on my left hand between my thumb and index finger. Yes, it's deep and it hurts.