IS THAT A BANANA IN YOUR COAT OR ARE YOU JUST HAPPY TO SEE ME?

And this would be?

Is somebody being fed his lines? Is he wired? You tell me. It's a huge buzz on the internet at the moment. Who knows, who cares. I don't think he's bright enough to stand one on one with Kerry so it wouldn't be a shock if this was happening.

IS THAT A BANANA IN MY PANTS OR ARE YOU JUST PRETENDING NOT TO NOTICE?

There is a guy at work who is acting very right wing and Christian. He has been talking to me about how homophobic he is, how he thinks what gay people do is wrong, how a union between two men can't be called a marriage. So here's the kicker, in the midst of all of this he has been telling me how he want's to be a bar tender at IBT's which is a local gay bar. He has told others that he and his wife go dancing at IBT's. This guy even acts pretty gay sometimes, and I don't think he knows it. Now my question is this, if it's so wrong to be gay, and your so afraid of gay people then why in hell would you want to go dancing in a gay bar or even bring up the idea that you might want to bar tend in a gay bar with your shirt off? A lot of contradiction if you ask me! I think this guy is closeted. Just come out dude, don't be afraid! I'm not buying the Christian act one bit.

SUPERMAN IS DEAD

Long Live Superman!

Well, due to complications of his paralysis, actor Christopher Reeve is dead at the age of 52. Rodney Dangerfield died recently as did Janet Leigh. Weird how these always seem to happen in threes.

DRINKING IS BAD

I got drunk last night, real drunk. I don't hardly ever have more than two drinks in a sitting. Last night I had about six drinks and that put me over the edge! Fat Tire beer on tap is just plain yummy anyway. Never mind the two shots of tequila I did as well. Karaoke ensued. It was a blast. A glass of water and some aspirin along with a hamburger did the trick. Only felt tired today. I don't see how some people can drink like that every day. I'd die within days.

SONG OF THE DAY

Salvation - RANCID

DRUNK!

I'm drunk to the point where I could give a rat's ass if I'm making sense! Boy I'm in love with some of the hot chicks that work with me! I'm very drunk at the moment. Did I mention I could give a shit at the moment! That's the beer talking. I'm going to finish my burger an pass out. Jesus, Love me!!.

SHIT!

It's very early and I have to be to work in 45 minutes. I hate getting up at four a.m.!!! I kicked my breakfast shift for tomorrow, that shit is for the birds. Holy cow, I feel mental...

WORK WORK WORK........

Not much time to post anything. I've been at work, all day long of course, for the past several days. Today will be more of the same. There are a lot of new people working with us which is cool! I call them shit shields. All the shit I was taking last year is being deflected off onto them. It's so nice to be able to be the weird and unusual me without the bitter ones attacking me. Got to run. Don't for get to visit Quality Control! You can find the link in my blog roll on the right hand side of the page. Chow motherfuckers!

QUAKER OATS PLEASE!

Who Knew?

I've been saying this for years, that Ye Old Leader Of Thee Pack's mom looks like the Quaker Oats Guy. The proof is in the pudding.

QUALITY CONTROL ALLIANCE

Fear This!

It's official, I'm a member! We're taking the mindless idiots and followers on and it's all out war!

THE DISTILLERS

She Rocks!

Miranda has the knack for finding some cool bands now and then. The latest find is a little punk ditty called THE DISTILLERS! Holy fuck these guys rock! They go one to prove that yes in deed, girls can rock!! With songs like DRAIN THE BLOOD and THE HUNGER how can they go wrong? It's refreshing to see that punk is still alive and well in this sea of pop drivel. The new Social Distortion is good too, by the way. Check them out if you have Winamp. Just open the media window and click on music videos and then scroll down. Best new band I've heard in a long time.

NOTICE THIS

I got a notice in the mail yesterday about a complaint that I've been working on cars and selling them illegally. I can hardly change the oil let alone fix one of those fuckers! I didn't inherit the "fixing cars" gene or the "my life is dominated by sports" gene as far as that goes. It's amazing I'm still straight after all these years! I held onto the "I dig hot Asian chicks" gene :p. The truth of the matter is that it's my neighbor who is doing this. He lives north east of my back yard and constantly has old shabby pieces of shit cluttering his well maintained (not) yard. You might be a redneck if..... Now if you'll politely excuse me I'm going to go get some sleep. Damn Chinese food we had last night made me ill last night and I couldn't sleep. I'm never eating anything from Golden House ever again.

HAND JOBS

No comment necessary!

[Written Yesterday] Very early this morning, before I had a chance to got to sleep Brandon had fallen asleep in our room watching television with Josie. I couldn't sleep so I was playing games and trying to get my cable modem to work. Around 1:00 a.m. I heard conversation coming from my bedroom. I thought it was Brandon talking and the tone of voice was very troubled. I walk in and everybody is asleep. I figured Brandon was talking in his sleep. I walk back here to the computer room and a few seconds later Josie pops her head in the door and said she was having bad dreams and she couldn't go to sleep without me going with her. I go to bed a few minutes later and ask her why she is so scared. She said she had been dreaming that a tall naked guy was chasing her around the house with a belt demanding that she give him a hand job. I found this amusing as hell but she was pretty traumatized and was even sobbing. It was all I could do to keep from laughing and ended up back in here just because of that.

I LOVE YVONNE

AND SO CAN YOU FOR $19.95!

LOVE HER!!!!!

Just kidding! I truly do love Yvonne! I've been reading her blog almost a year and a half now and she always seems to put a smile on my face. It's "I LOVE YVONNE WEEK" anyway and I'm expressing my love. Go read her blog, DO IT NOW!!!!! She love you long time...

CABLE MODEM

One of my new best friends...

My cable modem took a dump on me yesterday. It was a Toshiba PCX 1100 and had worked kind of poorly most of the time I had it. It's been playing this invisibility game with my computer ever since I've had it. Works for a while then the computer can no longer recognize it and I have no connection. Yesterday it decided it wasn't going to work for more than five minutes at a time. That was it, I threw that piece of shit in the trash. I now have a new Linksys BEFCMU10 cable modem and everything seems to be working fine.

A NICE DAY OFF

Dead Baby Dress Up Fun!!!

I'm spending my day off being lazy and just plain fucking around. Notice the super hero I created via This Is A Cry For Help under the Super Hero Baby Dress up game. I love this site! Anyway, I'm still feeling a little sick due to this cold. I'm starving as well, I need to go make lunch soon.

MIRANDA

Miranda brought home her first failing grades ever this week. She's been a A and B student, always. Suddenly she misses a test, and some other stuff in Spanish. She also has a crush on a boy but doesn't know I know. His name is Pedro and I'm not telling her how I found out. This shit comes to an end now or I'm going to have to become an un-cool dad and take some things away.

Our house is back to normal. Click on picture for larger view.

THE COMMON COLD

It's been a great four days!

Ah, what can be said of the common cold? It sucks! Started feeling sick Thursday night and was pretty sick all day Saturday. Been working a lot of hours as of late as well. I feel pretty good today though and I'm just about to go to bed to to get a decent amount of sleep so that I can kill this thing.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY

It was Miranda's Birthday today. She's 14 years old now. Fuck, I'm starting to feel old.

JOB

May be applying for a new job within a couple of weeks. Will keep you all posted. It would be a good opportunity for me in the long run. We shall see.

Only had an hour for a break from work and what am I doing to kill my time?

PRAISE THE LORD!

Yes Jesus loves me, the Bible tells me so...

So Paul Crouch, the owner and preacher on TBN, [CLICK HERE FOR STORY] paid some drug addict almost half a million dollars so that he wouldn't sue him and would also keep quite about the gay sex they were having? All I am going to say about this is that I'm not surprised. Have you ever watched this buffoon on television before? Are people really that fucking stupid? Would you really send this pasty douche bag money? What would Jesus do? If I were Jesus I would kick his ass just for pimping me out on a daily basis.

SUPER SIZE ME BITCH!

I wanted a super sized Big Mac meal today but was informed that they no longer give you super sized french fries because some fat guy tried to sue Mc Donald's for making him fat. Give me a fucking break! You have a choice, eat at Mc D's or don't eat at Micky D's. Oh, try and get your fat ass a salad once in a while you fat fucker! I'm tired of you lazy fuckers fucking up my daily existence. I can't have super sized french fries now because of some lazy, greedy, fat fucker. I can't watch Beavis and Butthead say the word FIRE because some little needle dicked no brain dip shit kid lit his house on fire. I can't listen to my favorite music without being warned because Tipper Gore got her twat all knotted up over some Twisted Sister songs. Get some self control you worthless assholes! Stop fucking things up for the rest of us who are smart enough to know better. Now why don't you go and give that Drano enema a try and see what happens, stupid fucks.

3 YEARS LATER...

And who stood to get rich over all this? 

It was three years ago today that I woke up to my alarm clock and a very distraught looking Miranda. I had told her the night before that I needed sleep because I had been working so much and that I didn't care what happen she was informed not to wake me up, under any circumstances. "You had better come an see what's happening on t.v. dad, I think something blew up." I couldn't focus very well, I had only had about six hours of sleep and I was very groggy. "What the fuck is this?" I thought to myself as I looked at the first tower smoking. "Holy Shit! They must  have bombed the World Trade Center again!" I said out loud. Then another angle showed the second tower along with the first, both smoking. "Holy Fuck! They bombed both buildings!" I exclaimed putting my hand over my mouth and kind of not believing anything I was seeing. Then they started playing another tape of the second plain hitting the second tower. I sat down and must have said the words FUCK and HOLY SHIT over and over. I remember telling the kids how bad this was, how this was going to affect the economy. In a haze I remember getting Miranda to school and Brandon to Tia Lina's house because he hadn't started school quite yet. Then getting to work and seeing the horrified faces not just of my fellow co-workers but also of the guest we had sitting in the ballroom watching the news on big screen televisions that were set up for presentations of new technologies, not mass mayhem and destruction. Awe and disbelief covered the faces of the many people sitting there staring while others wept and tried to make phone calls on the cellular phones. I was given the option of going home but chose to stay and try and feed the few clients that had shown up to be fed. I remember thinking to myself, and even telling a few people that this was the best day of Gary Condit's life. He had been the focus of the media and they were relentless. I think I called it when I said nobody would even remember his name after that day. There were a lot of rumors floating around on the news, a lot of confusion, I knew I wouldn't be sleeping much that night. I stayed up most of the night and laid on the sofa all the next day totally in shock. Three years later and I know a few things about our President that doesn't sit well with me. I'm sickened by it to tell you the truth. I'm going to spend the majority of the day watching memorial shows and then later at work I'll be feeding the crew that is setting up a show for a big name car company that is in house that I won't mention, but I will say they make high end automobiles and it starts with the letter V. It's going to be a busy week. Oh, and one last thing (tangent), are you going to be surprised when they wheel out Bin Laden right before the election and pretend that he has just been caught? Call it another prediction.

I'M THE DEVIL!

Mr. Devil to you... 

I won tickets to go see RESIDENT EVIL II: THE APOCALYPSE today. The FRANK SHOW on KFMA was asking people to call in and confess the most evil thing they had ever done. I didn't have anything real evil, but I did call about what I used to do back in the mid 80's when I was really bored. I would call up a certain Catholic church and leave messages on their answering machine with an altered voice. I would use a pitch shifter to make my voice real deep and scary and then would leave a message from Satan about how I really wanted some tasty wafers to go with my Cheese Wiz. I would also call up some place called Carpet Crafts or Carpet Crafters (it's been 20 years) at night and leave messages in the same voice as the Carpet Craft Master. I would tell them to steal the souls of the un-expecting with their weaving skills. I was bored and stoned on a regular basis back then.

TILE

Dining area 

It's finally done! Looks nice, Doesn't it?

FUCK MICROSOFT!

Thanks you Bill G. for crashing my computer and causing the loss of a lot of valuable data. Your latest service pack surely did service me. The next best thing to you servicing me would have been a lightly greased fist penetrating my ass at mach speeds. Thanks for the fist fucking and frustration Bill. Fucking Bastard!

WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?

Well, it goes like this. My damn windows update thing has been bugging the hell out of me about the new service pack update. I decided to give in. Windows then proceeded to change things around, install a bunch of things, and then render my computer useless upon reboot. I couldn't even get a simple DOS prompt (C:\) and after two hours on the phone, most of that waiting to talk to someone, I just gave up and used the recovery disk that set my computer up to the factory settings. Well, this erased everything. Pictures, games, porn, you name it! The kicker in this whole thing is Microsoft tech support is out of India! YES, India!!! The poor lady on the other end had no clue what was going on, could only read what her computer monitor was telling her to repeat, and was absolutely no help. Well, at least the tile work in my house should be done by tomorrow. I've got that going for me!

WAITING FOR THE WIND

By: Joe Oxford
(Written on a BBS around 1993)

Texas corncob built for two,
Week long bike race inside a zoo,
Melvin the monkey isn't quite through,
Waiting for the wind.


Velvet turnpike makes your head spin,
Nocturnal outpost soon lets you in,
Last in the game but your going to win,
Waiting for the wind.


Rain isn't welcome and sky turns to grey,
Things are all wrong but it's going my way,
Sad song blue bird is wasting the day,
Waiting for the wind.


Motionless potion sets a new trend,
Spilt on the carpet invoking a friend,
Soon never comes thus beginning the end,
Waiting for the wind.

RELIGION & POLITICS

It's funny how just about every time I speak about religion or politics that I get o comments and the hits on my page fall. Just an observation. Should I just can it on those subjects? Please comment. It's not that I'm going to censor myself or anything like that but I am curious what parts from my life your interested in reading. And if your my brother reading this, e-mail me or leave a comment with your e-mail in it so I have it. Don't think I have the one your using now.

BORED!

I'm pretty bored. I'm also in need of some really hot sex!!! Any takers? Seriously! Last time I had sex (with a person) was about two weeks ago, but it was pretty intense. I can honestly say that doesn't happen often here. I know you all wanted to hear about how horned up I am but I can't help it. I need to go buy some porn on DVD or something.

HOT NATIVE AMERICAN

I saw the most stunning native American girl ever coming out of the new Starbucks coffee place near my home. Absolutely stunning! That's all I have to say about that...

EXPERIMENT

I get most of my hits on this page from perverts. It's true! Because of my foul mouth and weird combination of words I get hits on this page looking for all sorts of weird stuff. So just to see what more I can attract on this page, here is a random assortment of words. Dick, ice, lube, monkey, ass, hot, pickle, tangy, mom, hole, pruned, sheep, fat, sucking, tits, mountain, piss, canned, anal, price tag, flaming, stripping, Asian, free, webcam, loose, hamster.

TILE

Almost done, man! I can't wait!! Looks nice though.

Sorry to be all political all of a sudden, but the truth hurts! 

Asshole 

WHAT A DICK

His actions are still speaking for him. I have nothing nice to say about this guy other than I can't wait for someone else to take his place. He's fucking us so FUCK HIM! Truly a prick.

WEIRD AT WORK

It was a weird night at work tonight. A major cosmetics company (who I won't mention, but it's one of the big ones) was unveiling their new perfume tonight to local retailers. They got free drinks and hor'dourves and completely doused with this new fragrance.It was very much like a pep rally and it was almost too much at one point. They had two dancers, one female and one extremely narcissistic gay male dancer. Dude, get over yourself! So anyway, right in the middle of their dance routine the fire alarm goes off and stays on for a good five minutes. The sweet smell of this extremely expensive perfume, the herky-jerky dancing enhanced with the fire alarm, and the cheesy early 90's dance music made for one of the most surreal moments I've ever had at work.

Used Condoms for sale at AMAZON!!! 

Did you know you can buy used condoms at Amazon? I took a screen shot, click on the picture to inlarge.

E FUCKING Z 

I don't know what to say about this. I think shaving the words dumb and ass would have been more fitting. Seriously!

Before & During 

Brandon standing in the living room talking with the guys doing the tile. It's turning out really nice, going to be well worth it in the long run. Click on the picture for a larger view.

For Christmas PLEASE!!! 

NICE!!

Yes, I'm easy to please so if you want to know what I want for Christmas you won't have to ask.

BULLSHIT

Have you ever watched Penn & Teller's BULLSHIT!? It's my new favorite show on television. Sure I don't agree with everything they say but they have a lot of good points. The two best shows I've seen so far were the shows on obscenity, and the bible. Check it out if you have a chance.

TILE

The tile is being put in as we speak, guess I'll be stuck in here playing poker and various other games to keep myself occupied. Moving furniture sucks cock! Glad this is the only time I'll be doing this. I'll save money on carpet cleaning and replacement of carpet. I was spending about $400 a year to have it cleaned. Oh no, the loud Mexican radio just kicked in. It's going to be a long day1

The Prince of Darkness! 

WTF?

What in hell's name is up with this guy? Not sure if he was feeling evil or just plain sassy! I guess that's what happens when you have too much free time and a digital camera. Forgive me for posting that picture but I just had to do it, and yes I did censor the naughty bits. Oh, and there wasn't that much to censor, I thought I would add extra cover to give the illusion of a giant vampire penis.

TILE

We are finally getting this house tiled starting tomorrow! Can't wait to have a normal looking house again. What is going to be the hitch in this though? Something always goes wrong. What will it be? Stay tuned...

RedRuM 

FUNNY STUFF

Here are some funny things I've seen recently. The first one was found via The Dark Angel Chronicles. It's Angry Alien Productions. There are bunnies acting out movies in thirty seconds. I like The Shining the best. Also, check out the Happy Tree Friends page. Kind of sick but perversely funny.

FIREHOUSE

Was just about asleep last night when I smelled something burning. My first reaction was, "Shit, the house is on fire!" Then I hear the fire department racing down the street. I got my pants on real quick an walked down the street where a neighbors house was burning pretty fiercely. So I go back home, not much I can do. This morning I go by the house and you can't even tell from the outside that it had been on fire. Weird.

KNEE

My knee is pretty fucked up still. I'm going to need to see a specialist about it. Not to happy about this. I can walk okay but if I bend it a certain way or move just the wrong way it hurts. Not good.

I'M BACK

Nebraska Cows 

Yes, good to be back! Vacation was good, but short this year. Josie even had a good time so that is a good sign. Stayed in the crack house again, and nothing weird happened this year. Saw a lot of people I haven't seen in years so that was good. Played poker with my brothers and just hung out for the most part. Did a little bit of the reunion part on the trip back but was more there to see my brothers and parents and to relax. I also had time to let my knee heal from the fall I had on my birthday. It's pretty much back to normal now. The bad thing about the trip is the 22 hours of driving in either direction. Other bad stuff about the trip is the demands and or pressure that was being put on my mother by others who had no clue they were doing any such thing. I say respect other peoples homes and keep the bitching and whining to a minimum. Also, nobody likes tightwad moochers. If you read this and think it's about you, chances are it is. Start thinking a little and don't be so fucking self absorbed. Maybe you should start offering to pay for things once in a while.Also, if you mooch don't be afraid to help around the house and maybe do some dishes once in a while. Oh, there is just as much talk going on behind your backs about you as your doing about others.

R.I.P.

Rick James is dead as is Julia Child. It always happens in threes so who's next, or am I missing  someone here?

DING DONG THE WITCH IS DEAD!

She's out of here! They moved Josie's mom into her own apartment yesterday but not without a lot of complaining. They tried to make Josie feel bad about the whole thing. Still, not a single one of them want her living with them. We gave her mom a couch and a television, and then her family tried to get us to chip in for groceries. What happened to her food stamps? Oh, Nancy (Josie's half-sister) used all $200 for her own use. I'm so glad this isn't going to be on my doorstep on a daily basis from here on out. As a matter of fact, I'm turning the computer off here in a second so that I can move it back into my den. I'm very happy about having my freedom back. I will not be taking anyone into my home anytime soon.

BIRTHDAY TWIST

The 27th was my birthday and I had to work. Well, I only worked 20 minutes before I tripped and sprang my knee. Happy fucking birthday! So I've spent some quality time sitting down and playing the expansion set of Diablo II. I went to the doctor and he said to stay off of the knee. No duh! I also lost more weight so I'm now at 228 lbs. with 48 more to lose.

NEBRASKA

We are off to the Glendy family reunion this week in Burwell Nebraska. I'll be hanging out with my favorite cousins my brothers, and many people I've never even met. It's going to be a blast! I'm also staying in the haunted crack house again. This time I'll have pictures so that you can see this place first hand. This might be he last post for about a week and a half, stay tuned for pictures and stories.

NICE RAINY DAY!

This was the view from my back yard today. We had a nice little rain and  the most perfect rainbow I've ever seen! Took the pictures with my new digital camera.

I'M A DUMB FUCK!

I stabbed myself by accident today. I have cut myself with a knife before, but neverstabbed myself. I was trying to put a hole in a can to relieve pressure (so the food would come out easily) and missed the can. I now have a hole on my left hand between my thumb and index finger. Yes, it's deep and it hurts.

Last test of new photo blog tool 

INSOMNIA SUCKS

Can't sleep!!! It's early in the morning and I have a full day of work ahead and I'm not even going to get three hours of sleep! SHIT!!!!! Josie's mom will be moving into an apartment in a few days. Very happy about that. She farted today and we had to open up the doors and turn the swamp cooler on high. No lie!

JULIYA CHERNETSKY

Played a ton of Diablo II this week. I have my Necromancer up to level 47! I know, who cares... I also got an e-mail from Juliya Chernetsky's publicist asking if I want to do an interview with her. How fucking rad is that? If you have any questions you want answered you should e-mail me with questions about said topic in the subject line. More than likely it will be done via e-mail seeing I don't have the storage space to place mp3s or wave files or even a recording device for phones.

HERE IT IS!

Okay, here's the picture of me with the goatee. Only one person hates it, and it just happens to be Josie. Yes, the hair get's cut tomorrow.

CRAZY WEEK

Lot's of shit hitting the fan this week! It was to be a quiet week off from work with privacy and nothing more that being lazy, watching television, listening to music, playing video games, and eating popcorn. Well, first thing that goes wrong is that Josie's mom get's dropped off on our doorstep and left there like a homeless dog. Seems that her big mouth got her thrown out of her daughters house (three homes in one year!) in record time. The same daughter that bitched and whined when I got Alice her own apartment a couple of months ago, the same daughter that thought we were doing some kind of injustice to their mother when I was only helping. Well, same shit different day! Alice has the bad habit of creating drama for the sake of entertainment, her own entertainment. Just like she did with us she went around telling people the problems that were going on over there and making up shit in the process to make it seem interesting. Well, I'm not playing this game! I told Josie her mom is out of here by the first of August, furniture and all! I got her an apartment once, went to great lengths to help her out only to be repaid with disrespect. So fuck her! I haven't said one word to her since she's been here. Oh, and a heartfelt thanks to her for pissing all over our furniture! FUCK!

So with that going on Brandon started getting sick about six days ago. He had a really high fever of 103.5` F and I almost rushed him to the ER but was able to get his fever down quickly to about 101` F. Then little red marks all over! Ah, chicken pox!!! So he still had a fever going two days latter but it wasn't chicken pox, it turned into hives and he was covered with them. So one doctor visit later we find out he has Strep and that is causing the massive rash all over. So now he is back to normal and no longer looks like a leper. So that was my crazy week.

HAPPY FOURTH!!

Not a whole lot going on other than playing Diablo II a lot and being lazy. I do have to work this weekend though, and even have some work this week coming up. Oh, I am growing a goatee! First time ever, I'll post a picture soon, got to let it grow a bit more. Other than that I don't have much to write about, stay tuned...

DREAM WEIRDNESS

This is strange, but true. I had a dream a couple of nights ago about a co-worker. In reality her father was murdered execution style just before Christmas last year. I haven't really talked to her much about it because I know it's a hard subject for her to tackle. Anyway, in this dream I was standing outside in the back yard of a house much like the Meckel house across the ally from where I grew up in Nebraska. Kathy was standing there and she had this decorated black box with the lid removed and she was talking into it as if she were having some kind of conversation. Kathy hands the box to me and I listen but hear noting. I give the box back to her and she continues the conversation. She turns to me and tells me it's her father talking to her from the other side and she wants me to decipher what he is telling her. I listen again and hear nothing. She takes the box and talks for a while, hands it to me and asks me to tell her dad what he needs to do. I tell him to look for YHWH (Yahweh, the Hebrew name for the creator) and to go into the white light. I say this several times and then the dream sifts to us trying to contact him via the internet. I connect to some Yahoo based chat room where there is a lot of this typed:



[blah] [blah] [blah] [blah] [blah] [blah] [blah]
[blah] [blah] [blah] [blah] [blah] [blah] [blah]
[blah] [blah] [blah] [blah] [blah] [blah] [blah]
[blah] [blah] [blah] [blah] [blah] [blah] [blah]



I learn by clicking on the the word blah I get this garbled mess that is some kind of message from her dad. I finally decipher some of the text and find that he is saying that it's raining where he is at. Two Christians from work are suddenly there and are telling us that he is in hell. I become upset and argue that it would be silly to think that it would be raining in hell. That is all I remember about the dream.

So where does it get weird? Well, it was such a vivid dream that it stuck with me much of the day then I had to work later on and saw Kathy and called her over. I explained that I had to tell her about the dream even though it might upset her but she was all for it so I told her. She was absolutely shocked and put her hand over her mouth. She then went on to tell me that she had just been up to Phoenix and that they had just recently put the remains of her cremated father into the black box that I had described to her and that just last weekend she had been standing next to it and talking into it to her father. This totally gave me goose bumps and made the hair on my neck stand up! I didn't know he had been cremated or anything about that box. This is just another chapter in my strange little life.

FAHRENHEIT 9/11

GO SEE THIS MOVIE!!!! Well worth the $5.25 I paid to see this movie. It only confirmed a lot of what I knew or felt and exposed more things I didn't know about. I won't spoil it for you but I encourage everyone to go see this. I went to go see this with Jimmy Rocker and D. Jimmy Rocker left right afterward so he could go home and pack for his trip to Thailand and then D. and I decided to sneak in to see THE DAY AFTER TOMORROW. Holy cow, what a piece of shit movie that is. We walked out within 15 minutes because it was so stupid. I won't spoil that one either but I'll beg you not to see it and save your money. It's an insult to your intelligence, trust me.

THIS BLOG

Lot's of time off means that I should have plenty of time to ramble about nothing on this blog. Stay tuned, I'm going to shave my ass and post pictures of it try and post something a little more witty and interesting. I'll try.

FAHRENHEIT 911

It's out tomorrow! I'll be going to see it with Dennis B. next week sometime. I'm pretty excited about this movie and I hope it makes an impact.

CRAWL

Work has slowed down to a crawl, and next week it's slowing down to a twitch. Less money will be coming in but I'm ready for time off. Guess it's time to do some reading! If I just had my computer room back I would be all set. Josie's mom needs to come and get her stuff soon or I'm going to give it to Miranda.

UNCLE PERVEY

Man, I attract a lot of perverts here! Here is another list of lovely searches that directed droves of unsavory people to my page:

Girls Naked Ass
Pictures of the Pentacle
Reverend Warren Moon
Secret Fraternity Ritual
Nasty Photos of Mom While She Sleeps
Will a Hand Fit Into a Vagina
Where Can I See Videos of Americans Being Beheaded
"The Locker" GPO
Guy Beheaded
Tucson, Brazilian Wax
Quinceanera
Anna Chlumsky
Lady WWF Nude
Females Talking About First Time Masturbation
WWW.LEFTHANDKIDS.COM
and tons of people searching for:
Juliya Chernetsky Nude, Naked, ETC.....
I'm sure there aren't any pictures of Juliya naked that are circulating so ease up a bit there people!

FATHERS DAY

It that what that was? From all the yelling and fighting I would have never guessed. Things got out of hand because of an argument over Brandon throwing a fit. Nice. We were going out to eat and Brandon couldn't wait 5 minutes till we got there to get a drink and started having a hissy. I told him to stop and then all of a sudden I'm picking on him again (Josie always says that when he gets in trouble for throwing a fit). Josie goes into her one and only defense, "Let's get a divorce." Even nicer. Things did mellow out but what a fucked up day that was. We never did go out to eat and I isolated myself for the majority of the day. Brandon is on my shit list. Think I'll try this on Mothersday.

SEARCH THIS

Just a few things people were searching for and found this page as of late:

WILLIAM HUNG TAKE ME OUT TO THE BALL GAME
ANNA CHLUMSKY PANTIES MY GIRL PHOTOS
MALE FEMALE SYMBOL
OFFICE SEX TALES
PISSY PANTIES
JULIYA CHERNETSKY
SHITTING TALES
LEFT HAND PATH
TERADACTYL PICTURE DINOSAUR
GI JOE PARODY CARTOONS
VAGINA TALES
TALES OF THE VAGINA
ODELAY VATO
PENTACLE RING
WILD STACY KEIBLER NUDE PHOTOS
FUCKHOUNDS

Anyway, that is just a few. There were even searches for shoving peaches into my vagina, more searches for Elisabeth Smart, etc. Your a sick bunch of people!

2O YEAR ANNIVERSARY

Got another letter asking if I was going to attend my 20 year graduation reunion. My answer is, FUCK YOU! I really didn't have a single friend in my graduating class, my friends we either in the classes above or below. And some of the people I hung out with and thought were my friends turned out to be self-centered cock munches anyway. I didn't like a lot of you back then and I'm sure 20 years isn't going to change a thing. I didn't fit into your little redneck community and though something was wrong with me. Well, it turns out that after I moved away I found out there wasn't a single thing wrong with me, I fit in fine in the city. It turned out that it was all of you backwards redneck fuckers that were the problem. Have a nice life and kindly fuck off once again, thanks....

DUH....

Not much to say, kind of late. CLICK HERE for another lovely movie. I don't know what I was thinking.....

WELCOME!

Check out this link for a special welcome movie I made for all of you to enjoy!

ONLINE MUSIC

Just wanted to say that I love iTUNES and absolutely hate Sony Connect service. Sony has no clue what they are doing with this service, totally out of sync with the consumer and about as user unfriendly as it can get. Hearken my warning oh internet traveler and stay away from the Connect service. iTUNES on the other hand is great, even if you have to traverse their music format.

SPASTIC AND SCARED

Brandon isn't sleeping in his bed these days. Spastic by day, scared by night. He's too scared to sleep by himself thanks to the makers of the RESIDENT EVIL video game. This is reeking havoc on my sex life (not that there is much of one) and I'm a tad pissed off. On the other hand I'm sleeping well when I do get to sleep because there isn't anybody to roll over and tell me I'm snoring.

SLOTH

Work is slowing down and I'm enjoying not having to do much of anything. I wish my tile was in so that I could hook up my stereo and listen to music. I'm great at wasting time by the way!

MOVIE

Bruce Almighty? WTF??? What a load of shit. It had a lot of potential but the religious tone ruined it for me. OH GOD was a better movie than this. I'll quit bitching now...

DREAM WEIRDNESS

MONSTER SITCOM

Wow! Last night's dream was about the weirdest I've had in a while.First I was dreaming that I was staying overnight in some strange house. My girlfriend is Josie and she is afraid the big thing that has been making noise is going to harm me in some way. The room is in the back and has a fireplace. The image of a rat that has been duct taped is associated with this part of the dream, that must be the thing that was making the noise. Like it was dropping to the floor or something. I then start Dreaming I am on a sitcom where a stinky monster lives in my girlfriends (in this sitcom) basement. Josie just happened to be my girlfriend in this part of the dream too but is quickly replaced by some white girl at some point in the dream. In the dream if you touch the monster you became just like it. I am delivering newspapers or something and I, being nosy, sneaked into the house and touched the monster and became like him. Then in a dream sequence(within the show, remember this is a sitcom) I had a twilight zone like experience where an operation (preformed by the monster himself) was performed on me to make me like everyone else who is normal in the world. In this basement world every one was like the monster, but I woke up in the dream and found out I was ok. I thanked the monster, and he thanked me back. This is all taking place at the top of a carpeted stairwell that leads down into basement. The monster would leave this trail of black stuff trailing behind him that looked like the black magnetic graphite powder you see in those kids toys where you draw the faces. The smell emanating from him was putrid as hell. It  was somewhere between the smell rotting dead flesh and soup. To keep the monster at bay you had to vacuum the black stuff up. I got all of it up, and as I was finishing the girlfriends daughter proceeds to almost go down the steps to the basement which is located in the girlfriends bedroom. By the way this girlfriend that has replaced Josie is white. During the dream it was revealed that the monster had formed from mutating mold and goo from her swimming pool that never got cleaned. I had fallen in somehow and became infected. The monster may have been John Lithgow the actor.

BACK TO NORMAL

Things have gotten somewhat back to normal here. Josie's mom is gone, there's less stress on her and that means less yelling. My sex life is nonexistent still, unless random bouts of masturbation count. Won't bother you with details unless your really have to know. Brandon got the RESIDENT EVIL disk for his game cube a week ago and the zombie's in the game have scared him so bad that he won't sleep in his room. I've been sleeping in his bed for about four or five days now. Needless to say, we took that game back and got him one of the ZELDA games. Much better! The symptoms that were making me ill have gone away. I must have ingested Aspartame (nutra-sweet) last week. It really makes me sick, destroys my equilibrium and makes me fell like there's a balloon inflated in my forehead. No idea how it got into anything I ate or drank. Quit drinking soda for the most part and have been making Kool-Aid instead. Nothing else really going on so I'll wrap this up.

NEWSFLASH!

THIS JUST IN: Josie's mom moved out of our house, physically anyway. Her furniture is still here but only for a short while. She said she felt better and wanted to get an apartment of her own. We took her to the place she wanted to live and got her qualified to move in and she signed a lease. This pissed everybody off and they all bitched and moaned about what to do but none of them wanted to step and take care of her. Then two days later the family decides she's too old and sick to be living by herself and then she moved in with her daughter Nancy. Now they have to get out of the lease and all that but I don't give a shit, it's out of my hands at this point. Those people can never do anything correctly, it's always half-assed no matter what the situation is. It sure is nice to have privacy again though! I can't wait to get my computer room back!

WORK

Oh, I'm just tired. Too much work, too many days. I can't wait for it to slow down a bit. Most of the shit seems to have settled for now. Only one nasty still being real nasty but I'm not turning my back for one second. I'm going to win this.

SORRY

I'll try to post something of worth in the days coming up. It's been too much with work, Josie's mom, I haven't been feeling well, and did I mention work?

PROPS

Sometimes you find a real gem and then feel a wee bit like a silly little schoolgirl who just happened to get that action figure Barbie that you've wanted for months. Well, today I'm that schoolgirl! While surfing aimlessly around the web looking for free exciting music I stumbled upon a band called Ex-Girl. You can go to to their page at www.alternativetentacles.com and listen to free MP3 files. My favorite by far is called "Rocket Keronian." I'm buying this motherfucker tonight so don't you fret. I dare you go go listen to those three songs, double dog fucking dare you, beeyatch!

THE LORD

Christian group in house tonight. All I can say is, "Just shut the fuck up!" I hate having to stand there while these groups pray before meals, I hate it even more when the prayer turns in to  a sob saturated rant about how the United States has gods squeal of approval, and that we are above every nation, and that we are a rich country because of this. BULLOCKS! This mindset is dangerous, it's the reason wars exist. Now I'll shut the fuck up.

WELL HUNG PENIS

Anybody hear William Hung singing Take Me Out To The Ballgame on television the past couple of days? Fucking hilarious! Not only is he oblivious to the fact that he can't carry a tune, he isn't fully aware he mispronounces words sometimes. Her is a small MP3 of the first few bars of the song. William really wants you to buy him some penis!

CLICK HERE ** PENIS SONG ** CLICK HERE

Makes me want to run out and get some cracker jacks and some... uh...

PAYING FOR MUSIC

I'm all for it, and I've even been doing it as of late. I just paid $1.07 for the Unplugged version of Lake of Fire by Nirvana joined by the people who penned that lovely tune, the Meat Puppets. Well, I've hit the wall on 80% of the songs I wanted to pay for. Jackson Brown's Boulevard, good luck finding that. Heart and Soul by T'pau, not happening. I could write the list of tunes on here but that's too involved at the moment. So what am I getting at? Well, I'm tired of the music industry bitching and complaining about music theft. Hey, I've got a brilliant idea, lower the cost of your fucking over priced music and maybe make more of it available! I would spend a whole lot more money if you would make it cheaper for MP3 files, it's not like they are CD quality anyway. And the M4P format is easy enough to get around because I prefer the MP3 format anyway. I use Winamp (it whips the llamas ass!) because of it's ease of use, it's skinnable, and  I've been a loyal user of their product for many years. It doesn't yet support the format iTUNES uses though. Make your product cheaper and easier to access, it's that simple. Now kindly fuck off and stop sniveling like the trite little greedy bitches that you are. Overpaid fuckhounds...

FUCKED UP WEEKEND

Jesus Crackers and cheese! Nothing could have made this past week any worse, I swear. It started off good on Thursday when  we found Josie's mom an apartment to move into at the same complex where two of her brothers live. I was happy about that because I'm looking forward to having my privacy back and they accepted her application and even helped her out by lowering the rent by ten dollars a month and waving most of the move in costs. Cool shit! Had the next day off, restful and uneventful, Brandon started feeling sick though that night, then a little bit later Josie's mom started feeling ill even though I had no idea. She doesn't talk to me unless it's absolutely necessary. Well, Saturday rolls around and he's not feeling well, and then Alice starts shivering like crazy, almost like convulsions. We rush her to ER and she spends the whole day back there. I was lucky that I took a book because we where there for a hell of a long time. Josie was an emotional mess by the end of the day, and seeing that most of the people in her family are not entirely too bright they didn't help matters much. So she gets admitted to the hospital and spends the night. The next morning I had to take Brandon to see a doctor because his temperature shot up and his throat hurt. I had to call in sick as we soon learned Alice wasn't going home any time soon and in return for their most excellent hospitality they were keeping her gallbladder and running a whole bunch more tests. Well, that was Saturday and now it's Tuesday. She's still in the hospital for this or that reason, and needs someone to watch after her still. That isn't going to happen here because I'm busy at work as is Josie and neither of us can provide the care she needs at the moment. Plus I was already finished with this live in situation before this latest tragedy. This isn't being cold hearted, it's a matter of sanity and keeping my marriage from going into the toilet. I've got enough on my plate the way it is, time for her family to step up and do something!