HAND JOBS

No comment necessary!

[Written Yesterday] Very early this morning, before I had a chance to got to sleep Brandon had fallen asleep in our room watching television with Josie. I couldn't sleep so I was playing games and trying to get my cable modem to work. Around 1:00 a.m. I heard conversation coming from my bedroom. I thought it was Brandon talking and the tone of voice was very troubled. I walk in and everybody is asleep. I figured Brandon was talking in his sleep. I walk back here to the computer room and a few seconds later Josie pops her head in the door and said she was having bad dreams and she couldn't go to sleep without me going with her. I go to bed a few minutes later and ask her why she is so scared. She said she had been dreaming that a tall naked guy was chasing her around the house with a belt demanding that she give him a hand job. I found this amusing as hell but she was pretty traumatized and was even sobbing. It was all I could do to keep from laughing and ended up back in here just because of that.

I LOVE YVONNE

AND SO CAN YOU FOR $19.95!

LOVE HER!!!!!

Just kidding! I truly do love Yvonne! I've been reading her blog almost a year and a half now and she always seems to put a smile on my face. It's "I LOVE YVONNE WEEK" anyway and I'm expressing my love. Go read her blog, DO IT NOW!!!!! She love you long time...

CABLE MODEM

One of my new best friends...

My cable modem took a dump on me yesterday. It was a Toshiba PCX 1100 and had worked kind of poorly most of the time I had it. It's been playing this invisibility game with my computer ever since I've had it. Works for a while then the computer can no longer recognize it and I have no connection. Yesterday it decided it wasn't going to work for more than five minutes at a time. That was it, I threw that piece of shit in the trash. I now have a new Linksys BEFCMU10 cable modem and everything seems to be working fine.

A NICE DAY OFF

Dead Baby Dress Up Fun!!!

I'm spending my day off being lazy and just plain fucking around. Notice the super hero I created via This Is A Cry For Help under the Super Hero Baby Dress up game. I love this site! Anyway, I'm still feeling a little sick due to this cold. I'm starving as well, I need to go make lunch soon.

MIRANDA

Miranda brought home her first failing grades ever this week. She's been a A and B student, always. Suddenly she misses a test, and some other stuff in Spanish. She also has a crush on a boy but doesn't know I know. His name is Pedro and I'm not telling her how I found out. This shit comes to an end now or I'm going to have to become an un-cool dad and take some things away.

Our house is back to normal. Click on picture for larger view.

THE COMMON COLD

It's been a great four days!

Ah, what can be said of the common cold? It sucks! Started feeling sick Thursday night and was pretty sick all day Saturday. Been working a lot of hours as of late as well. I feel pretty good today though and I'm just about to go to bed to to get a decent amount of sleep so that I can kill this thing.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY

It was Miranda's Birthday today. She's 14 years old now. Fuck, I'm starting to feel old.

JOB

May be applying for a new job within a couple of weeks. Will keep you all posted. It would be a good opportunity for me in the long run. We shall see.

Only had an hour for a break from work and what am I doing to kill my time?

PRAISE THE LORD!

Yes Jesus loves me, the Bible tells me so...

So Paul Crouch, the owner and preacher on TBN, [CLICK HERE FOR STORY] paid some drug addict almost half a million dollars so that he wouldn't sue him and would also keep quite about the gay sex they were having? All I am going to say about this is that I'm not surprised. Have you ever watched this buffoon on television before? Are people really that fucking stupid? Would you really send this pasty douche bag money? What would Jesus do? If I were Jesus I would kick his ass just for pimping me out on a daily basis.

SUPER SIZE ME BITCH!

I wanted a super sized Big Mac meal today but was informed that they no longer give you super sized french fries because some fat guy tried to sue Mc Donald's for making him fat. Give me a fucking break! You have a choice, eat at Mc D's or don't eat at Micky D's. Oh, try and get your fat ass a salad once in a while you fat fucker! I'm tired of you lazy fuckers fucking up my daily existence. I can't have super sized french fries now because of some lazy, greedy, fat fucker. I can't watch Beavis and Butthead say the word FIRE because some little needle dicked no brain dip shit kid lit his house on fire. I can't listen to my favorite music without being warned because Tipper Gore got her twat all knotted up over some Twisted Sister songs. Get some self control you worthless assholes! Stop fucking things up for the rest of us who are smart enough to know better. Now why don't you go and give that Drano enema a try and see what happens, stupid fucks.

3 YEARS LATER...

And who stood to get rich over all this? 

It was three years ago today that I woke up to my alarm clock and a very distraught looking Miranda. I had told her the night before that I needed sleep because I had been working so much and that I didn't care what happen she was informed not to wake me up, under any circumstances. "You had better come an see what's happening on t.v. dad, I think something blew up." I couldn't focus very well, I had only had about six hours of sleep and I was very groggy. "What the fuck is this?" I thought to myself as I looked at the first tower smoking. "Holy Shit! They must  have bombed the World Trade Center again!" I said out loud. Then another angle showed the second tower along with the first, both smoking. "Holy Fuck! They bombed both buildings!" I exclaimed putting my hand over my mouth and kind of not believing anything I was seeing. Then they started playing another tape of the second plain hitting the second tower. I sat down and must have said the words FUCK and HOLY SHIT over and over. I remember telling the kids how bad this was, how this was going to affect the economy. In a haze I remember getting Miranda to school and Brandon to Tia Lina's house because he hadn't started school quite yet. Then getting to work and seeing the horrified faces not just of my fellow co-workers but also of the guest we had sitting in the ballroom watching the news on big screen televisions that were set up for presentations of new technologies, not mass mayhem and destruction. Awe and disbelief covered the faces of the many people sitting there staring while others wept and tried to make phone calls on the cellular phones. I was given the option of going home but chose to stay and try and feed the few clients that had shown up to be fed. I remember thinking to myself, and even telling a few people that this was the best day of Gary Condit's life. He had been the focus of the media and they were relentless. I think I called it when I said nobody would even remember his name after that day. There were a lot of rumors floating around on the news, a lot of confusion, I knew I wouldn't be sleeping much that night. I stayed up most of the night and laid on the sofa all the next day totally in shock. Three years later and I know a few things about our President that doesn't sit well with me. I'm sickened by it to tell you the truth. I'm going to spend the majority of the day watching memorial shows and then later at work I'll be feeding the crew that is setting up a show for a big name car company that is in house that I won't mention, but I will say they make high end automobiles and it starts with the letter V. It's going to be a busy week. Oh, and one last thing (tangent), are you going to be surprised when they wheel out Bin Laden right before the election and pretend that he has just been caught? Call it another prediction.

I'M THE DEVIL!

Mr. Devil to you... 

I won tickets to go see RESIDENT EVIL II: THE APOCALYPSE today. The FRANK SHOW on KFMA was asking people to call in and confess the most evil thing they had ever done. I didn't have anything real evil, but I did call about what I used to do back in the mid 80's when I was really bored. I would call up a certain Catholic church and leave messages on their answering machine with an altered voice. I would use a pitch shifter to make my voice real deep and scary and then would leave a message from Satan about how I really wanted some tasty wafers to go with my Cheese Wiz. I would also call up some place called Carpet Crafts or Carpet Crafters (it's been 20 years) at night and leave messages in the same voice as the Carpet Craft Master. I would tell them to steal the souls of the un-expecting with their weaving skills. I was bored and stoned on a regular basis back then.

TILE

Dining area 

It's finally done! Looks nice, Doesn't it?

FUCK MICROSOFT!

Thanks you Bill G. for crashing my computer and causing the loss of a lot of valuable data. Your latest service pack surely did service me. The next best thing to you servicing me would have been a lightly greased fist penetrating my ass at mach speeds. Thanks for the fist fucking and frustration Bill. Fucking Bastard!

WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?

Well, it goes like this. My damn windows update thing has been bugging the hell out of me about the new service pack update. I decided to give in. Windows then proceeded to change things around, install a bunch of things, and then render my computer useless upon reboot. I couldn't even get a simple DOS prompt (C:\) and after two hours on the phone, most of that waiting to talk to someone, I just gave up and used the recovery disk that set my computer up to the factory settings. Well, this erased everything. Pictures, games, porn, you name it! The kicker in this whole thing is Microsoft tech support is out of India! YES, India!!! The poor lady on the other end had no clue what was going on, could only read what her computer monitor was telling her to repeat, and was absolutely no help. Well, at least the tile work in my house should be done by tomorrow. I've got that going for me!